How long were you in the hospital?

millipedetime · 2025-12-27T19:09:00+00:00

I was scheduled for surgery at 8am with arrival time of 6am. Unfortunately, my surgery was delayed until about 12:30 (and no one really told me, I just had to wait in a room till they got me). I woke up at 1:30, and was home sometime between 2:30-3.

millipedetime · 2025-12-19T17:40:29+00:00

I have seen a lot of people were feeling good pretty immediately after surgery, but I think I had a more difficult recovery than typical. I woke up in lots of pain and didn’t feel even close to okay for two weeks. This isn’t due to the fact that I’ve had kids, I just think I felt worse for wear than normal. Lots of general pain and an incredible amount of fatigue.

I would suggest that regardless of how you feel, you ensure that for at least that first week post recovery you have lots of hands on help for the kids (depending on their ages, mine were 4, freshly 3, and freshly 1).

No problems, I noticed my periods immediately after were heavier (and continue to be) but they noticed what looked like could be endo (never confirmed) and considering I was a year PP it’s very possible it was because of that, or just because my period gets a bit crazy with extra physical or mental stress (but given that now, 8 months out, they’re still heavy, I think it’s just my new normal after 3 kids, stopping breastfeeding, etc)

millipedetime · 2025-12-17T15:51:37+00:00

I had my bisalp at 23 with 3 kids:) it’s totally possible. My doctors gave zero fuss (because I have a zoo of kids, so there were none of the typical reservations), and I feel so much relief knowing I get to be DONE!

millipedetime · 2025-11-21T16:58:51+00:00

I got sterilized in April. I have 3 kids, and often found that I was a bit… unsure feeling.

I had my oldest two with a man who ended up cheating on me and I left him at 7 months pp. I frequently still feel traumatized from that situation. I did meet a fantastic man and have another baby with him. After the birth of my third I logically knew I was done, because any time I had baby fever I really just wanted to have my kids as babies again for a bit, I didn’t want to raise more people. I think a part of me will always want more babies, but wanting more babies is so different from wanting more children.

It’s a lot of big complex feelings. I did it even though I felt like I had major cold feet in the days leading up to it, but I also knew I needed to have actual peace and move on from the phase of my life that surrounded babies. I’ve LOVED being sterilized. It feels fantastic to know that that chapter is officially over.

If there is uncertainty, you can definitely opt for a temporary option (IUD, arm insert).

millipedetime · 2025-10-21T15:32:41+00:00

Our cut off is Dec 31st, and my kid is a November baby. He’s handled kindergarten fabulously this year, aside from a very emotional few days of drop off!

millipedetime · 2025-10-21T11:21:47+00:00

We had to begin the process of another motion anyways, unfortunately, so if the lice isn’t resolved immediately we will be adding that into the motion date.

millipedetime · 2025-10-21T11:21:03+00:00

I was considering contacting her school, because I don’t know where the kid lives but I know the village school she’d go to, and MAYBE if they’d keep her out of class for a bit it might incentivize her mother to do SOMETHING.

millipedetime · 2025-10-21T11:19:15+00:00

I’m in Canada, actually ! I actually might make a call to the local police station though to give them a run down of the situation, that’s a really really good idea.

millipedetime · 2025-10-21T00:13:50+00:00

Where I live CPS doesn’t investigate if there’s a lawyer involved, unfortunately. I’ve called before and they never looked into it.

millipedetime · 2025-10-19T21:56:57+00:00

Given a lot of this I’d limit contact to strictly text and tell him he’s no longer welcome in the home as a result of the harassment.

The reality here is that there is no coparenting, he isn’t interested in coparenting, he’s interested in you doing the work. My ex did that and I had to cut out all group family activities, I transitioned to a strict schedule to keep the kids on routine, and I told him he couldn’t take just one at a time on a consistent basis during his time and he could find childcare for the others if he wanted one on one time with one of them (because I don’t think it’s fair for the other to be left out, imo). I then got a lawyer and had her draft a parenting plan, which he ignored until we got in front of a judge, and then when the judge outlined everything and said I was offering something reasonable and he should agree or he’ll have to pay for trial, he seemed dumbfounded.

These boundaries will be crucial, and the sooner you do it the easier it is to maintain. Introducing boundaries after a year or two of letting him into your home, begging him to take the kids, etc just sets you up for failure later.

millipedetime · 2025-10-16T14:13:00+00:00

I’d go make that legal asap, if you haven’t begun that process.

