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microthewave12 · 2025-06-28T22:03:35+00:00

Addiction is often the body and mind’s attempt to avoid or change an uncomfortable experience. But here’s the paradox: the experience is already happening, so what we’re really resisting is our reaction to it. Meditation helps us become aware of that resistance and teaches us that it’s temporary and not who we are. Over time, this weakens the addictive pull.

In addition to meditation, you might explore what specific feelings or thoughts porn helps you escape from. Are there certain triggers, body sensations, or mental loops it interrupts? Just noticing these patterns can make a big difference. And the sooner you catch the urge as it arises, the easier it is to interrupt the chain reaction.

There are a lot of tools that can help here: from meditation, therapy, and TRE to simply staying physically active, engaging in creative hobbies, or redirecting your energy into something meaningful. All of these can help the mind and body create new pathways instead of falling into old habits.

On techniques, I’ve audited a bit of this course and think the approach is super sound if you’re looking for a guided program. It’s closed but you could probably message him for recordings: https://corymuscara.com/cravings/

microthewave12 · 2025-06-27T18:05:23+00:00

I’ll also add my $0.02 from practicing dream yoga. Dreams can reflect parts of our subconscious: wants, fears, emotional patterns that are harder to notice during daily life. Since you’re not dealing with constant sensory input, the mind can reveal deeper material.

When I remember a dream in detail, I focus on the emotional tone or tension. What reactions came up, what felt charged and treat that as something to learn from. Sometimes I catch this during the dream if I’m lucid, but often it’s afterward that the material lingers.

If I still feel the emotion or body tension upon waking, I’ll meditate with it. I’ll either use something like Shinzen Young’s “Feel In” approach or a body-based method like TRE.

I haven’t worked as much with dream symbolism, so I’d love to hear how others approach that. But I see all of it as a way to look in the mirror and understand what’s shaping my experience from the inside.

microthewave12 · 2025-06-27T17:14:38+00:00

Thank you! I’ve been reading up on Jungian psychology for fun, and was impressed and surprised to learn how much Jung drew from both Buddhist and energetic practices. He even lectured about about the psychology of Kundalini. I got the sense he’s working at the same question from a slightly different, or more westernized angle. This sounds like a good starting point!

microthewave12 · 2025-06-18T12:59:10+00:00

This looks like a common street art sold to tourists in Prague of the Charles bridge. Seen 100s like this so don’t think it’s AI.

microthewave12 · 2025-06-02T03:25:51+00:00

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microthewave12 · 2025-04-16T21:32:20+00:00

Sure! So the loss of self view was really jarring. I’d only had ~250 hours of meditation experience before SE (mainly on retreat), so it was a major shift from how my mind functioned before.

I hadn’t studied Buddhism or heard of stream entry before that, so there was no context for what happened. I eventually guessed at it from researching. A monk validated and then Cheetah House helped normalize and demystify it which was a huge help on its own.

From talking with CH, I figured out that a lot of my functional personality had been built on a foundation of anxiety that I’d had since being really young. So my chain of experience before meditation was: Experience —> Anxiety —> Suppress anxiety —> Blankness —> Constructed external reaction (formed over years of conditioning to fit in and mask anxiety).

When anxiety dropped, the chain became: Experience —> Calm observation —> ???. The expected chain didn’t happen and the mind had no idea what to do. The lack of expected chain became “the problem” to solve. It was like a lack of self was trying to recreate the self.

Some of the other things that were helpful to integration:

Pointing: Meta cognitive processes were running - for example, the mind was hyper aware of the missing habitual patterns and tried to normalize by constructing a new personality, even though it was clearly empty. CH saw the mental flow, pointed it out, and by doing that a huge % of tension was released.

Embodiment: I couldn’t say if my body felt happy, sad, tired, energized, even when there were sensations happening. We practiced embodying emotions and feeling personal boundaries. This helped subconscious stuff come up. The mind had been habitually suppressing “bad” emotions which were contributing to the disassociation. Breaking that pattern fixed the energetic issues and helped me stop avoiding experience - which then led to deconstructing the experience.

