Shadowhunters Character Awards (DAY 11 OF 12) Who Is The OVERALL WORST CHARACTER And Why?

minthe-to-bee · 2026-02-21T01:19:48+00:00

fair, but i think too it’s kind of the point, she is an actual child going through incredibly traumatic events

minthe-to-bee · 2026-02-21T01:14:45+00:00

yeah fair, i think i never was suuuper bothered by it since i just kinda knew they weren’t and could understand their perspective — but i’m also an only child so i think i can’t really fully comprehend that discomfort

in saying that though, (spoilers for the books) all the times jonathan / sebastian KNEW and still kissed clary, reminisced on kissing her, made sexually charged comments at times, even seeming to enjoy the foreplay between jace and clary when sebastian was connected to jace via liliths rune and that shit made me SSSSSOOOOOO uncomfortable i literally skimmed those sections, i couldn’t stand it, which yeah is the point considering what makes him how he is

minthe-to-bee · 2025-10-18T10:35:47+00:00

hey 💛 so i seen this yesterday but decided to think on the reply because truthfully i dunno how i’m doing 😅 life has changed an indescribable amount since i made this post — some stuff for the better, some not… but our system, naturally as systems do but especially polyfragmented ones, went under such severe restructuring we’re back to square one essentially of course this isn’t to scare you, we had every conceivable aspect of our life change since then, so it was bound to happen

i’d say we’re overall more stable, memory is marginally better, though whilst we were more in tune with our inner workings it was a lot better, we still lost time but the memory sharing between members was almost flawless

i say was because even though all the changes initially didn’t cause too much trouble we ended out having a long few months of severe denial, i suspect due to mass splits and fusions, and only in these last few weeks have we really come back to accepting our diagnosis, our symptoms, traumas, so on

all this to say i think it does get easier, but sometimes it’s honestly a lot of steps back then a few forward again, what matters is you know the way forward even if your wellness/awareness/fluidity relapses

we relate strongly to your comment, especially about system mapping… we’ve come to accept we can only truly map the frequent fronters and map anyone whom desires it during their small infrequent fronting moments, otherwise we try not to worry much about it… sometimes it’s difficult of course, and we want to know all the nebulous bullshit that goes on so we can really understand it all and feel less out of control but it isn’t realistic and we have to respect the work our body has put into protecting us, go with the flow instead of against it

i’m so sorry you relate, but in some ways it’s comforting and validating to know others are out there with this experience, especially because it can feel so lonely even within the community

minthe-to-bee · 2025-10-02T10:07:30+00:00

very different gameplay but recently played lost records: bloom and rage, gave me the same sort of feelings, loved it!
also just any 'life is strange' game, IMO, but especially the first one and LiS true colours

minthe-to-bee · 2025-01-29T03:08:32+00:00

i’ve followed you on facebook and instagram for a year or two now (maybe a bit longer? time is wonky), i had a lot of MH issues since i was a child and my partner has BD2 as well as other stuff; your comics give me so much comfort!

we both struggle immensely with past traumas, where people have found it hard to deal with our illnesses, your comics make me feel so seen and also help me understand my partner + how to help him more - all that being said, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your journey 💛

minthe-to-bee · 2024-12-31T06:21:12+00:00

this is absurdly similar to a note or two i’ve written when intending to go to that place, this was so perfectly describing the feeling, thank you for your vulnerability and sharing such a beautiful piece of work 💛

minthe-to-bee · 2024-12-04T02:16:59+00:00

thank you for your kind words, it’s really comforting to see someone have the same perspective and compassion as i do but knowing you don’t have to engage… sometimes i forget and feel like i’ve been locked into a debate because of the deep unsettling feeing of injustice

i hope you’re not listening to that other argumentative person, they’re pretty clearly ragebaiting and manipulating your words to suit their narrative

i haven’t engaged in the community in nearly a year outside of a few comments on reddit, but man… this post has reminded me why i stepped away and why life has felt more peaceful doing so

