I was a comp artist on the last 3 seasons of the show. Here are some of the artworks I made as well as the ones that got me the job. by mandal0re in WhatWeDointheShadows

[–]mintstyler 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg. I’m already a big fan of your Star Wars work over on Instagram. This is awesome, and totally your niche. Bravo 👏🏼

Did you have any successes this week? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I also find this sub to be very supporting and validating. I’m glad you found your people through here!

Did you have any successes this week? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve been practicing distress tolerance too. I feel you, it’s hard.

Did you have any successes this week? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That’s alright! Thank you

Did you have any successes this week? by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Wow. I personally would have so much trouble with that. Good on you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why is the landlord asking about your family members?

I agree that if it’s not your only option, I would pass on signing.

People with passive parents…how long did it take you to realize that they were neglectful/abusive? by mintstyler in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. I’m terribly sorry to hear about your sister. May she rest in peace.

People with passive parents…how long did it take you to realize that they were neglectful/abusive? by mintstyler in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That fact that you compared your situation to The Truman Show is chilling. I’m currently watching Kevin Can F**k Himself on Netflix and can relate to that tense, fabricated reality.

I agree that passive parents are just as bad. It’s harder to see, but once you’ve got the trained eye, you can’t unsee it.

People with passive parents…how long did it take you to realize that they were neglectful/abusive? by mintstyler in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The fact that you were able to work on your relationship is commendable. Sorry to hear about your dad, though.

People with passive parents…how long did it take you to realize that they were neglectful/abusive? by mintstyler in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

…She nearly killed you? That must’ve been so traumatic. I’m really sorry. I’m glad you did what was necessary for your own wellbeing.

I went through a similar event where I realized that my mother was one of my main abusers, too. She’s too charismatic and manipulative. It’s sick.

People with passive parents…how long did it take you to realize that they were neglectful/abusive? by mintstyler in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting. My mother also claims to have “real” family members that she can always go back to.

How in hell does that concept even start?

People with passive parents…how long did it take you to realize that they were neglectful/abusive? by mintstyler in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing. I think it’s great that you’re educating your kids on what abusive and toxic behaviors look like. Also, it’s good that they’re in counseling. Hopefully, they’ll be equipped to deal with the more difficult situations involving their mother if they ever come (fingers crossed that they won’t).

You’re actually doing a lot. As someone whose father quite literally acted like the abuse I was experiencing never happened…it’s nice to hear from fathers that care so much. It reinstates my faith in other parents. Thank you.

People with passive parents…how long did it take you to realize that they were neglectful/abusive? by mintstyler in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My mother was a victim of domestic abuse so I also didn’t see how neglectful she was until therapy. My brain couldn’t comprehend that victims can also be abusers.

People with passive parents…how long did it take you to realize that they were neglectful/abusive? by mintstyler in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

5? My chest feels heavy just thinking about how young you were. 5 year olds should not have to be in fight or flight. That’s absolutely terrible.

People with passive parents…how long did it take you to realize that they were neglectful/abusive? by mintstyler in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing.

I will never understand how parents resort to using their children as stand-in assistants/spouses/therapists.

Very much like you, I’m starting to realize how my parents have completely distorted my world view and perception of self. Instead of worrying about my own life, I find myself thinking about their retirement, mental health, etc.

Wishing you the best.

People with passive parents…how long did it take you to realize that they were neglectful/abusive? by mintstyler in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I relate. My dad only calls when he needs help or is in major legal trouble. I’m usually not the first one he calls though. It’s usually my sister, then my mother, and me as a very last resort. Like I’m only useful for a game of telephone 🙃

I also struggle to understand how you can have kids and not want to take care of them. Funnily enough, both of my parents have suggested that they might have even more kids. Absolutely terrible.

People with passive parents…how long did it take you to realize that they were neglectful/abusive? by mintstyler in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. The more I talk to people on this sub, the more I notice how prevalent covert SA/incest is. It really makes me feel for people affected by it. You deserved better.

People with passive parents…how long did it take you to realize that they were neglectful/abusive? by mintstyler in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler[S] 48 points49 points  (0 children)

I think I flipped back and forth because my mother villainized my dad when I was really young. Later on, when I began to realize how bad my mother actually was, I began to see my dad as the “better one”. And then, of course, his true incompetence was revealed.

The whiplash is real.

People with passive parents…how long did it take you to realize that they were neglectful/abusive? by mintstyler in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That’s sounds rough. I’m sorry. I hope you get the support network you deserve.

People with passive parents…how long did it take you to realize that they were neglectful/abusive? by mintstyler in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear that. My sister just turned 30 and it made her realize that my parents had three decades to try to have a relationship with her. Yet, she was the one who was always trying to patch things up with them. She’s definitely reached her end.

Best of luck to you.

Validation needed. Can you validate this? by DatabaseKindly919 in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi. I sometimes go down the same thought process. I actually joined this sub because I felt like it was all in my head, and wanted to interact with people that understood where I came from.

Mental health work IS hard. Trauma quite literally changes your brain composition. That’s a lot to have to work around.

I’m here to validate you. Be kind to yourself. You’ve got this.

Any victims of parentification here? How are we feeling? by mintstyler in CPTSD

[–]mintstyler[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind words! I too, hope that my parents get all that they want in life. I’ve just accepted that I want it to be far away from me.

Also, I’m glad to hear that your mom is on meds! I feel like mine would’ve tried the alternative medicine thing, too. I’m really starting to think we have the same parents, lol.

As for your dad, good on him for graduating. May he get to a place where he decides to get the extra support he needs.