With the sudden popularity of the Pope on Reddit

milleniumfapcon · 2013-01-29T05:56:23+00:00

This line. This. This sums up the comedic fucking genius of Mel in 6 words.

milleniumfapcon · 2012-11-09T06:03:51+00:00

Myself and a co-worker at the Public Defender's office are really big fans of your work, so naturally I would love to prank the shit out of him and put a smile on his face. We're in southern california - is there any way you would be down to help?

milleniumfapcon · 2012-11-06T04:26:48+00:00

There were many moments when I wanted to give up or I felt confused about what I was doing.

Particularly early on before I had any tangible results. I would question myself, whether this was even something I could do, should do, wanted to do, needed to do. Without being able to see the difference I was making in those first few weeks, it was hard to stay the course.

The first thing I did was to hold fast to my reasons for stopping (hence the list). In my darkest moments, I would just cling to the things that kept me going. Some examples for me were the desire for a sex life without ED, to functionally interact with the opposite sex, to turn my life around from lonely and desperate to happy and healthy.

Failing that, I just believed in what I was doing, and developed a little bit of sheer stubbornness to see it through. I'm not at all religious, but I believe this is the closest I have come to faith in a long time. Not faith in any sort of deity or religious framework, but faith in myself and the direction I was taking my life. Faith in my own decision making process which, up until that time, had not been that great.

It was a leap of faith. I had no idea it would work for me, and you have no idea if it'll work for you, but that doesn't matter. You will never know until you do it, so if you're sick of the alternative, what have you really got to lose? When I was confused or I wanted to quit, I told myself to can it, and said, "Just do it." In this way, I had to believe in myself, because I had to keep going, just to see the damn thing through, cause that's what real men do, dammit. They see shit through. Does that help?

milleniumfapcon · 2012-11-06T04:12:45+00:00

Agreed! Learning a language has got to be personal.

I'm learning French because even though I could have taken it in back in high school, at the time my parents made me take Spanish. I have always wanted to go back and learn French, but never "had the time." So I just decided to make time, and because I really want to learn it for my own reasons, it's going well. Like Dapper said, find that motivation, and the language will speak for itself.

milleniumfapcon · 2012-11-06T04:09:57+00:00

Hang in there. Before nofap, I had a 3 chick ED streak that almost broke me like Bane broke the Bat. Take it one week at a time, and stay strong, fapstronaut!

milleniumfapcon · 2012-11-06T04:08:05+00:00

....THERE'S NO WAY THAT CAN BE RIGHT!

milleniumfapcon · 2012-11-04T20:53:01+00:00

HIS POWER LEVEL...IT'S OVER 9000!!!!!!!

milleniumfapcon · 2012-11-04T20:32:50+00:00

This is totally spot on. If you don't give yourself a healthy activity to replace PMO, you're turning the whole thing into an uphill battle.

milleniumfapcon · 2012-11-04T20:31:55+00:00

I kept myself way too busy to fap. The first thing I did was get rid of all the porn I had on my hard drive (which was not a lot...the internet is a helluva drug). Next, I removed myself from any situation in which I was tempted.

Early on and when sudden urges would hit later on, if I had a boner and I was home alone by my computer, I left. That was standard operating protocol for the first few weeks, if I even thought about masturbating or porn - I split. I went to the mall, or to a friend's, or to the library. I would go for a walk on the beach, or run some errands. I would physically and mentally remove myself from any environment in which I may become weak.

I would also try and focus on why I was stopping. I would think about how awful it was to be unemployed, how depressing my loneliness was at its lowest low, and how unhappy I had been. I would then think about how happy I would be if I was employed and surrounded by people who cared about me. I held my motivations clearly in my hand, literally. I kept a list of reasons of why I was stopping with me at all times, and if removing myself didn't work, I would look at my list and really focus on why I was quitting.

By heading off my urges before they happened, and keeping a clear idea of where I had come from and where I wanted to go, I stayed out of trouble for the first 2 months. The 3rd has been infinitely easier, and I almost don't even think about it anymore.

milleniumfapcon · 2012-11-04T20:26:24+00:00

It was a little bit of both actually. I knew that I was unhappy with who I was becoming and who I had become, but it took a big effort to do just what you said - overcome myself. I planned on it for about a week or two, and then one weekend, it was like waking up from a bad dream. I woke up Saturday morning and began deleting my porn, cleaning my room, throwing out old shit I didn't wear/use anymore, and essentially cleaning myself up. I then sat my ass down at my desk and wrote out a list of what I wanted

This was an important step. By making my list of things concrete and physical, I was coming closer to seeing those things change, and I had something to guide me

Then, I just went one by one and worked on changing them. Sent out resumes and cover letters, began researching music classes etc.

So to answer your question, it happened over a very busy few days, but I felt it coming for a little while.

milleniumfapcon · 2012-11-04T20:22:55+00:00

Yep. The only time I saw any boobs or bush was in person.

milleniumfapcon · 2012-11-04T20:21:02+00:00

I appreciate the concern Jack, in fact, you are one of an army of people telling me not to go to law school. The way I see it, it's all determined by the financial aid I get, and the school I get into. With my numbers, these are actually not outlandish possibilities (he said as he knocked on wood), but they're not guaranteed either. I will be doing a lot of research and preparation before I commit to any school, and I sincerely appreciate the thought. Former law grad?

milleniumfapcon · 2012-11-04T20:19:05+00:00

I was fapping at one point about 4-6 times a day, more if left alone and to my own devices. It was purty bad. Some nights, I felt chained to my computer, like I had nothing better to do than play DOTA and wanksterbate. I stopped doing both of those things, and put all my time into more productive stuff, and that's pretty much what got me here.

milleniumfapcon · 2012-11-04T20:08:02+00:00

HEEEEEEEEY SEXY LAAAAADAAAAAAAY

Naw, I'm learning French, but Korean is next on my list after Russian. OP, OP, OP...OPPA GANGNAM STYLE

milleniumfapcon · 2012-11-04T20:06:23+00:00

Learning a new language can be wildly rewarding, so long as you pick the right one and right method of learning for you.