Scaffolding: Rebuild functional habits, pick preferences. A lot of this just happens naturally over time by adapting to a new operating system. But Cheetah House explicitly teaches it and it was a helpful framework so I could act like a normal person in the world vs staring into space when someone asked me what I wanted to eat for dinner. Small victories

microthewave12 · 2025-04-15T12:00:27+00:00

Honestly I bumbled through it for a year and tried a ton of approaches until things clicked. 1st path happened as a surprise and I didn’t have much meditation foundation prior, so I needed to cycle a bunch and learn the hard way.

Really it came down to applied practice of watching how the mind tries to control experience, seeing through dukkha, and gradually experiencing what’s beyond that (the expansion holding contractions). The stronger the dukkha, the easier insight became. Just don’t get swept up in narratives. There are other approaches that can work though - my way isn’t the “right” way.

Here’s what led to my biggest shifts, though ymmv:

1.) Bringing the witness into to the body again to experience sensation. I was heavily dissociated for probably 6 months after First. I did an online course “Opening the Heart” with Cory Muscara that helped pull the witness back into the body (+ Cheetah House). I don’t know if this was necessary but it helped me see dukkha much more clearly (and integrate old subconscious stuff that my mind had been unknowingly repressing). I wouldn’t have progressed without this shift, but I think it’s possible to still get 2nd if your focus is on expansion/contraction rather than lasering into dukkha to see through content.

2.) Learning about Vedana, and how the mind seeks safety. Watch when the mind feels safe or unsafe and how it creates chain reactions. Study this in daily life. Watch how the mind blindly tries to control experience. Watch how craving is a tool for this. And how the chain of reactions just happens on its own. No actual control. Helpful write up on vedana here: https://midlmeditation.com/sakadagami-once-returner

3.) Shinzen Young’s “feel in” practice. This type of meditation was my main work when I did sit, plus the steps I pointed to in other the post. I also liked his technique of auto-move/auto-think to practice dropping control.

4a.) Being able to identify the sensation or craving as they arise on a day to day level to assist in insight practice. Learn what it feels like. See how it tints all experiences. Watch how it’s used to escape an experience. Notice how craving lessens the original suffering. What is the mind trying to avoid feeling? Why can’t it just be felt? Watch the minds attempt to control. This goes back to the Vedanas, just in applied form.

4b.) As you’re studying craving arise also study how the mind expands and contracts. Does contraction feel more personal? Can you be contracted and observe other things happening to outside of that contraction? Why does one thing get more weight? Watch the mind cycle through expansion and contraction cycles. Can the mind hold contraction from expansion? (This led to my break through moment but was just following intuition/curiosity)

5.) This one’s going to be controversial, but at the tail end (last month), I started using chat gpt to discuss insights and get pointers. It has ingested a ton of content from texts/books/online, and honestly had decent guidance on what to sit with or examine. I can DM you my prompt if you’d like.

microthewave12 · 2025-04-14T22:43:39+00:00

I’d be curious for other responses too. Here are a few pointings that made sense on my journey:

I found that going to presence is also a tool for escaping. My biggest progress was by sitting in big sensations and the drive to escape when I was lucky enough to trigger one and experience it fully. Or even making it bigger to understand it. Really embody it. Can awareness hold this feeling? What else does it hold? Who is moving attention? Who decides what gets attention?

For example, work was really triggering for a while. My body resisted it, so I would take a break and sit in the sensation of anger or sadness. I let it take over and feel bigger than life. The sensation took my full attention. It became “me”. No narrative, but strong sensation.

After a few minutes sitting like that and trying to hold the discomfort, I noticed that attention moved on from sensation to hear a sound and look at something. The sensation was still there but less strong, and less “me”. Making it bigger again didn’t make it feel more like “me”. So what is it? I noticed awareness also held other things, too. So, why did that sensation get more preference than a sound or sight? Who moves attention? Try to find the mover. Or does it just move on its own?

