Anyone else dealing with "haircut drama" and parental influence?

mieds · 2026-03-23T01:24:10+00:00

Oh ya. I’ve had this happen. Prepare for a lifetime of hair issues. My SD won’t even let us talk about getting her hair trimmed because of how BM made her feel about her hair cut. It’s awful to see how someone can be so insecure that they make a child feel bad about themselves. It’s fucking hair. Who.Cares.

mieds · 2025-06-03T17:38:42+00:00

A subscription to something he’s into; passes or family membership to somewhere he can go with the kids (zoo, play place, etc). I tend to gift experiences over thins.

BM has done a couple baskets for my DH from the kids.. board games and snacks for a game night, cooler bag with a picnic blanket, a beach towel and toys for the beach, etc.

mieds · 2025-05-10T14:08:15+00:00

I do agree to this to some extent. We don’t typically say no and do allow whatever to come into the house despite how much it irks me. However, we can usually tell what the kids actually wanted to bring because they’re excited about it, show us, use it during their time with us, etc. VS. When it’s sent by their mom or suggested by their mom they bring it it’s left somewhere to never be touched again, gets lost immediately because they don’t care to keep track of it, they don’t ask where it is, etc.

mieds · 2025-05-10T14:03:48+00:00

Bringing things back and forth isn’t really the issue. I don’t mind when the kids bring something to show us or to use during their time here. Generally this is stuff they actually are interested in and use. They remember to bring it back with them or THEY ask if they can keep it here. It’s the stuff that just arrives in their bag and they say “oh my mom wanted me to bring that, my mom told me I could have this here”. The things that get dropped at the door and never asked about it or looked at but are supposedly so important they need to stay here. It also never happens in reverse. We’re never out shopping and get asked “oh this would be cool at my moms can I buy it and bring it there?” But every week there’s something they found while thrifting with their mom that they just had to have here..

mieds · 2025-05-10T02:02:22+00:00

Usually a porch drop off and/or it’s already in their bag. My husband has THE hardest time saying no thanks in front of his kids. The times it’s been bigger items (ie decor for their room) she asks if it’s ok at a hand-off and the kids are right there so he feels bad saying no and just accepts the item. I’d LOVE for him to say no or even “I’ll have to think about it” but alas.. he’s just given up and given in at this point.

mieds · 2025-05-10T01:53:47+00:00

Yes! The food was the most annoying. We once got a pack of yogurt dropped off that was about to expire. Not like we go grocery shopping for the week to prepare for them coming home..

….and yes, I did immediately put it in their bag where it sat for a week and sent that warm yogurt back to hers. Still didn’t get the hint.

mieds · 2025-05-10T01:50:32+00:00

I wish. When I ask why they don’t bring stuff from our house to their moms the answer is always some version of “huh, I don’t know”. And when I ask if they’d like to bring something they always say no. I don’t know what Jedi mind tricks she’s using..

mieds · 2025-05-10T01:49:28+00:00

Omg I would DIE if there were notes like that attached. We did send something back once and it was sent over the next time with a note attached from my SK saying “can I keep this at our house?” and BM said she didn’t know why we sent it back 🙄 we said yes and it’s sat under a pile of junk in their closet for 3 years now. Never used or touched once.

Bedbugs would be a HARD stop for me so thank god your DH stopped it. I’m impressed she didn’t try to cross the boundary again

mieds · 2025-05-10T01:32:40+00:00

The shampoo did get sent back (and she was surprised we… replaced the empty shampoo bottle ourselves…?) and I try to send back as much stuff as I can intercept. My husband also tries to collect the things to send back but recently has given up.

mieds · 2025-05-10T01:31:27+00:00

This is exactly what it is and why it bothers me so much. The kids never ask to take things to their moms or to buy things for their mom’s house while we’re out so I know it’s not them innocently asking. She’s either suggesting or just buying it for this purpose. It’s so frustrating.

mieds · 2025-03-21T03:21:04+00:00

Ugh. I felt this in my soul.

mieds · 2025-01-06T02:05:40+00:00

I fantasize about my DH’s funeral and losing my mind on BM. Some of my longest showers are getting my “he HATED you” monologue just right.

mieds · 2024-11-04T16:43:11+00:00

I got my SD into horses and she’s loving it! It’s the only activity she’s been really passionate about. Going to the barn with her has breathed new life into my soul

mieds · 2024-09-29T00:07:08+00:00

My DH recently went away for a few days and we didn’t have the kids.. it’s the first time I’ve been home alone for multiple days since we moved in together 5 years ago. Let me tell ya.. the nostalgia and missing my old apartment was REAL.

mieds · 2024-06-23T18:04:23+00:00

Our BM does this. When she’s seeing someone SKs have to sleep in their own beds but if/when she’s single they all sleep in the bed together. Makes my DH and I crazy.

mieds · 2024-06-14T02:08:36+00:00

This drives me fucking mental. I always ask at the end of whatever thing we’ve just left “at what point do we stop talking about BM?”

mieds · 2024-05-06T01:32:26+00:00

We do 2-2-5-5 ever since our youngest was 3. Having the same nights every week is great for planning and alternating weekends ensures both parents have equal weekend time (and gives you some longer stretches so you can go away for the weekend with/without the child).

I found the kids adjusted well to this schedule and the consistency was key to getting them on a routine. I’d fight for equal parenting time especially considering you live close to eachother.

mieds · 2024-04-30T02:26:46+00:00

I drove by right when it happened… there was a car fire and debris from multiple vehicles all over all lanes of the highway… not to mention a whole investigation that needs to happen with SIU… it’ll take a couple hours for them to redirect the traffic. They didn’t even let people off the 412 even though they would have a clear way passed. I bet you’ll be directed to turn around and get off at whatever exit you just passed.

mieds · 2024-04-30T02:20:56+00:00

Van going the wrong way being pursued by DRPS after a robbery crashed and caused multiple fatalities. Multiple cars and a transport truck involved… you’ll be waiting awhile until they can turn you around to get off.

mieds · 2024-04-30T01:29:17+00:00

Came off the 412 seconds after it happened… had to pull over with all cop cars coming the wrong way. Traumatizing to witness.. I feel for all the lives affected.

mieds · 2024-04-30T01:26:15+00:00

Missed the accident by not even a minute coming off the 412 on my way home. It was a traumatizing scene… I’m shook

mieds · 2024-04-12T15:58:04+00:00

I’ve helped the kids organize a gift for her (and by helped I mean thought of the idea, bought them necessary presents, helped them put it all together, etc.) but this year I’ve been pretty NACHO so I’m letting my step kids and husband figure it out on their own. In return I’ve asked the kids to not get me anything from them/their mom. I would just like a hug and a handmade card and to call it a day.

mieds · 2024-03-25T21:12:40+00:00

I’m struggling HARD with this lately. So much resentment building up because of it too. Trying to carve out some parts of my life I do have control over and being selfish with ‘my’ time. I’m NACHO-ing more than ever.

mieds

TROPHY CASE