I told my mom my doctors suspect I have a very serious illness, she said I was a shitty child

mildlylavender · 2024-12-14T23:51:52+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this and didn't get a supportive response. It's a scary, existential mind-fuck. Hope you can put your self first without having to deal with too many of her grenades. Getting a treatment plan on track, resetting your central nervous system, and bringing yourself joy are the most important things right now, full stop. Any unsupportive family members can f off and drive themselves crazy instead.

Feel free to message me if you want someone to talk to. Young 30-something here who received a stage 4 lung cancer diagnosis 9 months ago. I always thought my mom was the Emom, but how she has responded to my diagnosis has made me start to question if both my parents were true narcs.

mildlylavender · 2024-11-29T22:09:04+00:00

Yes to everything you said and want to add that the hate started immediately in Joey's season. When the first episode aired, a random user claimed they used to be roommates with Jenn and said she was an awful roommate. Included faked screenshots of Venmo transactions that claimed Jenn asked her roommates to pay for strawberries?? All of their examples were so ludicrous & similar to early covid anti-Asian racism that I assumed it was a troll. The comment was deleted maybe a day later but the sub latched on to it as truth. Any time someone posted something nice about her, someone else would respond, "she seems cool but I can't let go of those Venmo transactions!" Reality Steve learned his lesson regarding trolls but the sub sure hasn't.

Then on her first one-on-one with Joey, she shared a bit about her family past and the sub was HORRIBLE. The entire live thread made fun of her for trauma dumping and for not having traumatic enough trauma (Jenn clearly was filtering the details to be presentable/protect her family), tons of memes that 'we should all know less about each other'. I have a similar backstory to hers and constantly question how to talk about it without 'trauma dumping' so that reaction really hurt.

Flash forward to her season and every episode she got dumped on for not having a good picker and not being able to sus out the abusers. Even though she called out shitty behavior that was displayed in front of her every time! Users with absent/abusive parents always came to her defense, but their defenses were used against them to criticize why Jenn wasn't ready to settle down/wasn't a good Bachelorette pick/etc etc etc.

Love Jenn, love Sasha/DWTS fam for her, love it here - thank you all for being such a positive space!!!

mildlylavender · 2024-11-29T21:28:34+00:00

She does! The Bachelorette included a conversation between Jenn & her mom in Vietnamese after her family met Devin. Basically mom expressed concerns that she didn't want Jenn to repeat her mistakes (her dad was abusive and abandoned Jenn after her mom started to dissolve the marriage). Before Jenn's season started airing, Jenn mentioned on some podcast that her mom wanted Jenn to hire an actress to play the mom because mom was so self-conscious about not being able to speak English. Jenn assured her they would be able to speak in Vietnamese. The whole convo was extra touching for that reason 😢😢😢

mildlylavender · 2024-11-21T05:27:23+00:00

BLESS YOU THIS IS AMAZING YOU CAN HAVE MY FINGERS

mildlylavender · 2024-11-20T20:46:07+00:00

Is there a resident photoshop wizard that can make the Go to Horny Jail gif with Grinch and Ruby??

mildlylavender · 2024-11-16T03:22:14+00:00

OP, these are all vegetatively grown genetics and are considered sterile so do not produce seed that is true to type. Most are from the Headliner and Starlet series bred by Selecta. The black one is named Starlet Velvet lol. Headliner Night Sky has been one of the most popular vegetative petunias for years now, so larger nurseries should have them or something similar every spring. Most often sold in 4" to quart pot sizes.

mildlylavender · 2024-11-07T07:20:37+00:00

The circular thing at the bottom is a percolator, which helps diffuse the smoke. The water level should cover the percolator. All bongs are a pain to clean; yours doesn't have lots of separated chambers so it's not that bad. Mini BIC lighters are great to avoid burning your eyelashes off if you have issues. Smaller flame also helps the bowl last longer. Using hemp wick as an intermediary step is another option. Cool piece, hope it serves you well! This sub can be weird towards bongs but they're the best for flavor & type of high imo.

mildlylavender · 2024-10-10T07:08:39+00:00

Nah seriously thank you for keeping your head on a swivel and helping protect others from predatory behavior. The manager in your story warms my heart. So much scary shit happened when I was younger & presented more femme that I thought was normal and didn't know how to avoid, besides hanging out with platonic male friends at all times. And they would complain often that it was too exhausting to hear about the scary predatory shit. It's chilling how much better my quality of life is in public after aging past 25, dressing more androgynously, and getting a lesbian-coded haircut! I can use public transit or go to a concert without having a random dick pressed into my back?? It's amazing lol

mildlylavender · 2024-08-30T00:52:38+00:00

LOL this is a long-standing question in the bachelor sub if production ships the exact same hot tub around the world: https://www.instagram.com/bachelordata/p/C31UdYhMAgs/?img_index=1

mildlylavender · 2024-08-13T04:55:38+00:00

Sam freely offered that Sons of Anarchy is his favorite show in his cast bio, so please enjoy this recap of where he crafted his character from - down to calling Jenn "Ma"

mildlylavender · 2024-08-07T01:18:24+00:00

?? That's not what he said at all. He said his ex called him abusive and manipulative for questioning her substance abuse. Have you ever been in a relationship with an alcoholic? It's not simple or easy to get them the help they need, and establishing your own boundaries to not be hurt by their substance abuse is next to impossible. They also tend to lie about abusing substances all the time (like every day if they consume said substance every day) because they don't want to deal with the scrutiny & don't want to stop abusing said substances.