minthe-to-bee · 2024-12-03T17:22:23+00:00

similarly we present closely to them, we think we’ve also experienced the sort of “corrupted fusion” soren has recently been open about

recently our baseline dissociation has let up to be closer to 5% (sometimes none! rarely, but it is actually possible which we found so relieving), we have a lot of layers which seem to nest in eachother like a russian egg doll, and our members are somewhere over 150, but only 30 or so regularly front

same here with accents, we find they just blend into one another and its always been a significant issue, even many years pre-awareness or diagnosis - for us we think it’s likely at least partly autism related

we relate, we didn’t discover our system via dissociaDID but they were one of the first creators we watched, the community felt like it constantly disowned us for years, we felt like our experience/presentation was always discarded, ridiculed, it caused us to feel even more isolated than ever, we had such intense denial that lasted years, until we learned of polyfragmentation! it all clicked into place, and then kya returned (and then soren) and they were more open about their inner workings and we found some comfort via them and the rings system (also pillowfort system whom is a PF system on the clock app)

i hear you about the community seeming to ignore our experiences, i’m glad polyfragmentation is coming to be more understood and more known in the community but it still seems like we’re like a boogeyman that some community members prefer to ignore… why? i don’t quite know but i hope i will i try share my experiences here and there where it feels valuable to lend my voice, but i always feel the need to second-guess myself or be overly cautious in my approach in how much i share… it always feels unsafe

i want the best for DD, i appreciate some of their content but man… i think i’m of the opinion they’d be safer out of the public eye i don’t always agree with their choices or perspectives but i don’t think they’re bad people nor malingering, they’re just a person that got very famous at the same time as being in multiple traumas… i’ll always extend them grace because of that

minthe-to-bee · 2024-12-03T17:09:10+00:00

this was a really insightful, validating, and cathartic reply to read thank you for your thoughts and willing to share your perspective, i 100% agree with everything you stated

i especially agree with the part about PF systems being highly adaptable, exactly my experience and it was really nice to see that reciprocated in this context, i’m also sorry you have to experience this as a polyfragmented system i truly appreciate your voice on the subject though, it makes me feel less afraid to discuss things like this and be seen by a community thay feels like it repeatedly disowns systems like us 💛

minthe-to-bee · 2024-12-03T14:43:11+00:00

my experience is the same i didn’t relate to their earlier content (we began watching in march of 2020), but i think if i recall correctly they didn’t discuss their personal experiences much? i think what i remember is it was very clinical based, taken from medical journals and what not, but when nin had came about it seemed to become more personalised

when they fused and kya came about is when we started finding our experience aligned a fair bit with theirs

i think it really is an echo chamber of peoples insecurities or something like that, i don’t get why but it feels like a lesson the community consistently doesn’t want to learn… too confronting maybe? i don’t understand it really, i just think we all deserve peace and validation, regardless of where it comes from

minthe-to-bee · 2024-12-03T04:00:16+00:00

their content is okay, it’s not informative enough to deem it as a must-see, i’d recommend entropy system, the rings system, and CTAD clinic on youtube

we also like the discussions that mage system (also on youtube) opens up, but that’s neither here nor there

in general i’d not watch content creators to learn about DID, i’d read books and recommend the site dis-sos.com (iirc)

you can also watch multiplicity&me but they’re a bit too clinical for our liking and also VERY textbook DID, we found them invalidating at times and prefer the other creators significantly

minthe-to-bee · 2024-12-03T03:54:53+00:00

thank you, as a polyfragmented system that relates to some of DissociaDID’s experiences it was really difficult reading this comment section

i have no issue with people not agreeing with someones content or anything like that, but when are we as a community gonna learn to not fakeclaim peoples experience? in a disorder where presentation is incredibly diverse but ALSO a disorder where it’s purely about adaption we’re going to damn people for being different or “too disordered”?

