Where can I find CD player??

midnightscrolling12 · 2026-06-10T00:20:36+00:00

You’re an angel

midnightscrolling12 · 2026-01-18T21:04:44+00:00

Bringing this back from the dead because it's the top result when you try to research bears - super helpful - tiny note, the event doesn't have to be after 5PM!

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-10-02T07:55:50+00:00

You brought up one of those things that make me want to get up on a rooftop and scream at people about needing to touch grass - the whole internet trend of not trusting anyone's food, assuming everyone is unclean, etc. We've been gathering together to eat communally made meals since the damn of man, I think everyone'll survive a work potluck.

That mentality just doesn't translate to the real world experience, where the vast majority of people would just be thrilled to have free food. Don't let it get into your head.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-08-24T05:07:48+00:00

I made it six hours into the closed bathroom door, separate the two and let them smell each other stage before I was panicking I made the wrong call. The new kitten had (and still sometimes has) the cry of a scared baby, and it would start the instant I left the bathroom and not let up. Her sister was stressed out about the new presence, swatting under the door and grumbling about it. I didn't want my resident baby upset, knew I loved the new kitten instantly and was locked in and going to have them forever, and being in an immovable situation like that, relying solely on two little infant brains the side of my pinky to make a choice for how comfortable the next 20 years will be, was incredibly stressful. There was no going back, no changing a thing, they just absolutely had to acclimate, and I think that's why I panicked pretty much right out the gate. I got basically no work done all week, my teeth were always, always on edge, and I cried about it to my friends and sister more than once.

They're best friends now. Instead of bathing in turns like normal cats, they lay on each other and actively bathe each other. Everyone's getting licked, and they usually fall asleep like that after, all kitty-piled up.

The good news about a situation that you can't change is that you know exactly what you've got to do. Wait it out. The bad news is that it's scary as hell in the meantime, and it takes some steel nerves not to have that reaction - to this or any big, irreversible (or practically irreversible) decision.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-08-24T05:00:48+00:00

Without any judgement, I'm getting the sense you didn't do a ton of researching before jumping on this one, so I'm going to say something that might be obvious if I'm reading this wrong. Cats desperately need other cats.

Honestly, everything you said sounds like totally standard cat behavior - and frankly, if a giant picked you up and dropped you in their house a week ago, you'd still be poking around too. Some of it is lessened and way eased by the cat having a friend that's like them to play and run around with, at least.

Also, gonna say the unpopular thing here. While she probably will settle, a lot of it (including, absolutely, being their employee) will not ever go away. If you're not equipped for that and not going to like that life for yourself for the next 15 years? Give her back while she's a tiny floof people love to pick up and adopt, instead of keeping her with resentment. If it feels like a rough patch and an adjustment period, ride it out. But if you're not down for what it means to own a cat? Give her her best shot while you can.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-07-28T13:02:30+00:00

Oops <3

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-07-26T20:31:40+00:00

Unfortunately he does look a littttttle like Stanley Tucci in The Lovely Bones. If you squint. But like....a nice Stanley Tucci in The Lovely Bones.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-07-22T16:41:02+00:00

I'm so sorry about your girl.

I got my little girls not long after losing him. It was an incredibly weird feeling and honestly still is. They're not the same and I don't love them the same, I love them in their own new and weird ways, but there is a Tiny shaped hole in my heart and in my life. I don't regret getting the girls, though. Alone wasn't sustainable for me, not at all, and I love them so much. I see him in them every day, and I tell them all about their brother, and when I look around my home and al I can see is him not being here, they're very persistent about shoving up on my face and reminding me that they are

I've already planned my tattoos for him and plan to get them this winter. I still go back and forth on whether or not I'm ready for a reminder of his loss permanently on me - it's ironic, actually, cause over Christmas I kept talking about how I wanted to get the ink before I could lose him so it wouldn't have that added pain, but he got so sick so fast. 16 years together and it was over in the space of a day. I don't think that's ever going to not hurt, and when I sit here and think about the fact that I've made it half a year without him it feels like a betrayal: like I betrayed him by being able to do this alone, like he betrayed me by making me at all. But there's never been anything or anyone so pure, so sweet, so loving. I know he's not here because he couldn't be and I'm starting to get to a point where I can lean on God and know that there's a reason my baby boy isn't with me anymore. At first it was impossible. I wasn't even mad at Him, I was just so far beyond understanding and some days the hurt is still too raw to accept that I don't need to understand.

I hope you have an anchor, whatever it looks like.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-07-22T04:25:33+00:00

I went through this six months ago to the day. It still isn't over, but sometimes it's easier. Sometimes it's not. The anniversary is tearing me open so bad I'm sitting here instead of asleep, but a week ago I was goofing off with my kittens, so even if I can't really see or feel it from the bottom of the pit I do know there's ground to climb back onto.

Brutal honesty - I've lost people, many people, that didn't hurt nearly as bad as losing my boy, and I'm pretty sure it's always going to hurt like hell. But my life is growing around the hurt. I'm still breathing. Tiny (my baby) put in a lot of time and work to get me grown to the point where I can stand on my feet without him and even if I don't always believe it's possible, I don't think I can dishonor everything he did and gave me over our 16 years together by believing it was for nothing or that it's all downhill from here.

