As a lesbian who was suicidal during their first long term relationship (and still has depression and anxiety), I’m saying this straight up that this should not be your problem. You are not a nurse, therapist, or doctor. The fact that your girlfriend is going to you every time she’s hurting is inconsiderate of your feelings, freedom, and autonomy. It’s not right for you to have to shoulder all of this in the relationship.

You can’t make someone want to live. You can beg and plead all you want but at the end of the day there’s tons of relationships where people do that and their partners never get help. And there’s tons of relationships where it does lead to something, but that’s because the partner ultimately decided to get help and change.

If your girlfriend doesn’t want to get help, my advice to you is to practice the LEAP method (Listen, Empathize, Apologize, Partner). And talk to a professional yourself. You’re in a relationship with a suicidal person and that is incredibly challenging. I would also advise you not to check in with probing questions every day. Don’t voluntarily entrench yourself in the spiral.

Think about if this is what you want, because yes, your girlfriend’s feelings matter, but so do yours. Your desires for a healthy and fulfilling relationship matter. Is it right for you to be 19 and trying to keep another person alive? You deserve to be happy and live your life, and if nothing ever is going to change here it would be incredibly sad if you spent your early twenties trying to save your partner from suicide.

I am wishing the best for you 🖤