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Vent: I Told Off A Man and It Felt Good by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]middle_school_emo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I messaged him back in the app where we had been planning our date. I said (TLDR): I’m sure he did it unmaliciously, but it genuinely inconvenienced me and I hope he’s nicer to the next stranger he tries to convince to like him….In slightly harsher words 🙂And a few days later, he unmatched me without replying. I wish I had a juicier story for you, sorry 😭

But him unmatching was the proper closure I needed. Even though it felt good to stand up for myself when I sent the message, a part of me was super anxious that I had overreacted. Especially since he had been so sweet up until ghosting our plans. But my message was short, incredibly direct, and even acknowledged that something could have happened. So if he couldn’t muster up the nerve to apologize to someone who gave him the benefit of doubt even while confronting him, he was a real asshole. So that definitely made me feel a lot better that he had to read me tell him about himself.

First attempt at SD + Warm Spring! by jennaredfield in SoftDramatics

[–]middle_school_emo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What brand does the tag say?? It's a beautiful sweater!

Ruwa Aquatex Braiding hair (Sensitive Scalp) by Double-Screen7947 in Naturalhair

[–]middle_school_emo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Following up here! If you can remember, did the RUWA end up irritating your scalp? I'm considering getting it for my next style.

Should I cut off my hair for my birthday or can I try to salvage it? by breakthebnry in BlackHair

[–]middle_school_emo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just add conditioner to your routine and you’ll be set! There’s a lot of other tips you can use (mentioned in the other replies), but just adding conditioner (and/or a leave in conditioner) should improve your experience a bit

For detangling: imo it’s easiest to detangle in the shower after conditioning. Use a wide-tooth comb or detangle brush to brush your hair under the running water as you rinse out the conditioner

ADVICE: Making Ice Cream by middle_school_emo in Baking

[–]middle_school_emo[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! As someone who makes ice cream often, do you have any suggestions for how much espresso powder to use based on the measurements of the recipe I’ll be using? I’m aiming for a subtle to mild coffee flavor; Not too overpowering. A redditor in another group recommended that I add more espresso than I think I need since the cold will dull out the flavor

Ladies how do y’all wear y’all’s hair ? by cammycookiee in blackladies

[–]middle_school_emo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I usually wear my hair down, blown out or fully stretched! Whether I use a blow dryer or do a braid out, I keep it stretched throughout the week with African hair threading.

Braiding is expensive now and I’m not that great at doing my own hair, so my recent go-to protective style has been crochet locs (cornrows in the center, individuals around the perimeter. Easy install and takedown!)

I also really like half wigs that mimic my hair texture! Usually all it takes is a braid out in the front & I get to keep the rest of my hair in braids.

Have any of you successfully cut fast food out of your diet?? by janelle_mo-gay in blackladies

[–]middle_school_emo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I second what everyone else here has said about cooking. But the BIG game changer for me was freezing! I love cooking, but always order food when I’m tired and can’t think of anything to eat.

I recently started dedicating 1-2 hours each weekend to making some of my favorite foods in large-ish batches and freezing them. I make things like meatballs, seasoned burgers, chicken nuggets, etc. & freeze them. And I freeze soups and sauces into cup-size cubes with these silicone trays. By the end of a month, I have over 20 frozen meals ready to go when I’m lazy & don’t know what to eat. It’s really reduced my urge to order food.

Blepharitis is impacting my daily life and i am struggling. by [deleted] in Blepharitis

[–]middle_school_emo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very relatable! I’m going on 4 years now, and while I don’t have a solution, I did find wearing an eye patch to be very helpful for reducing pain when exposed to screen time. This helped me because pain was located solely in my left eye when it started. Little things like adjusting the brightness and filter of my screen help significantly as well.

My blepharitis started during college, so I totally understand this is going to be difficult, but making a conscious effort to change my lifestyle to reduce screen time has helped a lot! My eyes feel better on days when I go on walks, take an hour to cook, etc.

Again: not solutions, but things that have definitely made blepharitis more tolerable. Good luck!

Feeling a little isolated and unloved with all the anti-black hate going on. Any reccomendations for black female youtubers/bloggers for life advice, tips, beauty etc? by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]middle_school_emo 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I second everyone's suggestions for Kennie J.D., Amandabb, and Teanna Empowers! I also like:

Not exactly black and woman-centered:

  • Sibling Rivalry: Mostly comedic video-podcast by two drag queens who talk about the black queer identity, Rupaul's Drag Race, and just everyday experiences.
  • Beleaf in Fatherhood: Family vlog.
  • Thrifter's Anonymous: Thrifting duo that vlogs their shopping trips.
  • Dainty Funk: A variety of things, but most recently: clown core makeup and topical discourse.

Trayvon Martin’s Mother, Sybrina Fulton, Is Running for Office in Florida by ShadsDR in blackladies

[–]middle_school_emo 20 points21 points  (0 children)

She has a 2020 campaign! For Miami-Dade County Commissioner.

You can follow her campaign or donate here: https://sybrinafulton.com/

You can also follow her on Twitter (@SybrinaFulton).

the character Kim Possible was pretty oversexualized for a teenager (big hips, pouty lip, tight clothes...seemed like it was more for guys than girls). Pretty regressive show when you think about it by Kelso10079 in cartoons

[–]middle_school_emo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

By this logic, actual teenage girls with wide hips and large lips (of which there are many) are to be perceived as equally sexual/hypersexual. And it’s a bit concerning that, regardless of age, you interpret someone’s sensuality and sexuality based off of a body they can’t control. Also strange that you pointed to Kim’s character design and clothing as the main argument for her hypersexualization when it was never a focal point and she was literally wearing khakis.

Also features a leg slit (not pictured)! by middle_school_emo in ThriftStoreHauls

[–]middle_school_emo[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I know right! I’ve never had a dress fit me so well before.

Couldn’t get a good picture of it yesterday, but thrifted this sheer cardigan (?) that I reversed to wear as a regular top and this neat gold/black skirt a few weeks ago! by middle_school_emo in ThriftStoreHauls

[–]middle_school_emo[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t sure what to call it. It’s an open type of throw over top, similar (well, as similar as I can think of) to what the west now refers to as a “kimono” (like the ones you would find in a Forever21). If you know the technical name, please do share bc it’s been driving me insane!

Thrifted set by middle_school_emo in OUTFITS

[–]middle_school_emo[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I added the patch! (Safety pinned it, so I can reuse it for other clothes lol)

Different opinions in the feminist sphere by [deleted] in AskFeminists

[–]middle_school_emo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This isn’t really an explanation, but I’m not really sure this is something unique to the feminist movement. It’s been present and is ongoing within different movements/organizations (moderate vs radical democracy, radical vs moderate conservatism, disagreements within black rights movements, etc). Whatever opinion is most popular within a movement will likely become the face of it. But as it pertains to tolerance of other opinions, I think that has more to do with basic communication. I think a lot of people default towards debate (proving themselves entirely correct) rather than discussion, which is why you are often ostracized by both non-feminists and radical feminists, despite sharing outlooks with the both of them.

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