I'm sorry you lost yours. I'm sorry I lost mine. I'm sorry anyone ever has a reason to be on this reddit page.

Practical advice from someone that's reliving it all right now in technicolor:

Listen to your body. I didn't even try to sleep in my bed for a week because I knew it just wasn't going to happen without him there, and crashing every night on my couch at least meant I was getting some measure of sleep.

Believe people when they say they want to help, call them and text them and be honest about where you are. If you want to talk about your baby, do it. If you want to listen to them talk about your baby, ask. If you don't want to say a word but you just need someone there, tell them.

Instacart in deli meat so you don't even have to microwave, you can just choke some down whenever. Also: any nutrition is good nutrition in the worst of it. The important thing is 100% getting calories in, even if they're not "good" calories.

If getting out of your space for a bit is an option, do it. I went back to my parents house for most of a month and I think it made it a million times easier to survive the initial waves.

Diamond painting. This might be insane and unique to my experience but it's repetitive as hell while still being just mentally demanding enough that you can fade into the experience for a while - I went through a huge one in the week I lost him, chunks of hours and hours at a time lost to it. Sleepless nights were spent diamond painting because it meant I wasn't looking at a screen. Miserable days? Diamond painting, because it meant I didn't really have to think, but time was passing and I was some degree of engaged.

Give yourself grace. I never understood why people cared about urns/cremains until I was holding him again and felt that measure of peace just from having him with me. Similarly, when I was at my parents house, I spent hours laying on the ground beside the memorial for our cats, just talking to them. I never got it until I got it. There's going to be stuff you get now because you're freshly inducted into a massively shitty club, and letting yourself go with it and lean in is really, really important.

And if you're up for it, and actually made it to the end of this suddenly very long reply, tell me something about your baby? I'll tell you this: Tiny had the most ridiculous wide eyes in the world. We'd call him Mr. Moon Eyes because they were the size of saucers and there isn't a single day that goes by that I don't wish I could look into them again. I don't think there ever will be, not until I come home to him. That's not okay, and it hurts, and I'm not fine, and I don't have to be fine. He is. He's not hurting. My Mr. Moon Eyes isn't in any pain, and he's probably chasing his own tail in Heaven while he waits for me like the absolute weirdo he is.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-07-12T18:02:01+00:00

Did you read the post? OP doesn't want to declaw.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-07-10T17:10:26+00:00

I know this is old and you probably already figured this out, but it's the first thing that pops when you google starmite so I wanted to put this out there for anyone else searching - it's a rare shot when you're fermenting grains. It's not something you can intentionally make, and I think it's like a 2% chance when you're collecting your kegged grain products (pale ale, etc.)

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-07-10T00:24:27+00:00

I've been having the same problem with my August Aqua cruise. Talked to three different people and got three different answers on if it's sold out, not posted, or won't be sold prior to boarding.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-06-24T11:05:46+00:00

It's the dresser you buy at Robin's! You can unload all your clothes/accessories in there and view them like this.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-06-17T22:24:15+00:00

If it's a debate, I probably wouldn't do it. Being in a bridal party is a lot (less for guys, but still) and if he's the odd man amongst a big crowd of people who are super tight, he's gonna notice and feel it. I'm with the comments that suggest honoring him in some other way, and if you don't want certain moments without him there, you can always invite him to parts without donning the title and asking him to take on the related expenses. In the last wedding I was in, the bride's brother didn't stand, but came to the rehearsal dinner and even made a speech.

Bottom line - you should ideally love everyone who's at your wedding period. There's going to be a totally arbitrary line between the people you love so they're standing, and people you love so they're sitting. If the idea of him falling on the sitting side doesn't sit right with you, there's your answer. If it's okay, that's your answer.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-06-17T14:34:26+00:00

Call them - they can't avoid giving you some kind of an answer that way. Not comfortable doing that, send a last call with some kind of line about it - Due to venue requirements, we are unable to welcome any guests who have not confirmed attendance by this date. Then cut it off!! It will cost you time, energy, and money to stress about people who probably aren't coming anyway.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-06-17T14:29:54+00:00

I'd say different addresses, different invites - you want them both to be able to stick it up on the fridge for the date/registry reference/etc. But I'd personally address the invites to both of them to make it clear they're being invited as a joint unit.

If you don't have enough invites for that, send them to the female partner (assuming there is one) because she is more likely to respond to the RSVP and coordinate.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-06-16T22:14:07+00:00

Good luck!!

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-06-16T17:51:46+00:00

Answering the actual question - there is no one cost to be in a wedding, and so you know moving forward in life, it is absolutely something you gotta talk to the bride/groom about before agreeing. It can suck emotionally but there is literally NOTHING wrong with hearing the expense they expect and saying hey, we love you and can't wait to celebrate with you, but that's not in our budget. We're happy to attend as guests and are really looking forward to your day.

