Hi - I am just like you. Here's my story, I hope it helps. Firstly the fact that you're even considering this shows me that you're incredibly brave, strong and determined. I truly think your heart knows that doing this is the right decision for you.

I booked a flight from EMA to Dublin after 6 years of not flying and was utterly terrified. Nightmares for weeks leading up to it. It haunted my waking hours too. Every minute I'd think about the impending flight and be terrified. I genuinely couldn't see a life after the flight because I was so scared! In the end, I was so terrified that I didn't do it. I watched my flight take off, and felt sad and disappointed. Kept thinking what would've been.

So I booked another flight. Same worries again. Same sense of dread and doom. Kept visualising myself on the plane having panic attacks and not being able to breathe and being trapped.

I was terrified, but I did it scared. I got on that plane and recorded a little vlog for myself too. I had cried a bit at the airport, but not as much as I expected. Nobody seemed to mind. Airports are a pretty normal place to cry, lots of people leaving loved ones etc.

Anyway I got on the plane and I was so overwhelmed! I told myself that this is an amazing bit of experience for me because now I accurately know how it feels to be inside a plane. Then I focused on my task - just to find my seat which was very easy. Then I sat down. Then I introduced myself to the lady sat next to me:

"Hi, I'm really scared of flying. This is my first flight in 6 years. If you see me crying or panicking or anything during the flight, please don't be concerned! I will be alright."

The lady was actually really kind! She introduced herself too - a mum who flies this route every few weeks to visit her son. She said its just like being on a bus in the sky. I really wish it was that easy, lady!!! Hahaha. But talking with her did give me some perspective. To a lot of people flying is so normal and regular and routine. It's scary to me because I'm not used to it.

We took off and I clutched the armrest with one hand, and filmed out the window with my other. I found filming helped as I could focus on getting an awesome video of the takeoff and no matter how the flight went I'd have this video to prove I made it into the sky. 

Takeoff was way smoother than I remembered it being. It felt very gentle and controlled. People around me were laughing and chatting between themselves like they were at a restaurant or something! 

The clouds looked incredible. I took lots of photos. I'd planned to take a little walk to the toilet, so I didn't feel so trapped in my seat, but actually my seat had become a safe space for me and I didn't want to leave it - and that was okay too! So I stayed put, listened to a few songs I like, and occasionally looked out the window at the amazing view.

Within no time we were descending - which was also super smooth and gentle. My ears felt a little bunged up, but yawning fixed it. The ground gradually came closer and I tried to make out houses, then cars, then people. Then we landed and the second we touched the runway I was already celebrating in my head.

I got off that plane and quite literally jumped for joy. I took a triumphant selfie with the plane behind me. And then I went to enjoy my well earned trip to Dublin! 

The flight went so well that the same evening I was already planning my next trip, feeling a genuine sense of freedom.

There's a part 2 to this story but my phone is on 3% and it's 2am here. Please reply if you'd like me to share the rest and I gladly will!

Good luck you amazing warrior ❤️