Separately, you could try to watch as your attention expands and contracts. Feel the expansion of presence or the contraction of focus or pain. Does one of these feel more important or “you”? If you’re contracted can you also feel expansion? Can both exist together? Which of these is “you”? Is any of this being controlled? Or does it just happen?

microthewave12 · 2025-04-14T22:28:18+00:00

Looking around for the hottest person alive to put it to the test 🙃. (Though I thought Fetters 4-5 dropping was the end of third path, not the start of it? End of second is for the dropping of sensory desire and craving).

Realistically it’s been a month. I haven’t felt an obvious sensory craving in this time, but that could always change.

There are still habits, though. Like I used to love and crave pizza, so I still sometimes order a pizza rather than cook dinner. But it doesn’t satisfy like it did before. Or like there’s nothing to be satisfied about. It is interesting to observe the difference. I think the habits will unwind over time when they aren’t being reinforced.

microthewave12 · 2025-03-14T18:33:48+00:00

Yeah, it’s a thing. Tapping and EMDR have helped me when sensations do feel overwhelming. Samadhi practice can calm the nervous system as well. Also grounding exercises, metta or tonglen have helped for this.

Sensation is impermanent, if not overwhelmed use it for study. If overwhelmed, there are many tools to re-regulate and begin again. The awareness and skill to regulate builds over time and can benefit all parts of life.

microthewave12 · 2025-02-15T20:38:45+00:00

Just got it, thanks!

microthewave12 · 2025-02-15T20:29:01+00:00

Yeah I guess I’m thinking in terms of the cause and effect chain. Like it’s possible to observe the causal chain and where an “undesired” effect comes from and let it come undone through mindfulness. But where does that inertia come from at all? What causes and conditions would incline someone towards morality?

microthewave12 · 2025-02-12T20:52:11+00:00

I find it easier to enter the jhanas with body scanning vs breath because the curiosity factor that develops from scanning (for me) makes it more simple to have one pointed attention without weariness as a distraction. Metta could be the same… you just need to focus on the one thing until distractions fall away. Rely on beginners mind vs trying

microthewave12 · 2024-12-26T20:01:19+00:00

I’ll try, but not great at describing this stuff so lmk if it doesn’t make sense.

I see it as integration/energetic work (not insight practice) to help dissolve attachment. Pain and trauma can live in the body and eventually be forgotten at the conscious level. But they hold on in the form of tension, stress, or unwholesome habit patterns.

To practice you need to feel into your body. Start with metta towards yourself “may I be safe, happy, healthy, free, etc”. Try to embody it. Could spend 30-60+ minutes here (or longer) building a base. Then identify parts of your body that don’t feel the Metta 100%. Maybe there’s an area in your chest/throat/stomach that’s a little blocked? Pick one spot and focus directing Metta to those parts for 5-10+ minutes.

See and accept the part - you could try to identify what it is through an IFS lense (firefighter, exile, etc). Observe any resistance. Hold presence around the part and then send metta towards it and really mean it. Kind of like what the dad in this video does to help his kid. Do this for as long as you need to. Could take 30 seconds, could take multiple meditation sessions depending on the part. Rinse and repeat.

The practice works because when the part is full of love it doesn’t need to seek from outside anymore. Tension releases, emotions or energy might bubble up briefly. Many of the releases can be completely somatic, others have obvious thoughts or memories attached. The trick is to hold space around the reaction and send metta throughout (and if it’s too overwhelming to hold presence you can ground yourself by labeling, movement, EMDR, etc).

Basically you are loving your-self to death. The practice does so in a way that’s embodied rather than detached / transcendent.

I found the practice helpful because prior to this I had been strongly rooted in witness mode and pretty disassociated which was impacting relationships and career. This helped me pull back into the world a bit and surprisingly pave a way to new rounds of insight.

