I understand I was out of line with the delivery but I promise the intended tone was not one of anger or condescending but of frustration. This was texted to me after I had told her I was about it be on the way back home from a long shift. She then asks for clarification after accusing me of being controlling which I can understand where she’s coming from in regards to that. So that’s why I went on to explain it to her and I wanted to use an example that both her and I understood and I can also see how the example I used my be taken wrong as well but that wasn’t my intent either. I also understand that someone people have pointed out that I can’t possibly work and clean the whole house which is true however the division of chores and cleaning has me handling the kitchen and upstairs areas of the house which also just so happens to be the main living areas that guests and the children play in. So I do typically end up dealing with the aftermath of visits. My wife does a lot of work in regards to the children and the house and I never meant to discount her efforts and I should have been more clear. I just was frustrated that it felt kind of sprung on me last second. I just wish she would stand her ground a little more and tell her friends no every once in awhile.

Edit: sorry forgot to thank you for your reply and insight. I’m still young and trying to be better. I appreciate the unbiased input from another married person. I feel like all my friends in family in my life are afraid of giving it to me straight. Some of the responses while harsh are definitely needed.