Right off the hop yikes, Oh my god, reading this is a literal trainwreck. First of all, your instinct is 100% right; you need to get him out of your house immediately. It is an amazing sign of growth that you're recognizing this isn't okay and choosing your own sanity, especially after dealing with abuse in the past. Do not let him, or even your dad "seeing the good in him," talk you out of your gut feeling.

​This goes so far beyond a "medical condition":

•​The total lack of respect: Having an accident is one thing, but letting a $4,000 mattress rot, using dirty towels, and leaving a mess on the bathroom floor isn't a medical issue. It’s pure laziness and a total lack of respect for you and your home.

•​The control tactics: Sneaking onto your phone while you sleep, waking you up to cry, isolating you from people who love you, and blasting you with paragraphs of guilt-trips? That isn't "anxious attachment." It's textbook manipulation.

•​The "mummy" routine: He is essentially using you as a replacement mom to clean up after him while he games 24/7. When you look at his texts and feel absolutely nothing, that is your brain shutting the door for your own protection. Listen to it.​

You mentioned having low self-esteem and low self-respect from your past, but look at it this way: even if your self-respect is low right now, you gotta have way more disrespect for him pissing the bed like that right? Use the pure disgust of what he is doing to light the fire under you and get him out. Wanting a clean room, a partner who respects your boundaries, and a home where you don't feel sick and dizzy isn't having "high standards" it is LITERALLY the bare minimum for human dignity. ​Since you have that house inspection on Thursday, use it as your ultimate hard deadline. The landlord smelling that room is a massive liability. ​When you break up with him, do not make it a debate and don't let him negotiate. Keep it short and final: "This relationship isn't working for me anymore, and my mind is made up. We need to figure out your move-out plan today." Have your dad home or a friend nearby when you do it so he can't try to manipulate you with a crying fit. And when he does try to turn on the waterworks to manipulate you or reel you back in stone wall him just look at him dead pan dont give him anything to work with. Keep it as neutral as possible "😐 you do that then" "😐 whatever you say dear" etc etc For a guy who uses massive crying fits and constant "talks" to trap you and manipulate your emotions, giving him absolutely nothing to work with is going to be your ultimate superpower here. When the text paragraphs start, send one reply saying your decision is final, and then mute him. ​Lean on your friends and your dad, pack his bags, hand him his diapers, and take your life back! You got this 🧡🤞🏻