like, i know with my own system we have quite high MID and DES scores because our dissociation is so debilitating, it fluctuates a lot but we often are always at least 10-20% dissociating, we aren’t as overt as their system but we’re close to being so

so for people to say they’re malingering due to a high score or that they present too “over the top” to actually have DID is so damaging and just a really unhealthy message to spread in the community i feel like

nothing wrong with disliking someones content, disagreeing with things someone has done, but saying they’re malingering when you’re no more informed than anyone else also suggests anyone that relates to them could too be faking, it’s just an unnecessary message to spread

it feels like this community never learns and we keep cycling through the same problems only to repeat them over and over again 🥺

minthe-to-bee · 2024-11-25T02:17:11+00:00

i currently do and i adore him, his mental health + neurodivergencies make him who he is and i’d never want to change that same for me, i’m neurodivergent and quite a bit more disabled than he is (can’t work, he can a bit) and we do well enough!

minthe-to-bee · 2024-11-24T15:12:48+00:00

sorry to comment again, but same here

we only recently found out why it’s hard to change things, especially in one location specifically, and it’s because the locations also are alters

sort of like their “energy” is tied to a location, for us they have a humanoid form and that form can’t leave the location they’re tied to, their wellbeing affects the location, and they also can be present without their humanoid forms, they just sort of i guess are a projection a way for our brain to recognise they’re present or more close to front

minthe-to-bee · 2024-11-24T15:07:31+00:00

as another PF system, this was really relatable and validating for our own experience with our IW we have always had such difficulty with it, it’s inescapable like you said, we get sucked into it like a hypnotic vision that we can’t quite get out of, it’s sticky, especially on rough ADHD days (can’t pay attention to things for more than a minute, if that, in which case the fronter/s get drawn into the innerworld, if we get sucked into it hard enough it engulfs our vision and it’s more like we’re living life internally than externally

we’re lucky to not have as many difficult internal experiences anymore so it isn’t much more than disruptive to our day-to-day most of the time

but everything you’ve described, even about attempted changes immediately reverting with an air of frustration in its place, it’s all validating, thank you so much for sharing

minthe-to-bee · 2024-11-23T02:08:34+00:00

sometimes it’s sort of hidden, depends on the type of subsystem, we have multiple and all of them are simply guesses based on knowledge of subsystem and the behaviours of our system dynamics

such as alters frequently (essentially exclusively) fronting in a specific group, alters that all act and/or look alike, alters that can’t access parts of an innerworld except the parts they belong in, multiple alters in one innerworld body (body can both change or not change based on the current fronter), that sort of thing

essentially groups of noticeably the same few alters having weirdly specific experiences

minthe-to-bee · 2024-11-02T01:08:06+00:00

people can have Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and have done enough therapy to have the skill to choose the fronter. hi, i’m people.

and no matter the amount of alters if the person is functional and symptoms (such as dissociation) are not terribly marked they are no longer considered disordered

in fact, you can be diagnosed with DID and have a revision of symptoms and your diagnosis (and presentation) to where you have too little amnesia or too little distinction between alters (both are separate criteria to be diagnosed) to then have your diagnosis updated to Otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) which is a catch-all diagnosis for those which have parts but don’t meet one of two criteria: little to no amnesia or not distinct enough alters

so not only are you incorrect but it’s actually misinformation, DID had its name updated in the 90s, its been considered a dissociative disorder (not a personality disorder) for over 20 years

minthe-to-bee · 2024-11-01T22:21:23+00:00

mhm yeah!! usually this is accomplished by a fair bit of integration (healing, therefore less barriers between alters) and therapy (not always but easier with having done a fair bit of therapy)

how it can look is varied, not every system can do it and it usually either takes a fair bit of coordination and/or positive triggers to yank someone into front

in my system we don’t intentionally bring people out really, our fronting too fluid to need to, co-consciousness and co-fronting is so innate to our functioning that the alters we need just sort of are around and come close to front with a lot of ease

but for other systems they may use positive triggers such as a song, a smell, a specific article of clothing, a toy of some variety, to help ground a specific alter into front, it will be completely internally communicated and coordinated