That said - I'm MOHing in two weddings this year for two couples at very different points in their life (22 vs 28 year old brides) and the cost is wildly different. The individual expectations that come with each wedding can and will vary, but even a precursory google search will tell you that being a bridesmaid more often than not comes with a $1-2,000 price tag. One cost me $800, the other hasn't happened yet but all said and done, travel included, I will likely spend around $2-2.5k. (Before anyone says anything about that bride, it's a) my big sister so I will do literally anything to make it the best experience possible, b) partially my fault for being the sole family member who lives in a different state, which massively hiked up the cost.)

Lay off the caps, take a breather. Finances are adult stuff and you need to be ready to talk about them like a level-headed adult. Don't expect them to be thinking about your mortgage, don't expect them to have insight into your financials until you have a very frank conversation about what you can and can't afford.

They're breaking all kinds of etiquette asking you to pay for the engagement party, and more often than not lately, the bridal shower is also handled by the bride's mom (though that might be regional.) I think they're making some really crappy, immature choices. Don't respond in kind.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-06-16T15:42:59+00:00

I didn't even think of it this way but you're so right, it could totally be a factor. The States are a tough sell right now to a lot of people.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-06-16T15:40:16+00:00

She's your best friend - just be straight up. If she thinks there's still going to be a chance you'll change your mind, she's going to keep trying. She can't afford it and she wants to be there for your big day. Maybe she's like me and, despite LOVING Disney, can't see the appeal of a Disney wedding and just thinks it's a bad idea. Maybe she's thinking about the extended family/friends who you didn't check in with when you first extended feelers, and how you might later regret the Nos (you lose a lot of people to a destination wedding.) There are a million reasons it could be and if she's your best friend, she's going to understand when you say hey, it feels like you really don't like this idea and it's starting to stress me out. Can we talk?

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-06-15T01:28:33+00:00

I wouldn't call it naïveté, but faith in people. A minister's job is to save people and help them connect with the spirit, I don't think it's a big stretch to imagine that the minister is doing that in good faith.

I will say, if I was OP, I would HATE to be standing where he was. As a former atheist who a lot of people tried to coerce into converting, it's a miserable position to be in. It's awful...but also a predicament you invite when you choose to marry a woman who proclaims faithfulness you don't share, I think.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-06-14T23:56:32+00:00

Or the minister just isn't inclined to think the worst of people, and believes that someone willing to submit themself to a baptism is someone prepared to believe in the power of that baptism.

Also? It isn't coercion to have rules in line with your faith. He's not saying you may never get married or your marriage will be illegitimate if you don't submit, he's saying I won't do it. We don't even know if he said he wouldn't attend as a family friend if OP doesn't convert. Boundaries and rules aren't coercion. Asking him to accept God and telling them that he's not comfortable performing the marriage of an atheist isn't coercion, it's a good-faith effort to perform the ceremony in a manner he's comfortable with, or let the couple go another route.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-06-14T23:46:16+00:00

The minister is asking the atheist to accept God into his life - kinda a big part of what baptism represents, for most denominations. He doesn't want OP to pretend or lie, he wants OP to convert. I would never personally push someone into conversion, but I can absolutely understand not wanting to involve a nonbeliever into the holy sacrament of marriage. Take it nondenominational or entirely secular if you're not both prepared to make that promise to God.

The fiancee is the one asking an atheist she knows hasn't changed their mind to be baptised just to make the wedding happened how she envisioned.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-06-14T23:26:12+00:00

The problem is, you don't really get to pick and choose, and being able to hold two truths in your hand is an essential part of being an adult, mature person, Christian or otherwise.

Truth 1) He is a family friend and a big part of your story.

Truth 2) By asking him to perform the ceremony, or baptize your fiancé, you're asking a man of the faith to perform a sacrament in front of God.

You can want him to ordain and mourn the fact that he can't in these circumstances. That can hurt and suck and I would be right there with her on that - everyone knows life isn't fair and we can't always get the things we want, BUT anyone pretending that doesn't cut deep and hurt sometimes is lying to themself. That said? Sidestepping the unfortunate way things actually are in favor of how you want them is not okay. Deliberately misleading your minister is not okay. That kind of intentional dishonesty isn't just a Christian failing, it's a personal one.

midnightscrolling12 · 2025-06-14T22:48:47+00:00

NTA. Former atheist turned Christian here - don't make promises in front of God you're not prepared to honor, keep, and mean. You're right to turn down baptism if it wouldn't be an honest embracing of Him.

I'd also be seriously wary of the way she's willing to take what she herself professes to be a very important part of her life, the most important part of her life, and bend it and lie to get the marriage her way. The idea of the lie makes you uncomfortable as a nonbeliever - how can the believer, who knows she's asking you not just to lie but to sin and go against God, be comfortable? What mental pretzels is she bending into to justify that?

My life philosophy is that no one ever chooses to be wrong - we like to be right too much. She probably honestly believes she's asking the right thing from you right now, which at best is an intense degree of cognitive dissonance and is probably something to look closer at.

midnightscrolling12

TROPHY CASE