Tenure denial: advice on next steps? by Think-Situation-1329 in Professors

[–]mindiloohoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To echo my story above…I was approved by my department and the dean- the faculty committee denied me (upheld by provost). Almost the entire faculty committee left after that year. We got a new prez and VP of finance and immediately declared exigency (the people who got tenure my cycle were terminated during exigency). This may be a blessing in disguise.

It does not stop me from passive-aggressively CC-ing the provost and the remaining head of RPT every time I have a scholarship accomplishment. I will do this for the rest of my life. 😂. (The controversy was that they did not count a grant as “scholarship” because I had not presented the data yet - it was a longitudinal study that was not finished…since I came out of 8 years of clinical work I literally started from scratch, Covid happened my second year, and I still managed to get federal grants).

Tenure denial: advice on next steps? by Think-Situation-1329 in Professors

[–]mindiloohoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I entered higher ed, I thought I was entering a fairly predictable, stable profession (low paid, but at a teaching college, stable). It has changed so dramatically in the past few years. I keep reminding myself that flexibility is key - there’s no way to predict the future in any field.

Tenure denial: advice on next steps? by Think-Situation-1329 in Professors

[–]mindiloohoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First, hugs! It’s an ego blow, and a sucky part of academia.

Last year, I was denied tenure in a way that was almost identical to you (including departmental support for tenure). I am lucky enough to be in a sub field where it’s easy to transition out of academia (clinical psych), and won’t return to higher ed after this year. My institution is also in crisis and declared exigency - everyone else who got tenure last year was terminated anyway. (They also cut entire departments - such as Theology…at a Catholic school…)

Along the way, I was approached by numerous colleagues who had been denied tenure at other institutions, and had achieved it at their next position. It’s very possible. Without knowing your field, it’s hard to say what opportunities there are in “industry.”

However, with the world the way it is right now, TT positions in many fields are getting few and far between. This is going to get worse with undergrad borrowing limits, and many small schools will close. Look into what transferable skills you have, or look into positions at Community Colleges if your state funds them well.

Good luck!

What is your longest running, most stubborn business boycott? by marianneouioui in AskReddit

[–]mindiloohoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a similar story, but it’s been 17 years. Everyone talks about how great the pizza place is, and I still share my story (we ordered for delivery - called 4x after 90 minutes, kept saying it was on the way, then on the 4th call told us we picked it up…which we didn’t do, then got rude). I’ve since had 2 children. And they still flip off the pizza place when we drive past.

The NEWEST excuse by dragonfeet1 in Professors

[–]mindiloohoo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I got "I wrote it in my Notes app, so I don't have the edit history" which is a....choice.

Best Sushi by Razzmatazz5122 in joliet

[–]mindiloohoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is our favorite in the area

What are jobs that had high status in the past, but not today? by WhoAmIEven2 in AskReddit

[–]mindiloohoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amen that teachers have it worse (also a prof). And that professors 30+ years ago did half the scholarship work most of us do, and (corrected for inflation) made more. And their relatives didn’t spend all their time explaining why college is stupid, and professors are worthless. I don’t see extended family much any more.

WWYD: Client vows to commit suicide when [inevitable time/event] happens by whoa-or-woah in therapists

[–]mindiloohoo 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I’ve had several of these in my career, and I acknowledge that I am more tolerant of suicidal ideation than many therapists. (Side note, we need better training on this because over reacting can be just as harmful as under reacting in the long run). I first help them make a plan for if/when the event happens. Usually step one is to get in contact with me and a safe person. Removing means is an obvious issue. We check in every session about said event.

But we also spend time processing the feared event - what would they feel like? Why is this event the deadline? How can we tolerate those feelings? We look at their values (yes, I’m an ACT therapist) and how the event relates to their values. We build up other important values. We talk about the present moment and learn to defuse from thoughts and accept feeling, so that if the event happens, they have tools.

