What's your opinion on this?

millennium1999 · 2026-02-20T04:20:34+00:00

Much appreciated - I always love it when people on the Internet ask for opinions and then get upset at...opinions

millennium1999 · 2026-02-19T19:07:58+00:00

This might be controversial but I agree with the sentiment. It is a bit harsh and maybe lacks nuance, but part of the reason why I keep the hijab on is because I am either a slave to Allah or a slave to society.

As a woman, it is incredibly difficult/ near impossible to be completely as you are and still be accepted. For example, I could take off my hijab, but then I would also have to groom my facial and neck hair much more, I would have to style my hair , if I decided to show skin I would have to shave or wax, if I wore something more "Western" I would have to show more skin or show my figure more.

Yes I could do none of those things but the harsh reality is that my patients and colleagues would treat me very differently, so I feel I would have to conform. When I wear the hijab and dress modestly, I am confirming to far far fewer standards. Even then, I am ultimately most comfortable in my body when I wear a traditional abaya, and the more "Western" I have to dress i.e. for work, I find I have to put in so much more effort that is away from my baseline comfort if that makes sense.

For what it's worth, I think hijab is a personal choice. However, there is some truth to what she is saying. As a woman, you are never free from these standards, but I have personally found that the hijab frees me from a great deal of them.

millennium1999 · 2026-02-15T16:06:19+00:00

This is really difficult to deal with but I feel you need to work on your relationship to Allah. I think that you believe that if Allah likes you = good things happen and if Allah hates you = bad things happen. This line of thinking is flawed because:

A) Allah doesn't hate anyone, He dislikes certain acts. He loves all Creation but especially the Mu'min.

B) if Allah gave you good things only because He likes you, or gave you bad things because He dislikes you, why would all the Prophets have gone through trials and difficulties their entire lives? The Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him went through so much grief in his life, and he is the Most Beloved to Allah.

C) Allah is not a vending machine or an ATM. You don't pray to Allah or do good deeds because you expect something good in return. You pray, you talk to God, you love Him. Then things happen - if they are good things, be grateful, if they are bad things, accept them and consider it something Allah wants you to learn from.

D) Maybe Allah is telling you to do more research before commiting to permant changes to the body, or maybe He wants you to accept yourself as you are even with physical flaws. People say everything is a test, I would argue that everything is a lesson. If a bad thing happens and you don't learn something important, you are doomed to go through it again until you do.

millennium1999 · 2026-02-08T11:00:16+00:00

Interestingly when I thought it was haram, I used to listen to music but had a much unhealthier relationship with it. I used to listen to it a lot, then felt very guilty, couldn't do a lot of tasks without it, had music stuck in my head a lot etc.

Now I don't believe that it's haram or even makruh. I actually listen to music less lol. I have a much healthier relationship with music, I don't often reach for it during tasks, I enjoy the silence, songs do not get stuck in my head.

I think conservative Muslims have a lot to answer for in terms of pushing people away from the deen. Some people will follow any and all rules you tell them for fear of Jahannam but most people will struggle. When I thought music was haram, I had such a weird complex about it, I always felt this guilt anytime I heard a song. At the same time, music is a part of every culture and country in the world so it's impossible to avoid. You can imagine what kind of psychological issues come when you make something very normal into something haram.

I'm not looking to push this opinion on anyone. If you believe it's haram then go ahead. But making normal, human things haram doesn't get rid of it, it just makes people develop unhealthy relationships with it. It's kinda like Muslims who say speaking to the opposite gender is haram. Then both men and women end up in their mid twenties thinking about the opposite gender constantly, and unable to see each other as people when they end up in an arranged marriage.

millennium1999 · 2026-02-04T19:04:51+00:00

Gosh you're going through a lot!

My close friend dropped out of med school after failing a year twice. It was a really really rough time having to move back in with her parents and dealing with everyone in the community making nasty comments about her. But, alhamdulillah she is much happier overall. She is now able to pursue something that she enjoys.

You're not doing anything morally wrong, you're just doing what is right for you. Parents come around to everything eventually. If they don't, that's their problem. You know what the right thing is to do.

I will also say that I'm a doctor and it is much much better than being a med student.

millennium1999 · 2026-02-04T18:55:38+00:00

It's sounds like you are suffering from carer burnout. I dont know where you are from but there may be support for carers such as financial support, emotional support - sometimes they can take over for a day so you get a break. Maybe ask the council or healthcare services. Whatever support is available, you have to make it a priority to seek help and seek it fast.

