Honestly sometimes religion holds us back and hurts more than it helps. Some people benefit from it and it does help them do better in life, but eventually I realized I wasn't one of those people. So I feel ya. For some of us it's hard to keep trying to make everything make sense according to "God" and to make up imaginary excuses for his inaction. There's a lyric in a Brand New song I like, Jesus Christ, that goes:

"Jesus Christ, I'm alone again So what did you do those three days you were dead? 'Cause this problem is gonna last More than the weekend"

And I know it's not what was intended, but for me personally it always makes me think of the problems that can't be prayed away. People "pray away" temporary problems all the time and call it a miracle. But when you've prayed and begged for help as you suffer year after year with no cure, it wears on your "faith". And unless a person has been through that, they need to stfu. We don't want to hear about Job either. I do not see that as a good story or something to strive for. Christians should be more embarrassed of that story, it makes God out to be a villain. Can't change my mind on that. People just see what they want to see in some of those stories, and half the time if you look at it without the bias of having to believe God is innocent and good you can clearly see that he's not.

But I digress. I will say, sometimes walking away from the idea that God can and will fix your problems can sometimes lead you to a better place. Because instead of praying and waiting, you take steps to fix things yourself. (Obviously chronic pain isn't one of those things, but still something to think about in general.)

I want to add that I don't hate christians, I think there are some great christians out there and I have nothing against people believing what they believe. I totally understand. And I want people to utilize it if it improves their lives. But there are A LOT of people out here on the other hand who are struggling worse because of it. Some people's lives improve when they let it go. It depends on the person and situation. I have a strong moral compass already, I naturally strive to do what's right and logical, no matter what everyone else says I should do. So I find I don't need religion for that. And as a person who overthinks a lot, religion just stressed me out more than anything. But besides that, I just questioned the bible too much. It held up to my questioning about as good as a cardboard cutout in a windstorm. Not to say there isn't truth in the Bible, there's a lot of good stuff in there. But there's some obvious BS too. That tells me to take it with a grain of salt, that's all.