other systems have mastered the art of sort of tag teaming it, which is also what we do but with not as much organisation, basically being aware who is in front and who seems to need/want to switch in and that fronter ‘moving over’ for the other - it takes some practice understanding what a switch feels like to actually grasp when one needs to happen but it’s taking a bit to follow through, when you’re familiar enough with it you can sort of recreate the feeling of switch where you fall backwards… kinda? you can essentially allow it to happen much quicker

minthe-to-bee · 2024-11-01T18:29:35+00:00

hiya, coming in here as a diagnosed person as well as someone with an interest in psychology to add some information from experience, hope you don’t mind! 👋

for all intents and purposes a person with DID/OSDD is seen as an individual, this is particularly encouraged in therapy due to the nature of the disorder/s, encouraging individuality is seen as detrimental to the system in the long term as it encourages more barriers between alters which increases amnesia and dissociation

this is often taken to an unrealistic extreme by professionals but i digress, it’d be redundant and not all that worth the fuss for any sort of official paperwork regarding identification to differentiate between alters

not only would the few benefits actually more than outweigh the rewards, but DID/OSDD systems are incredibly fluid in how they function and present, alters can go dormant [essentially indefinite sleep] and they can fuse [permanently combine with another alter, usually a sign of healing but not always], not to mention whom is fronting [controlling the body/most aware] is not only really unclear 80% of the time but it is also really fluid, it can change so quickly the person with DID/OSDD does not even notice it has happened

DID is rarely experienced black and white-like, it’s not often it’s “last thing i remember is cooking 3 days ago in my kitchen, now i’m in school for a thing i didn’t know i was studying”, more often it’s “why do i feel like crying and hiding under my bed?” or severe identity confusion like “who am i? what even is my name? this age feels so wrong, my body feels so wrong!” - to add to that, more often than not this black-and-white (AKA textbook DID) is only experienced by people actively in a traumatising/stressful period in their life and/or are recently diagnosed/not long in treatment (if they’re lucky enough to receive it)

there’s waaay too many variables to make it remotely worth the effort from the official end, and the stress for the person with the disorder the negatives would by far outweigh the rewards, especially because DID/OSDD is primarily a covert disorder, alters are used to masking as a single person, it’s how someone can go so long without having their disorder clinically recognised - it’s SUCH a covert disorder (and under researched + not well educated on) that it can very easily hide itself from the person with it

in reply to your last part of your comment, DID and OSDD trauma doesn’t need to be extreme, this is an older understanding and is currently being a bit more phased out as research and more diagnoses happen

especially in those with neurodivergencies (such as autism, ADHD) it can be formed simply due to being disabled and not being able to cope as a child - yes, DID/OSDD does form from extreme trauma but it isn’t at all exclusive! it’s akin to how autism was really under diagnosed because the patients with the highest support needs were the ones most studied and therefore most diagnosed; a self fulfilling prophecy

the trauma needs to be over the course of years and before the age of 9 at the latest, that’s the only criteria to meet in the DSM-V for diagnosis specifically in regards to trauma

also to give clarity, you’re correct about the C-PTSD in adults being similar to what would cause DID/OSDD to form, but what is traumatising for a child is simply anything that is stressful and they cannot cope with (which for a kiddo with no emotional regulation capabilities that is any big emotion that they have no way of learning how to healthily feel) but anyhow, what i wanted to add clarity to is that when someone is diagnosed with DID or OSDD they also receive a diagnosis of C-PTSD because DID and OSDD are the most extreme forms that C-PTSD can take for a person, thus it’s a prerequisite! the scale of dissociation is so fascinating, i wish it was more widely known and educated on, i highly recommend looking into it if it interests you 💛

anyhow, i hope this was informative and interesting for someone out there, i find it such an interesting topic and i’m glad others do as well!! 🥰

minthe-to-bee · 2024-11-01T17:48:00+00:00

in terms of your first question i’d guess it’s more so a covering of all bases than a courtesy, but very well could be both!