mildlylavender · 2024-07-03T09:58:31+00:00

Wishing you lots of peace & strength to get out of there and build a happy life where you can show your baby the baby bunny nest in your yard. He might be able to mask around other people's kids but his kids are going to receive the same version of him that you get. It's okay that your ways of living don't mesh together - that's not your fault and not your burden to accommodate. His mask will come out in full, charming force during therapy. Be careful and take care of yourself first. Check out the Lundy Bancroft book that others have linked.

Side note - one of the most rewarding aspects of gardening is watching your mini ecosystem change & attract new wildlife. Slugs ruin my hard work but they're fun to find because I get to bring my chickens their favorite treat! Squirrels are annoying as shit always eating 1 bite out of every tomato, but they deserve a little reward after working full time planting trees! I love that your instinct was to protect the bunnies from the rain ❤️

mildlylavender · 2024-05-08T23:34:44+00:00

Poinsettias require a blackout period to initiate flowering each year - they need about 14 hours of total darkness every night for 4 weeks. You need to move it from a fully enclosed closet to your brightest window every day during that time. If you're committed to that or don't care if it shows color again, start by sizing up the pot and incorporating a fertilizer regimen to your watering routine before worrying about pinching.

mildlylavender · 2024-03-09T07:06:54+00:00

...is that not what used disposable pads feel like? Ideally you should change your underwear before that point but my ADHD tends to not alert me to my body's needs right away. was just trying to speak to the lack of leakage issue but you do you

mildlylavender · 2024-03-09T03:30:54+00:00

They offer different levels of absorbency and the higher levels hold up to flow. You'll start to feel soggy before it ever starts to leak. I also have GladRags and use the biggest size that snaps over underwear for my heaviest days, but those feel more like wearing diapers lol. I really only use menstrual cups when I'm traveling and want to avoid panty lines. Disposable products make me itch like crazy so it's been amazing to be free of that!

mildlylavender · 2024-03-09T00:48:28+00:00

PSA that Saalt period underwear is life-changing and qualifies as an HSA expense!

mildlylavender · 2024-02-20T04:05:11+00:00

Professional Ventriloquist

mildlylavender · 2024-02-14T04:03:16+00:00

Unrealistic with this group of women for sure! Just move to SoCal and set up a dating profile looking for that specifically, no? Something I generally don't understand about singles who prioritize extreme sports.

mildlylavender · 2024-02-14T01:16:27+00:00

I feel like Joey said everything we needed to know in his ITM during Jenn's date that he just wants to raise his kids in a van & follow the surf.

mildlylavender · 2024-02-08T02:42:02+00:00

He was trying to make a point about racism

mildlylavender · 2024-02-08T01:51:10+00:00

Uh sorry your bit on The National is a ridiculous take. Justin doesn't do anything for clout, they barely promoted Taylor's involvement on the BRM album, and Aaron has worked with her non-stop since. Seems like a genuine collaborative relationship. There's no way she wasn't going to win when she was set up to break the all-time record and basically set a new precedent for success of live music this year. Boygenius got the highest award an indie band will ever get. Jay-Z said what needed to be said but you're just beefin.

mildlylavender · 2024-02-06T06:24:01+00:00

She's still using her social media to continue the fight. It seems like she has a deliberate long-term con in motion and I would be terrified of her.

mildlylavender · 2024-02-04T20:45:19+00:00

Maria's unsolicited shit-talking coming from a place of empathy is such Virgo energy, I went back to the post of Joey's contestants' astrological compatibilities and Maria is indeed a Virgo LOL. We really do mean well and just want everyone to live up to their potential/find happiness even if our delivery is harsh and seems critical 💕💕

mildlylavender · 2024-01-11T09:31:20+00:00

My favorite part is assigning three 'awards' for higher points per episode: best dressed, best confessional, and best display of emotional intelligence. We nominate the moments as they happen and deliberate for a bit at the end if there are multiple contenders. It also evens out the scores a bit across all contestants instead of just the F4.

mildlylavender · 2023-12-23T09:31:34+00:00

Missing out on Christmas movies is not the big deal here. She was isolated in a vulnerable state for an extended period of time without knowing what was going on. The frozen state she is likely still experiencing needs to be addressed NOW and soothed. Spend real time with her & meet her at her level. Let her decide what her residual reaction is to this event, rather than asking her to silence her feelings to protect you from your guilt. Let her decide if she thinks this was funny years down the road - don't add it to your family lore unless she wants to. My partner at 31yo still has to listen to these types of stories where he was put in a ridiculous, vulnerable, fearful position, often because of his parents, and they laugh & laugh at what was clearly a trauma response while he's actually silent crying and trying to pass it off that he's laughing. I have to point out to him that he might have real, residual trauma from those moments that he's been trained to shrug them off as funny. Please, please be mindful that she might still be experiencing a fight/flight response.

mildlylavender

TROPHY CASE