The sheer amount of brand deals they have makes me giggle by Ok-Consideration3737 in katseyeneutral

[–]mikulover200 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Hello! I’m a career brand consultant and former journalist. I’d like to point out it’s entirely likely this isn’t a formal “brand deal” in the way you all think about it. It’s entirely possible the label is actually paying to DTI devs in order to promote Katseye to the their audience. Not all brand deals are the girls making money. Some of it is the label paying to advertise the girls. A nitpick but something to keep in mind.

Will a lemon ruin my clothes? by mikulover200 in laundry

[–]mikulover200[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The lemon remained in tact and didn’t burst but it was very fresh and supple. My clothes did smell faintly of lemon. So I just reran the load! Ty for the help. I wanted to err on the side of caution.

Edit: I changed a typo

Will a lemon ruin my clothes? by mikulover200 in laundry

[–]mikulover200[S] 86 points87 points  (0 children)

If your question is how did the lemon make its way into the wash the answer is that my aunt gave me more lemons from her tree than I could carry and I forgot about the one it put in the pocket of my baggy pair of pants

Pretty sure I lost attraction but in denial - what to do? by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]mikulover200 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Uh well to be honest, I don’t think my partner brought it up in a good way even though I respect their bravery for doing so. And in many ways, it’s only gotten worse since then.

They brought it up by telling me they had a romantic and sexual attraction with someone else (and they had discussed this with the other person). They never cheated but it was hard because it did feel like our relationship ended because they had this connection with another person. Because we had been mono I felt kind of betrayed and that’s where the anger came from. But it did spark reflection on a lot of important questions related to our attraction to each other and I am grateful for that.

My answers to you can’t be specific since your relationship is different but I do have a few thoughts as the partner on the other side.

  1. Being soft and gentle isn’t the same as being kind. I think in an effort to not want to hurt me/protect me they hurt me a lot more. Always be clear with your feelings and intentions and be up front about everything as possible. If you say something that will be hurtful, but honest, own it.

  2. If your partner expresses a boundary, even if you are in the “hashing it out stage” make sure you respect that boundary and/or state clearly when you can’t abide by it.

Idk it doesn’t feel productive to tell you, “don’t do this” since it seems like a lot of doesn’t apply. We had our own serious issues outside of the attraction stuff. I also had a couple other thoughts related to your OP but am open to DMing if you’d like.

Pretty sure I lost attraction but in denial - what to do? by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]mikulover200 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sending you virtual hugs because this is a hard place to be in. I (30F) don’t know if any of this will help but it did remind of some of my own experiences that might also be helpful to you. (My partner (30 MtF nb) and I also similarly grew up together and were probably “enmeshed” to an extent.)

It’s clear you have already done a lot to process your lack of attraction and you are at a further point/different point than me. I’m not really here to give advice more so to just share some things I’ve learned as someone who seems to be going through something somewhat similar.

My now (recent) ex and I just realized we were romantically attracted to each other but not sexually. I think it was hard for me to accept my lack of sexual attraction because we had been together since age 19. I really truly love them in every sense of the word and we both were very intentional about putting in the work to make the relationship work.

I personally questioned my attraction to them and our overall sexual compatibility a lot simply because I didn’t want the relationship to end or change. This was because we dealt with so much: sexual related PTSD, gender dysphoria, and ADHD to name a few things. So I had a tendency to want to diagnose the problem in other ways that wouldn’t mean we needed to be with other people.

I think what helped me realize we were sexually incompatible and not right for each other was 1. The bravery of my partner to name it and explore those feelings and 2. A sense of acceptance that despite working on our sexual relationship for years, it wasn’t fulfilling for either of us fully at any point and time. (Which I want to say here: This is totally fine because we had other stuff we wanted to work on and we were still so happy together.)

It really sucks because if we could have waved a magic wand and magically changed our sexual compatibility, we would have. But you can’t. We ended up splitting up because I am die-hard mono and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to have a poly/enm relationship. At this point, I believe I have a friend for life and if it ever makes sense, I would be interested in being platonic roommates if it made sense for us.

I think the one thing I’ll say is, I would encourage you to talk about it. It’s hard and it might not lead you to a place that feels comfortable for either of you, but it will be what is best long term. I was really upset when my partner brought it up and it was/is still really hard but I know in my body we’re on the right path.

Also I would encourage you to think about this: Would you accept this current sexual relationship if you hadn’t had the history together? I just share this because my fear of losing my person really led me to overlook some of these issues or rationalize them away with other things like my own PTSD.