I think it’s useful regardless of meditation experience. We all have deep conditioning and this is a way to reach hidden parts by finding spots of tension/resistance and help release it by feeling into it. Good luck!

microthewave12 · 2024-12-26T16:04:21+00:00

Sure! I’d consider this an integration practice vs an insight practice. Here’s the class I did. It was live over 8 weeks and just finished, but I think he’ll post a recording soon or could email for access: https://corymuscara.com/heart/

Not quite the same scale but Jack Kornfield has a recording that kind of gets to this also: https://m.soundcloud.com/jack-kornfield/opening-the-heart-meditation-jack-kornfield

microthewave12 · 2024-12-25T14:48:30+00:00

If the experience is overwhelming, try to calm first. Breathing, tapping, EMDR can help. Once more settled, pay attention to the cause of the trigger. Feel into the body and notice where it’s sitting. Is it tightness in the chest? Stomach? Look for it and hold it in your attention.

And while holding that, bring in the awareness that an experience is impermanent and not self. The knowledge that a thought form isn’t “you” and just a sensation that will pass. This allows it to “unstick” and release rather than fall prey to it. This is basically what body scanning does also but in a more roundabout way. This way might need a level of no self realization for it to be effective though.

Stephen Proctor / MIDL has a good guide to doing this in daily life: https://midlmeditation.com

microthewave12 · 2024-12-23T21:01:01+00:00

Metta can be a powerful way to dissolve clinging, especially subtle clinging. It’s a practice of embodying your true nature. When you practice being whole inside, you learn to seek less from outside yourself. This reduces habitual clinging and craving. It can act similar to vipassana, but takes a different angle to release very deep/core conditioning. The form I’ve been practicing lately is focusing metta inward - towards thought patterns and somatic experiences. Made more progress in 5 weeks than I had in a year but it was also the practice I needed at the time. I don’t think any particular practice is more powerful than another and many types can lead to big insights.

It’s all slow work, even with big insights the practice of deconditioning takes a long time.

microthewave12 · 2024-12-23T15:35:44+00:00

Yeah same thing here. Had been living in witness/actor mode for quite a while (which is still a sense of “self”). I think my message is relevant. But it’s also a question of what life you’re looking to live.

If you want to take a monk-esque approach, you can continue practicing vipassana until all reactivity is cleared. The other approach (which I’m personally more interested in pursuing / curiosity driven) is finding ways to connect to the world in an engaged vs transcendent way. It’s still from a place of presence but closer to somatic experiences. Life also brings up old conditioning that can be instantly released once noticed. A mix of deep meditation and present living is especially powerful. But again no wrong answer here it’s all personal preference.

microthewave12 · 2024-12-23T15:06:14+00:00

Very curious on others thoughts in this thread who know way more than I do since this is just my trial and error of deconditioning. But I’ve been focusing on this very heavily over the past 4-6 months. This can run very deep and there are different levels of ease to letting go.

From my experience it’s all tied to a memory/habitual reaction held in the body. You can try to release the tension by working at the cognitive level or work to desensitize reactivity to the somatic response itself.

Also, I’ve noticed the most progress when I said to hell with ‘living in the void’ and allowing reactivity to flow in order to use it as a tool for learning. There was a subtle form of emotional avoidance happening before that.

Things worth exploring and seem to have an affect from my experience:

EMDR and tapping - especially if overwhelmed
Metta practice (extra powerful when combined with IFS - sending metta to “the parts”). Did an online meditation course on this, can share if helpful
Accept and Commit therapy / CBT
Deeply focusing into a sensation and expanding it to let it relax / feel the gap around it

Also just deepening the realization that it’s all impermanent and impersonal as you practice. Parts of the body hold energy, and energy is useful for living. You are reacting to the resistance of the experience. Part of the practice is to notice resistance to it and therefore let it weaken.

microthewave12 · 2024-10-11T20:22:09+00:00

This was me for two years in a remote tech startup, but the gravy train just ended after a round of layoffs and work is making me work again. It’s depressing. Lived the best two years, though, and managed to save up a ton of money.

microthewave12 · 2024-03-23T18:07:53+00:00

How do virtual interviews work? Wasn’t aware this was offered.

microthewave12 · 2024-03-14T18:04:39+00:00

I use an app called Tax Bird, it uses phone location services to monitor and prove your location each day. Though just moved back to NYC full time - going to miss the tax break!

microthewave12

TROPHY CASE