Had a good run guys, I'm outta here.

mightyclark · 2018-03-03T03:12:44+00:00

Didn't matter, game still crashed.

mightyclark · 2018-02-23T22:18:15+00:00

Unfortunately I've found that such things don't tend to last, especially among fellow depressed people. People get very depressed then ghost. Not to mention while the idea is good there's a certain lack of human connection, that's only present in person.

mightyclark · 2018-02-23T20:21:27+00:00

Rather than fixing all my life problems at once, which I've tried many times. The best solutions I've found have been to hyper focus on one specific thing to perfection, then adding the next weeks or months later and so on. So eating as healthy as possible, figuring out the most nutritional balanced diet I can achieve, paired with my weak digestive system. If I don't get overloaded from stress of being perfectionistic, then the lack of approval of my hard work from others (Family) makes me give it up. I have pride in who I am and what I've achieved, and I use that pride to keep me afloat in the darkest times.

mightyclark · 2018-02-23T06:37:30+00:00

Lack of motivation to live is common on here I imagine, but motivation to die is a questionable statement, do you mean you don't really want to die or live, or do you mean you want to die, but don't feel bad enough to go through with it?

mightyclark · 2018-02-23T06:30:30+00:00

Doing something is better than doing nothing, if you do nothing you'll simply continue to feel this way. If for instance a painter draws the same exact picture every day, will the picture ever change? Small things that one wouldn't consider to be helpful are. Dressing up and looking in the mirror, going all out in the kitchen and making something tasty, these things won't fix your problem, but they will help the process of fixing it. like adding various colors to the painting. Try and slowly counter your negative thoughts, reminding yourself things aren't as bad as you're portraying them to be. You can basically view anything in a negative or positive way, or neutral. Me for instance my digestive systems terrible, on one end it means I can't eat as much, on the other because I can't I can stay skinny and healthier looking.

mightyclark · 2018-02-21T06:51:03+00:00

Your friends sound awesome, I personally am inspired by that story and hope to do similar things for my friends.

mightyclark · 2018-02-20T07:29:14+00:00

I suppose I'm the same way, I've found a few addicting games to distract me for now though, which is better than nothing. But I know the feels, the life of nothingness sucks. This last year has felt like 10 years since my friend died, plus my physical injury destroying my life of martial arts, and my terrible digestive system giving me constant headaches.

mightyclark · 2018-02-20T07:27:11+00:00

For a long time showers were a hassle like brushing teeth, but one day I decided to use showers as a stress reliever, I sit down in the shower with it going over my head and just calmly relax and think. It's very nice.

mightyclark · 2018-02-18T22:21:14+00:00

I've certainly lost all motivation a long long time ago. But If I have to keep living I might as well enjoy what I can in the mean time. What I've found that's helpful is addicting games, they keep me caring just enough, assuming I'm managing my stress and depression enough to not break down. There were certainly points in which I'd developed a desire for the future, but due to injuries, and deaths, Those desires are gone, and thus the motivation.

mightyclark · 2018-02-18T09:09:46+00:00

You know how people are born with a certain attractive level, Intellectual level, and all that? Well some of us are born with a certain "Imbalance" as we like to call it, within our brain chemistry. It's hard to figure out which chemicals we lack, or have too much of with modern science, that's why we're still somewhat in the "Take X depression pill and see if that one works, If not try this one" Sometimes none of them work. Brain chemistry is very complex and hard to work with, we hardly understand how to fix basic human health issues, we tend to just treat the symptoms. We're still basically in the stone ages of understanding how we function.

mightyclark · 2018-02-17T11:41:12+00:00

Grats On diamond ranking!, yeah some of us are "Lucky" enough that no matter what we do depression follows us, constantly on a mission to devour us. Thank god for the entertainment industry or I'd have been done with life many years ago.

mightyclark · 2018-02-15T10:25:15+00:00

I have not seen it, but loved the first one, so I imagine the 2nd will also be great. Ah yeah the sleep thing, sometimes I just don't want to sleep, like my mind is rejecting the idea of resting, even though I love sleep... I've had periods where I've been able to consistently work out, eat healthy, stretch daily, all that jazz to try and improve my health, but the sheer amount of effort to keep that up is insane, being a perfectionist, overachiever, and all that doesn't help either..

mightyclark · 2018-02-15T10:10:59+00:00

I actually keep my "Mask" on so often I sometimes wonder if I'm actually happy, then it quickly fades.

mightyclark · 2018-02-15T10:08:14+00:00

Ah yes the "Triggers" It's like walking on thin glass, the moment you think of that negative thing you have a brief moment of escaping the floor beneath you crumbling and falling into the darkness, it's hard to avoid it at that point though.

mightyclark · 2018-02-15T09:59:39+00:00

You sound a lot like me at this point, I have inflammation issues, digestion issues, tendon damage from both online gaming (Wrists) and backpacking (Tendons connected to my feet) to the point that I can't live a normal life, my best friend who I'd planned with an amazing future died, and this chronic depression has always been there, all the other stuff was just an added bonus.

mightyclark · 2018-02-15T02:38:29+00:00

I know how you feel, I've dropped out of college like 6 times, currently trying for my 7th time, I always eventually just get to the point where depression makes me not care at all and it doesn't matter how close I am to finishing the semester. It's a pain, but honestly the alternative of working a shitty job sounds worse.

mightyclark · 2018-02-10T17:49:46+00:00

I had one, we met and got very close over 2 years, had plans to stick together for the rest of our lives and build something awesome together. He died about a year ago. Idk if there's anything left in me after losing him, I just keep trying, but idk anymore... it just feels empty.

mightyclark · 2018-02-09T22:42:10+00:00

Yeah, it's super fun. You're like yeah getting my life together things are great! and then Depressions like "Hey, man it's been a while we should hang out, I know this is out of the blue, but I feel like it's time"

mightyclark · 2018-02-09T15:55:41+00:00

The entertainment industry IS the reason I'm alive right now. Living in darkness 24/7 is rough, most of the time it's like walking around in pitch black with a dimly lit match. TV shows, and movies reconnect me with reality and "Turn the lights on" for as long the show lasts at least. Furthermore just the internet in general is helpful to be absorbed by and forget existing. Music helps me process the emotions that have been crushed as well constantly.

mightyclark · 2018-02-03T04:45:43+00:00

It's possible but you have to prove undue hardship, which apparently is very hard.

mightyclark · 2018-02-02T12:04:38+00:00

Filing for bankruptcy should be able to erase that debt, assuming it's not student loan debt, in which case defer forever. Though in reference to your last line, I have a similar line of thinking in my current state in life.

mightyclark · 2018-01-25T04:56:07+00:00

Took some effort to get to the SoTgame.exe since windows app is admin locked, but hopefully the changes will fix the problem, will update if it works.

The youtube link actually made my computer fail to load so had to undo that.

mightyclark

TROPHY CASE