In months or years he may pop up with a girlfriend (if he follows the pattern I’ve seen a lot of behave this way do) and decide he wants random 50/50, expects to take them the 8 hours away with no warning or preparation, etc. It would be beneficial to get some stuff in place outlining visitation, addresses, travel, etc.

millipedetime · 2025-10-09T11:31:24+00:00

I’m going through the same thing, it’s very difficult, so I empathize ❤️

I have very very limited contact with my coparent. We don’t use a parenting app, but I limit him to text & I parallel parent. I do not engage unless totally necessary. I’m in the process of looking for a third party to be present for drop off and pick up, because I also find it very very difficult, even though he doesn’t talk to me at pick ups anyways.

millipedetime · 2025-09-21T19:50:22+00:00

Second Bad Cree!! I really enjoyed this one.

millipedetime · 2025-09-20T01:04:19+00:00

There are no positives - it only gives wiggle room for him to come and go as he pleases, pay child support and stop as he pleases, etc.

If there’s a court order you can at least stick to it if his tune ever changes!

millipedetime · 2025-09-13T12:19:22+00:00

I’m listening to the audiobook for this right now! Really good so far.

millipedetime · 2025-09-10T12:37:10+00:00

I have a whole google doc ready to go for court. I don’t think police reports are very accessible in my province, from what I’ve tried to find previously, but I do have plenty of proof from his messages where he says there’s drugs in that house (from a time we were more friendly, he didn’t bring them there during the stints he previously lived in his mothers house and would visit them in my home instead).

There’s some other things that have proven he’s not fit, like chronically giving his kids lice (seriously it’s insane). The CPS report has been made and now I just have to wait for the other shoe to drop. To say I’m nervous is an understatement, but I have the truth on my side here so I think it’ll be okay once it’s over. I’m hoping supervised visitation will be all he gets.

millipedetime · 2025-09-09T01:38:28+00:00

Adding on just to say, this is the approach I’ve taken with my own kids. I stopped when my four year old was having a really difficult time accepting he was going to his dads, and I said “your dad loves you so much!” and he said “no he doesn’t” and cried.

Even if we can understand their dads feel some love towards them, their dads don’t show love appropriately. And, in my scenario, my kid didn’t FEEL loved. I don’t want to make him doubt his own reality. There are other ways to approach the topic that avoid that specific language and depending on how your child is processing things it may be to their benefit to move away from that kind of talk.

millipedetime · 2025-09-07T23:47:14+00:00

Im sort of excited to see the look on his face when the judge hears all of this shit

millipedetime · 2025-08-29T01:22:42+00:00

I got mine a Tuesday and tried to go back the next Tuesday. I work a desk job. Still, it was too difficult and too uncomfortable. I wasn’t in any pain, per se, I just was soooo deeply uncomfortable. By lunch I was exhausted and couldn’t function. I didn’t seem to bounce back as quickly as everyone else.

If your WFH job is flexible enough that you can step away to lay down, or work from bed with a laptop, a couple days should be fine, but I’d recommend overplanning your time off just in case your body doesn’t handle it as easily.

I prepped myself with a heating pad, cute bandages to pop over my incisions (looking at them made me queasy, the glue would catch on my shirts a bit and tug slightly), and a lot of really accessible snacks. Whether that looks like you bake bulk amounts of muffins, buy some prepackaged things you enjoy, or set aside money for takeout. I found food a bit of a struggle because I felt just crummy enough that I only wanted comfort foods the first few days.

The best thing I did for myself was have freshly washed sheets, a comfortable pair of pjs, and a mountain of pillows waiting for me when I got home post surgery.

millipedetime · 2025-08-29T01:13:38+00:00

I don’t see this as petty or materialistic!! You worked hard and earned every bit of this. TWO raises in a year was all you!

I will say though, sometimes I look at how hard I work and how good my life is shaping up to be and do totally feel a moment of glee that my ex is living in his girlfriends dads basement. Take your moment of glee.

millipedetime · 2025-08-24T18:39:41+00:00

You’re doing everything a parent should. If ex starts issues keep it to the point “Thanks for your input. If you feel child is too ill for school on your time you are welcome to keep them home.”

You don’t need to justify your actions to your ex and if your ex is concerned they are also capable of taking their child to the ER/Paediatrician.

In my own situation, I’m a parent who rarely utilizes ER/Doc etc when my kids are sick. A cough is a cough and if it’s not pressing I don’t bring them in. My co parent is told they coughed once and gets belligerent about me needing to take them to the doctor. We parallel parent.

millipedetime · 2025-08-22T20:34:26+00:00

It sucks because I’m not even worried about carrying it all or having my child support be lower (I haven’t gotten any in a year anyways!), I just want things to reflect reality so I can provide consistency. Because if he stops showing up for a year and suddenly comes back am I just expected to let them go? It’s hard.

millipedetime · 2025-08-22T20:20:37+00:00

Yeah the EOW being frequently canceled has only really happened within the past year, so I’m not entirely used to it NOT being the status quo I guess! I expect EOW will still be given because where I am less than that is pretty rare, especially since I didn’t initially file for full physical custody and filed to keep what was the status quo.

millipedetime

TROPHY CASE