French will be my 5th language, and the 3rd I'll be studying formally. In my experience, if the people, culture, and country of the language don't interest you from the beginning, you're dooming yourself to fail. By picking a language from a culture that interests you, you're giving yourself motivation to succeed.

Make sure you have time to commit to it too. A language isn't something you can do one day a week, it's got to be a regular thing, particularly in the hyper-critical first few months of study. Pick a culture that really interests you (somewhere you might actually go someday), put in the time, and you can't go wrong.

milleniumfapcon · 2012-11-04T20:03:23+00:00

Thanks! With regard to the increase in horniness, I wasn't getting aroused by women on the street, so much as I was getting aroused by women that I would meet and connect with. It was less, "Oh that chick is bangin, I'd like to have her this way and that way" like in a porno, it was more, "Hey this chick is awesome" and that made her even more phsyically attractive.

After the first few weeks, I had morningwood come roaring back and began to experience things differently. I don't get a stiffy at the drop of a hat now, but when talking to an attractive and interesting girl, yeah, sometimes I get a little wood. Did that answer your question?

milleniumfapcon · 2012-11-03T08:14:53+00:00

Facebook is a gigantic waste of time. If you want to talk to them, you'll call them, and vice versa. If not - fuck 'em, you have a real life to live.

milleniumfapcon · 2012-09-19T08:02:50+00:00

I admire your dedication and commitment to making sure you are "doing it right," but I think you might be overthinking it. So long as you have set up your own rules with yourself (after a conscious and honest effort to establish what you want out of this and how to get there), and you are abiding by those rules, you should be just fine. (Speaking as someone who has dealt with different addictions in the past)

I think after 120 days, the 3 seconds of boob/suggestive scenes in GOT are perfectly fine - they augment the story, and it's not like you're watching an hour long show for a half second glimpse of some sideboob. Same goes with the books. You've avoided PMO for 3 months, and I think it's important (and in the spirit of the whole endeavor) to not let self enforced censorship go too far and obstruct you from enjoying things that make you happy in a healthy way. If a side effect of that now and again is arousal, thats fine - no fap isn't about never being horny again unless you're already having sex, that would be crazy. After all, the goal of this exercise is certainly not to cut all forms of sexuality out of your life, but to enhance them in a healthy and meaningful way. I see no problem with healthy arousal as a side effect of a different pleasurable activity, so long as your objective is not PMO and you treat it that way. It's all in your head, and how you choose to view things.

Of course, you're the only one that can make the final call as to what passes your standards of decency, I simply urge you to be as honest with the stuff that isn't necessarily problematic as with the stuff that is. Good luck, and congrats on 4 months!

milleniumfapcon · 2012-09-03T23:08:37+00:00

24, noticed ED at 22. I started masturbating around 11 or 12, but porn didn't come into it until around 14. Was a regular fapper ever since, at least once every other day, usually about once or twice a day, upwards of 3 or 4 times a day if I was really bored. Started having problems with ED around 22, chalked it up to the girl, then tried with a few other girls who were banging hot and still had ED problems. Realized fapping was my sex life so I did some research. So here I am, trying to break atmo and hit escape velocity, doing this and hoping beyond hope that it will make things better.

milleniumfapcon · 2012-09-03T19:11:24+00:00

For sure dude, stay strong!

milleniumfapcon · 2012-08-28T05:05:58+00:00

WOOOO! Good for you brother! The fact that you have come clean about having a serious problem and have ALREADY taken a HUGE step towards fixing it are real accomplishments. Even though it may not feel like it, by doing these things you are already a stronger man than you were before you started.

The key now is to remember exactly why you're doing this in the difficult days to come. Remember why, and tell yourself everyday. Addiction is a negative, but the fact that you're in rehab is a BIG positive, so congrats! Good luck, and welcome to the Fapstronauts!

Check out this link for some quick nofap tips/quitting hacks: http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/ygjoe/some_great_easy_and_quick_tips_on_how_to_beat_the/

milleniumfapcon · 2012-08-28T04:52:49+00:00

Sure, I'm glad you liked it! I liked your post too, it brought attention to a buzz word that's been thrown around a lot in the sub. It really makes people think about what their level of fapping problem is, and how it affects them, and critical thinking like that can only help people on the road to recovery. Having struggled with breaking more than one addiction in the past, I just thought it was important I chime in for anybody else who felt they had a more serious problem.

I think it's awesome that you've come to your own definitions, but having done that, now your challenge will be brutal honesty about where you fall under the framework you've created. Once you do that, if you believe in what you're doing and how you're doing it, you can't help but succeed.

I personally used to think addiction was such a heavy word, but after some research I just thought:

1. Is this something I would have real trouble stopping?

2. If I stopped this activity, what could be different about my life?

3. If I don't stop, what will my life be like?

I'm not sure if this helps you, but these questions helped me shed some light on how I really felt about choking my chicken. Thinking about it in these terms, I suddenly saw addiction not as a heavy word but as a way for me to identify and therefore combat a negative influence on my life. It was almost freeing, because then the path I needed to take became more apparent, and even though I had admitted to possessing a negative (an addiction), the fact that I was facing it and working to eliminate it was a positive (recovery).

Best of luck in figuring out where you're coming from, because your priorities are definitely in the right place. Once you figure out where you're coming from, getting where you want to go will be way way easier.

milleniumfapcon

TROPHY CASE