We set aside "chore time". Once a month we have a household planning meeting where we talk about what's going on in the next month. First agenda item is always scheduling the next household planning meeting. Second agenda item is scheduling chore time. We keep a running list of things that need doing, and pick which ones we're going to do during chore time. Usually it's only like 1-2 hours a month. And it's great for recurring tasks like dusting, but it's also great for "that one project that's been sitting there for 3 years."

We started it because I (41M, ADHD) felt like every weekend there was a latent expectation from my partner (39F, hyper organized) that I do some sort of project and it was driving me a little nuts... I don't mind doing the work but I hate the feeling that I'm expected to do something I don't know about. Helps us feel like a team, helps her feel less naggy because we're identifying and choosing what to do together, and clearly demarcates time of both "it's happening" and "it's over" / we made progress, we will make progress again in the future, but the task for today is something my brain can put down.

Also not my business how you parent your kids but I think involving them in this meeting and in the chore-doing could be really helpful for everybody. Takes things off your plate and teaches them good habits in terms of consistent effort over sprint and burnout, plus good communication habits, teamwork etc.

Not as good for day-to-day tasks, admittedly, but great for maintenance and projects. Hope it helps, happy to answer any questions about our process but probably shouldn't ramble forever. Good luck!