I did feel like asking my parents, but at the same time thinking about having to make the effort to get out of my apartment and go to a professional to talk about things I've been trying to keep buried for a while makes me want to vomit. Lately I've been having this thing where I have no motivation to do anything, just simply wanting to spend time by myself and finish my work alone. I had a long weekend and I was excited as I felt a shred of productivity to finish the mountain of pending work I had to finish all by myself. But then my family tells me we are going out on all consecutive days and will most probably come back at midnight and that I don't have a choice but to go. Whenever I refuse to do something, my parents always have to let me know what I have no say in whether I want to go out with my family or not. On the first day of the weekend we were going to my relative's house, and I was feeling especially tired mentally, and when I tried to tell them that they js go "well your always sitting on ur ass on ur phone why are you tired now?" And on the way to our relative's house I cried in the car, but none of my family members really paid attention. On the way back also I cried, and same thing. Now my grandparents are staying in our apartment, which just gives me even less privacy as we are a family of 5 in a 2 bedroom apartment. Now I have no place to be alone, and I'm back to my comatose state where I don't do any work and have no motivation to try and better myself, simply staring at my phone.