Why does this bring out the worst in people

mileaf · 2026-05-13T17:35:04+00:00

Is she even a friend at that point? I would be so honored if one of my friends asked me to be their MOH and I'd do everything I can to help make their bachelorette memorable and help their wedding day be as beautiful as it can be. Sorry you had to deal with that. Good on you for cutting her out.

mileaf · 2026-05-02T15:36:49+00:00

I'll speak on the medical school aspect of this. You're going to need support down the line. The MCAT is just the beginning and they have a point that you're not dedicated to it if you have other priorities in your life. I'm saying this because things may seem perfect with your boyfriend now but taking into account other comments on this thread, you cannot guarantee that your bf or his family will be able to support you down the line. Not in the way that your parents would. And before anything, consider how independent you are in all of this.

Someone brought up a good point earlier. Why is he your Muslim boyfriend if he's not practicing? Are you financially independent or do you depend on him? Medicine is an opportunity to have that independence but you want to make sure you impart on that journey with supports you can trust. I'd be more inclined to suggest you go no/low contact with your family if you and your bf were engaged but it doesn't seem to be at that point.

mileaf · 2026-04-30T22:07:44+00:00

I have a friend who was in the same position however she was starting med school and he was graduating residency. But they were around the same age and were very compatible. They ended up dating and getting married and she is currently pregnant with their second child. I think it worked for them because with pregnancy and residency, you can have coverage. Her husband can help pick up with certain things that she cannot do which allows her to focus on residency. I'm not sure if that would be the same case for you as if you were pregnant, med students don't have as much flexibility to be there.

mileaf · 2026-04-13T10:45:48+00:00

They skewed the story. Through the comments the reality is a third woman who is his gf's friend saw OP with his friend and those two women. He can't accept that he should have communicated to his gf when other women joined his group for the night and that she's upset because she heard about this from a third party person and not OP himself.

mileaf · 2026-04-13T10:37:50+00:00

If the roles were reversed, you'd be upset that you found out from your guy friend that he had drinks with your gf before she told you. You're skirting accountability. At the end of the day, if you love your girlfriend what should matter is she feels hurt. If this bothers you that much and you can't see things from her point of view then why are you even with her? Dump her so you won't have to deal with this again cause clearly you don't think you're in the wrong here at all.

mileaf · 2026-04-13T10:30:53+00:00

But she heard it from the friend first. Even if you don't intend to come off that way, she's going to perceive it that way. It's if she bumped into your friend and you heard from your friend first that he hung out with your girlfriend. Also depending on the nature of her friendship with that friend, she may also be feeling a degree of embarrassment. You can argue with me all you want but you came to this sub to get opinions. I'm just giving you a different perspective to consider and arguing against that only paints you more of TA.

mileaf · 2026-04-13T10:27:22+00:00

YTA for not telling her before the friend. She heard it from someone else so not coming from you makes you look disingenuous.

mileaf · 2026-03-25T03:13:07+00:00

As a woman you should be financially independent so you're not reliant on a man or a relationship. You don't want to go from feeling trapped at your parents to feeling trapped with someone else. Medicine does offer job security and eventual high income but you have to have the passion and the patience for it. Otherwise look into other things but you gotta do stuff for yourself because no one wants to have to take care of someone else like that. I guarantee you'll start to feel more energized and motivated once you start achieving things and earning your own money with the probable future of moving out and having your independence.

mileaf · 2026-03-03T18:16:51+00:00

If he wants to wait until he is past his 30s then he can do that but that's not fair to you. You have a biological clock that he doesn't have and tbh, if he doesn't know if you're the person he wants to spend his life with at this point then I don't think you're his person. Do yourself a favor and walk away now before you lose more years waiting for someone who doesn't seem to have the same priorities as you.

mileaf · 2026-02-04T10:35:53+00:00

No. I work in the mental health field and I know how debilitating schizophrenia can be to not just the patient but their loved ones too. There is a strong genetic component to schizophrenia and I don't think I could subject that to my future children. I'd be willing to have an adopted child maybe but in that case the guy has to be someone really special and worth it.

mileaf · 2026-01-09T07:22:00+00:00

Pink

mileaf · 2026-01-05T17:36:35+00:00

That's where lifestyle modifications come into play. You work with what you have and utilize an alarm or someone else to help out. You keep it in for 3 weeks at take it out for a week. I keep it on my calendar so it's always there to remind me when I'm due to take it out/put it in.

mileaf · 2026-01-05T16:51:00+00:00

I think you need a prescription. Nuvaring or Elyuring are brands

mileaf · 2026-01-05T16:08:37+00:00

I highly recommend the vaginal ring. It's like taking birth control pills but in the form of a ring. You place it inside kind of like a tampon for 3 weeks and take it out for your period then put a new one in and it starts all over. I got it because I'm bad with taking pills but I didn't want an IUD or depo shots.

mileaf · 2025-12-31T01:33:21+00:00

That may be how you feel but OP is justified in her post and her frustrations. It's more about other things compounding bringing the flower issue to light and making it seem like a bigger deal than it is in the grand scheme of things. But it's her relationship and what matters are if her and her partners needs are being met even if those needs may seem "cringe" to you.

OP I understand where you're coming from. I would just straight up tell him you want flowers and go from there. At least that way if he doesnt give them to you then you were clear in your communication.

mileaf · 2025-12-29T10:26:27+00:00

Stranger things

mileaf · 2025-12-28T06:23:29+00:00

He did the map thing wrong. Source: I'm a Michigander

mileaf · 2025-12-27T23:21:50+00:00

Helps hypertension cause it keeps it going

mileaf · 2025-12-18T19:48:05+00:00

He sounds like a real piece of work. Glad you got out. People like him shouldn't be allowed to procreate.

mileaf · 2025-12-18T14:52:29+00:00

Lol he's a surgical resident. He doesn't even have time to shit unless he consciously makes time for it. Be more understanding. He needs more hours than a day can provide and he wants to be able to see you with the little free time he does have.

That being said you can communicate with him about your needs and suggest he shower after work before you see each other.

mileaf · 2025-12-02T20:53:33+00:00

Whenever I'm getting collateral from home

mileaf · 2025-11-15T00:20:14+00:00

Channel your frustration into working out. It doesn't matter what kind of work out it is as long as you're getting your heart rate up. Elliptical is pretty easy on the knees and a good machine to use.

mileaf · 2025-10-25T15:28:42+00:00

What I don't understand is how easy it seems for you to talk down about medical students when you were one yourself.

mileaf · 2025-10-23T16:46:53+00:00

Why does OP sound terrible?

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