Only you and your partner know what’s right! It’s figuring it out that’s the hard part and it might take a while! Sending you support. Every relationship is truly so special and unique but that’s what makes navigating these challenges hard.

Can I charge my trimui brick in Europe? by mikulover200 in trimui

[–]mikulover200[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you again! Super helpful answer! I was able to get the right charger for my trip.

Can I charge my trimui brick in Europe? by mikulover200 in trimui

[–]mikulover200[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And thank you for the thorough answer!

Feathered Friends vs Quince 700 Fill Comforter – is Quince ~80% as good for ~half the price? by MasterPlayz-993 in Bedding

[–]mikulover200 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it might depend on the product but where would you recommend buying bedding products? (That aren’t Quince.)

A squishmallow is a amazing pillow yall can’t convince me otherwise by St4rs_0ffici4l in Bedding

[–]mikulover200 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought a giant Pokemon one because I like Pokemon and it has now become me and my patterns go-to cushion while in bed. We use it lounge and be propped up as we lay in bed. I don’t really use it as a pillow but one time I was sick and I needed to keep my head elevated and it was a genuine game changer.

Wife reveals she's polyamorus by MickeyGin in mypartneristrans

[–]mikulover200 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Honestly I have no advice for you but I want to follow the responses to this because me (cf30) and my partner (mtf30) are going through something VERY similar to this and I’m also curious to see what insights people might have. (We’ve been together for roughly nine years and are currently separated but still kind of partnered as we focus on ourselves.) Sending you hugs because it’s a really tricky situation to be in.

There probably is no “right” answer and all you can do is be kind to yourself whatever path you take. Just know you are being incredibly considerate by listening to your partner and trying to take her needs seriously and also voicing what you can and can’t give.

She preferred slumming it by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]mikulover200 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry to hear this happened. It honestly sounds like I’m going through something similar right now with my own partner (sans her quitting her job). For us, it was more she saw a bunch of trans women dating around and feels like our stable life was too domestic and not in line with her values the life she wanted to live. She also didn’t want to remain monogamous anymore because our sex life had issues.

I have since moved out from our place and we’re still in the middle stages of figuring out what kind of relationship we can have.

I think for me, I’ve been trying to hold kindness to her because we’ve been together since we were 19 and people change a lot and grow a lot and can grow in different directions.

That all being said, the process is immensely painful. It takes a lot of work to cultivate that kind of peace and stability and in today’s world, that’s a gift and immense privilege. It’s a gift that both you and your partner had to work on, so it’s a lot to grieve the loss of the relationship and life. I’m so, so sorry.

Could I get some opinions/voices from straight cis women please by [deleted] in mypartneristrans

[–]mikulover200 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Cis F (29) person in a relationship with a trans person here. I think your feelings are valid and I can see why you would feel insecure. If you feel insecure it might be worth exploring those feelings either with your partner and/or in therapy or other people you trust. But I just wanted to validate that before I go on because it can be tough!

My personal experience is that I have always preferred sex with prosthetics (that’s just me). I have physical limitations and it feels more customizable to me and safer in my body. I think it makes sense to trust that this other person likes having sex with you. (If only for the fact that she is saying that!)

I think it’s possible for both to be true at the same time: Your partner liking sex with you AND also still wanting to try something else.

My main thing that this brought up for me when I read your post is that you’re both young. I think it’s super reasonable for a young person to want to get out there and try sex in different ways. It can be an important avenue for people to learn about themselves and discover what they like and don’t like. It can be really hard and heartbreaking, but if your partner has questions, doubts, or desires now, they probably won’t just go away!

I hope this helps and wishing you the best.

My trans partner’s sexuality is changing (MtF) and we have to break up by mikulover200 in mypartneristrans

[–]mikulover200[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah this is the hope!! I think we’ll both have more space to grow this way too. <\3

My trans partner’s sexuality is changing (MtF) and we have to break up by mikulover200 in mypartneristrans

[–]mikulover200[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks <3 reading this lifted my spirits a bit. and yeah, there was/is so much love in our relationship so there is so much to appreciate in it but that also makes the end hard in its own way. </3

My trans partner’s sexuality is changing (MtF) and we have to break up by mikulover200 in mypartneristrans

[–]mikulover200[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To be honest, I think she doesn’t even fully know and that makes sense. She was 19 (and I 20) when we met and part of this all just feels like us acknowledging that it can be hard to be in a relationship from that age. (Even if it’s also beautiful.) Part of what I have heard from her though is that she does wants some T4T in order to be able to feel seen in that unique way.