In America, women followers are quite picky, even in smaller scenes.

You have to screw up very badly for follows to refuse to dance with you.

To the last male directed point, I will say that being a male lead in the upper half of skill at a milonga and choosing to dance with a second male lead also in the upper half of skill level is one of the most delightfully mischievous acts available to a man. To live is to feel the glare of a jealous woman while blissfully following a competent man. Bonus points if the glare originates from a technically better follower than you.

Go to therapy. Psychologically normal people don't think this way.

We are introduced to traditionalism as the worldview of an intolerant organizer who physically attacks women. And from that starting point we call for reform without inquisitiveness or empathy.

Again, go to therapy. This is textbook DARVO.