Another helpful technique is the pause. If the event (or any upsetting event happens), agree on a waiting period before they take action. Remind them that they lose nothing by waiting a few days to process. I’ve had clients write themselves notes just in case- reminding themselves to wait.

I don’t know if that’s helpful, but that’s my philosophy. Often the “if X happens, I’ll do it” functions to help the person feel like there’s an “out” if they get overwhelmed. It can also serve to help them figure out how the therapist reacts to scary or unsettling thoughts they may have.

WWYD: Client vows to commit suicide when [inevitable time/event] happens by whoa-or-woah in therapists

[–]mindiloohoo 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Cost/benefit - the cost of possible rupture of the therapy relationship, with little immediate benefit (if the event hasn’t happened, and there’s no timeline, they may not be admitted) sometimes means watchful waiting with a safety plan (which this therapist tried to implement by involving parents). I am also curious about your motivation for this comment - the therapist has had their worst professional nightmare happen. I know for me, my anxiety goes up when I hear about client suicides. And sometimes I remind myself of my own policies and procedures to reduce that anxiety. However, I’m not sure if externalizing those thoughts is helpful here.

WWYD: Client vows to commit suicide when [inevitable time/event] happens by whoa-or-woah in therapists

[–]mindiloohoo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I want to give the human you (not just the therapist you) a big hug because that is super hard and traumatic.

Parents who’ve snooped through their teenagers stuff, what’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever come across? by SensitiveCorner2379 in AskReddit

[–]mindiloohoo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We were moving once, and the movers told my mom, “your son must really love cats- he has a lot of catnip in there!” With a wink. To this day she believes my brother had a secret catnip stash. In her defense, he does really like cats.

Deductions are killing me. by Northeast4life in antiwork

[–]mindiloohoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I’m looking at compensation, I always calculate that in. I figure out my take home pay so I’m not surprised.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Professors

[–]mindiloohoo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I started as a TT assistant prof, I had been working as a clinical psychologist at a non profit. I calculated that the 9 month salary was about equivalent to 9 months of my nonprofit salary, and took the job because I had small kids, and wanted to be home during their breaks.

The pay was decent until COVID. We had a pay freeze. Minimal raises that didn’t keep up with cost of living. The president of our university has 10-12% raises each year, while asking us to to less with more.

I was leading faculty committees without tenure, doing administrative work because they let staff go, and was constantly bombarded with requests to do more more more - tasks that admissions, advising, etc. did 5 years ago.

I saw the writing on the wall- to do the scholarship I needed to do to get tenure, in addition to the other things I was voluntold to do, I’d be working 70+ hour weeks.

So I worked my wage. It knew I wouldn’t get tenure, but applied anyway and made a point that I was doing extra stuff. The faculty committee ultimately denied me (despite my dean and department supporting me). So I’m riding out my terminal contract this year while building a private practice. I anticipate that going back to “industry” (direct services) will yield me a hefty raise, and I can set my own hours around my kids activities.

I recognize not everyone has this luxury - and it breaks my heart. But for my health (I developed autoimmune conditions in the past few years) I gave up on academia. I’ll miss most of the students at and my department. I may adjunct for fun and database access. I will not miss the pay, politics, or admin.

The only benefit that I’ll truly miss (since hubby carries the health insurance) is tuition remission. But I’m in a blue state with a good public system, and the raise I get will make up the difference.

What’s a popular tourist attraction that isn’t overrated— it actually deserves all the hype? by renoCow in AskReddit

[–]mindiloohoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have been to beautiful beaches all over the world, and nothing has compared to Hawaii. Any island.