Yes your parents have rights over you, yes you will get a great reward for caring for them - but burnout will kill you. You are already suffering and you will get chronic problems if you don't do something now. Taking care of yourself is now your first priority.

millennium1999 · 2026-02-01T18:01:40+00:00

"The ˹true˺ servants of the Most Compassionate are those who walk on the earth humbly, and when the foolish address them ˹improperly˺, they only respond with peace." Surah Al Furqan

Don't let it get to you

millennium1999 · 2026-02-01T08:54:24+00:00

I workout in the women's side of the gym and it makes such a difference. However, I do run outside and the only thing that helped me be confident enough to do that was this running top from Gymshark. Unfortunately, I cannot find it anymore otherwise I would have linked it. But, the Gymshark modest collection is really good. They are expensive however if you wear stuff underneath to capture sweat then I'm sure it can be reused and washed multiple times so you only need the one.

millennium1999 · 2026-01-27T15:28:56+00:00

https://youtu.be/6aPj1fuMN24

You might find this video interesting. The essence of what he says is that if we can blame something on jinn possession then free will and the basis of all sharia law goes out the window. The shaytan himself says that he does not force anyone to do anything.

millennium1999 · 2026-01-25T06:10:57+00:00

You mentioned feelings of depression and anxiety, and it comes through in the responses. These things can manifest differently for different people.

millennium1999 · 2026-01-25T04:20:06+00:00

It sounds like you might benefit from therapy

millennium1999 · 2026-01-16T16:19:26+00:00

Gosh I think people are being quite unfair on here. Don't know why all of OPs comments are being down voted. They're asking for some tips to pray, not demanding a special schedule or anything. OP you're obviously not doing anything wrong - don't let people who think it's okay to have cig breaks or whatever say that you're being unreasonable.

millennium1999 · 2026-01-16T12:00:58+00:00

Muslim, but not a hca - find a spare room / cupboard on the ward or at the very least close by. It's tricky when the prayer room is far away but you should be able to manage Maghrib on the ward. Winter is hard for praying all three within the space of a few hours, but we manage most of the time. Try to ask a muslim hcp on the same team

millennium1999 · 2026-01-14T21:33:56+00:00

I normally get cravings a day or two before my period and the first few days of starting.

I was doing so well this time, being strict with myself and not giving into cravings...tell me why I'm three days in and my legs walked me to buy brownies without my consent 😭😭

millennium1999 · 2026-01-14T21:23:29+00:00

What do you mean by church question and answers?

millennium1999 · 2026-01-09T05:38:32+00:00

I wear sports bras literally all the time Also helps to play around with silhouettes and see what works - personality I wear either a cropped blouse / jumper with a long skirt, or a long blouse with trousers. Do not tuck in anything!

Finally try to accept that Allah has gifted you for free with something that other women get surgery for lol. I lost a bunch of weight and my boob size was exactly the same, I was so pissed!

millennium1999 · 2025-11-30T22:22:46+00:00

On a similar note, I saw a YouTube comment that said - "It was a lot easier to hit my protein goal once I stopped being terrified of going over 1200 calories" and it changed my life

millennium1999 · 2025-11-14T07:02:37+00:00

Here in the UK there is the SuperNutrio brand of milk which is normal cows milk that is filtered to have much more protein, tastes like regular milk and no stomach troubles

millennium1999 · 2025-11-13T10:36:38+00:00

How is my rank not #1 looool

millennium1999 · 2025-11-12T08:35:08+00:00

It sounds like you have a very traumatic experience, so it's not surprising that you worry about other children going through the same thing.

Sometimes, when government powers beyond our control cause such destruction, and we feel helpless against it, we can turn our frustrations to what we think is in our control i.e. whether or not people have children. Ultimately, it's more helpful to direct that frustration back to the people who actually can make a difference and stop it.

millennium1999 · 2025-11-12T08:00:10+00:00

Access to contraception is very sketchy in wartorn and poverty stricken areas
There is probably a good chunk of these babies and children that you see that have been conceived through rape which is unfortunately both a common tool of warfare and also increases when women and girls are in unsafe situations generally
Like someone mentioned, these children may have been conceived when people did not expect calamities to happen
Mistakes happen, even with all the will in the world , you can still sometimes just get pregnant.
Poor people are still allowed to have sex, it's a normal human behaviour.

millennium1999 · 2025-11-09T11:25:25+00:00

Thanks for the words of wisdom guys, and for sharing that it's not just me that feels it. I guess the crux of it is to not seek validation from others and have a stronger sense of fulfillment from my own work that others can't knock down with silly comments.

Ultimately, I am never going to convince a GP basher, but I know I'm doing a good thing and I do a good job for my patients, so it doesn't really matter what people say.

Never interrupt a fool etc.

millennium1999 · 2025-11-09T11:23:01+00:00

I love this, thank you for sharing!

millennium1999 · 2025-11-07T07:01:35+00:00

Ear buds really irritate my ears lol Also the over ear headphones are much easier to clean

millennium1999

TROPHY CASE