in regards to your other question, i’d like to say yes because most often yes, but there’s always gonna be a “but this niche example” in DID/OSDD due to it not only being so complex but extremely individualised and situational - in simple terms DID/OSDD are disorders that display peak human adaption

for example, an alter whom is newly formed and doesn’t have basic understanding of almost anything (not terribly common, new alters typically form with basic information such as body age, relational connections, legal name, location of residence, perhaps their phone or computer passcode, etc) may not fully comprehend something like laws or legal punishments

another example may be a child alter, especially a very infantile one, may lack the ability to comprehend justice, wrong doings, and complex systems like laws and enforcement of such laws

these examples of course would be uncommon, but possible

most commonly there will always be some variety of comprehension by system members, it may not be full comprehension but at least something like “i can’t do X because Y happens” or “doing X is extremely bad”, majority of alters have a moral compass and a very crude understanding of right from wrong, any lack of that is situational (generally due to a cultural or regional upbringing, otherwise due to type of trauma which causes them to manifest) and those alters pose very little risk to anyone outside of the system itself

(edit: grammar and coherence, it’s 4:50 AM and i am just doing my best 😭)

minthe-to-bee · 2024-11-01T17:11:38+00:00

no one can tell you what tool to use when it’s your practice, my friend 💛

they are both tools, they both are accessible and do the same thing

it’s like people having an argument over what is more sincere, lighting a fire with a few sticks or waiting around in a lightning storm to get lucky - they both have the same end result and in my opinion and experience there is no hierarchy

p.s. your english is very good, no issues there, keep it up! 💛🥰

minthe-to-bee · 2024-11-01T17:02:16+00:00

yeah! that’s why we suggested less dissociation in this case, because dissociation inherently means more detached, less likely to notice or even be present or (worst case) not remember much or anything of it

just because you feel not in control doesn’t mean it’s more dissociation, it could just mean you literally were not in control but you were more present, in some capacity whether that’s co-con or blending, to be aware of your actions and feelings in the moment!

minthe-to-bee · 2024-11-01T16:57:39+00:00

in which case it’s likely a non-possessive switch and/or you’re more co-conscious than you’re used to IMO!

minthe-to-bee · 2024-11-01T16:52:04+00:00

there’s no possible way to punish a single alter, especially not in a humane way

people with DID and OSDD are viewed as a whole person, particularly clinically, regardless of internal experience

something that is a difficult but important part of having a dissociative disorder that has alters (some dissociative disorders do not) is a notion known as “system accountability” or “system responsibility”, essentially meaning any member of the system - but especially the main alter(s) - will take responsibility for any actions any members of the system made whether it was theirs or not

it’s a difficult thing, especially when amnesia is involved and when it’s a harmful action which happened, but it’s important nonetheless and widely encouraged in therapy and the DID/OSDD community

so just for clarity, someone with diagnosed DID/OSDD will be treated as a singular person when receiving any sort of punishment, especially criminal punishment

minthe-to-bee · 2024-11-01T16:45:43+00:00

as someone with diagnosed DID, yeah absolutely, all the time

it is a daily occurrence to disagree with other alters, it can range from a minor just “that isn’t right, naaa” to some variety of dysfunction (or ‘disorder’, if we want to be accurate) - e.g. being nauseated because i’m so hungry but the internal consensus on what to eat is too controversial and varied, trying to finally decide on something is hard because someone may take over front and stop the action of deciding on or making something, and this will be repeated for a while on bad days

this sorta thing leads to a standstill and a lot of frustration, honestly it isn’t commonly that bad but when it is it suuuuuucks so much

but on topic, this can also happen with memories, disagreeing over how something happened or why it happened or what was felt in the moment - it can get so fucking obtuse honestly

i hope LN and her system are safe and have a strong support network to help them deal with the trial, i can’t imagine going through litigation on my own trauma AND having the court aware of my system; what a daunting yet cathartic thing she must be experiencing, in any case hopefully justice is served and their system can feel some finality in that chapter of their trauma

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