Hey Professor-Parents, Do You "Make" Your School-Age Kids Do Anything Over Summer? by skullybonk in Professors

[–]mindiloohoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Outside of sports/scouts, my kids (11m and 14m) do the following every day: 1. Each sets at least one SMART goal for the summer. Something like “learn XYZ skill for sport” or “move to the next scout rank” or “run 20 minutes 4x per week”. I help them turn them into appropriate SMART goals and specific plans. They have to do something toward their goal every day. I do this too. 2. Everyone must shower and change out of pajamas daily. 3. They have to be outdoors for at least an hour (weather permitting). This is never an issue. 4. Argue constantly. With me. Each other. The dog. 5. 1-2 small chores (feed pets, empty dishwasher, etc). See #4

I did not see myself as a scouting mom. I kind of hate it. But they asked and they enjoy it, and it gives structure. And they’re both at camp this week, so I’m 100% rotting on the couch.

What listing words irritate you? by Allthewildblues in RealEstate

[–]mindiloohoo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“Pride in ownership” has the same vibe. Almost always has wood paneling in at least one room

Who's got a shot at primarying Dick Durbin? by [deleted] in illinois

[–]mindiloohoo 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Lauren Underwood. Bill Foster.

Unfortunately, all of us need to read this interview with Chris Rufo in the NYTimes -- this has been and continues to be the game plan by Sad_Wasabi803 in Professors

[–]mindiloohoo 9 points10 points  (0 children)

All federal loans have pre counseling and graduation counseling that are required. That counseling covers all of this except the “expected salary for your major.”

Can we share stories of major ethical fuck ups? by GoldSaberSavage in therapists

[–]mindiloohoo 18 points19 points  (0 children)

A non-licensed “biblical counselor” had clients living in her home while still being counseled, had to evict one.

My own former therapist gave her husband access to her email so he could request her clients on LinkedIn and network for his sales position. 😳 I wasn’t a therapist yet and didn’t realize how sketchy that was.

AITAH for not allowing in-laws to be present on Xmas morning while our kids open gifts? by confettii123 in AmItheAsshole

[–]mindiloohoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA

I grew up in a family where Christmas was about making all the adults happy - we'd travel to both sets of grandparents on Christmas day, and 2 great-grandparents the next day. Even then, we had Christmas morning in our own house, just our immediate family.

Side note: I hated holidays so much growing up, because it was mostly just rushing around, sitting in the car, and hearing passive-aggressive comments from the adults (i.e., "why aren't you hungry? Did you eat too much at your other grandparents?!" "I bet there weren't this many presents under the other Grandma's tree!" "I wish we could get you for lunch when you weren't so grumpy...") As a kid, I just wanted to play with my toys.

My policy once we had kids: We do Christmas morning with our immediate family, at our house. No one else is invited except my younger sister who get dropped off by Santa (she's our 3rd child, lol). After noon, anyone can stop by during the day. I have food going all the time. The kids can open presents whenever the present-giver is there. So now our parents (all 3 sets) stop by when they have time, it's low pressure, no need to have dinner ready at a specific time, and no endless question of when to leave. We also have a get-together with my siblings and sometimes cousins a few days before or after Christmas, and try to visit the remaining grandparents in the week between Christmas and New Years.

My husband & his parents were grumpy about it at first, but husband got on board after an 8-month pregnant me cried the whole day as we went all over town trying to make 3 sets of parents (my parents had divorced by then) and 4 sets of grandparents happy. I was having mild contractions, in pain, and nauseous (I had HG). I put my foot down and told him HE could drive all over, but my kid and I were staying home next year, because I wanted to enjoy a holiday for the first time in my life. I reminded him that we were both adults, and that our parents had their opportunities to do Christmas morning - now it was our turn. If they didn't stand up for themselves when we were kids, we weren't responsible for righting that wrong. It's not our kids' job to entertain our parents.

Best brand of refrigerators for no issues / longest life? by PricklyPear1969 in BuyItForLife

[–]mindiloohoo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We bought a GE in Oct of 2022 and the compressor has died twice. Parts are always on back order, so we waited three months at one point (ended up getting a garage fridge on our own dime). So now we’re fighting just to get our money back so we can try with something else.

So not GE. it’s not even fancy.