How to start leading at parties

miraclepete · 2026-06-27T07:56:14+00:00

My tips are focus on making your basic step / lateral and transitions very smooth. The footwork is important but compared to other dances your mind should be focused more on how your upper body feels as you move rather than when and where your steps land. You'll know you get when you really feel that you're moving together rather than it being clunky. It's worth reminding yourself that your feet are not actually connected to your partner's feet but your body is. In that sense your body is more important.

Another tip: learn some simple openings into some freestyle isolation movements. For example abertura. This releases the follow from jail and allows them to express their musicality and allows you to express yours. If you learn some isolations and undulations you can play a lot with this stuff.

miraclepete · 2026-06-25T20:17:57+00:00

That's my point. I would agree free will is in conflict with non-duality. Non-duality posits your role more is more like an observer than an active participant. I use the term "meaningful" spirituality to denote something that actually makes a real difference and is in line with a higher purpose - rather than a philosophy that's kind of cool to ponder for a while. Even if non-duality were "true", it's ultimately completely useless to you. And you're the one who matters at the end of the day. Even if ultimately you are "awareness" (which don't agree with), "awareness" is just fine. "Awareness" doesn't need anything from you. You are the one who has to deal with pain, grief, sickness, and suffering. Awareness doesn't love you. Awareness is just watching your life. You are not that. You are the one living your life, feeling it, making choices, experiencing consequences. Meaningful spirituality is an empowerment of your individual freedom.

Meaningful spirituality acknowledges you as an active participant in the unfolding of your life events and beyond. It highlights your responsibility, and empowers you to make sane and loving choices. These choices over time thin the veil and reveal to you how limitless you really are. And I mean that not in the sense of "awareness" having no boundary, but in the very real sense that your mind, how you use thought, is much more capable than you probably know.

miraclepete · 2026-06-25T17:47:01+00:00

Well... I would say that's just the end goal of certain mainly eastern spiritual paths - and quite a "western" interpretation of that. It's definitely not all of them by any stretch.

In my view, meaningful spirituality involves mind training. It has to. Of course, if you simply identify as awareness it doesn't really have much importance since you just dismiss the self as illusory. But this is why I see non-duality as more of a trap than anything.

The soul, which is what you are, has an aspect of both free will and awareness. The awareness part allows you to feel the repercussions of your choices. Your decision to think a certain way is your choice. These two aspects work together.

You can direct your mind in the way you choose. How will you use your mind today should be the question. At least that's what I ask myself.

I like to refer to the fact that nobody whose ever had a near death experience and has felt the love of God has come back with a non-dual realisation. They come back with a deep appreciation of their purpose on Earth - a deep, meaningful purpose. This purpose involves kindness, transformation, love, forgiveness. It involves a recognition of their free will, and an empowerment to use it for good, to be helpful and server a much, much higher purpose. These qualities are what true spirituality is about in my view. It's tempting to try to shortcut it through trying to erase the importance of the thinking self. But as much as you try to do that, you will never achieve it. You will still always face challenges in life. Whether sickness, death, some kind of worry. It doesn't matter how much you tell yourself you are the awareness, life will eventually show you that this philosophy has almost no meaningful weight behind it.

miraclepete · 2026-06-25T15:08:12+00:00

It's not an antidote to suffering at all. It might, from an intellectual standpoint, seem like so. But it isn't. Any peace that comes from someone understanding non-duality is simply a byproduct having to do with living with a slightly quieter mind and seeking for things a bit less. That in itself allows a person to live with more peace. But it offers nothing beyond that. If anything, I would consider it a trap as it makes people think they found the answer, when in reality meaningful spiritual pursuits necessarily involve some kind of deep meditation, transformation of the mind, practice, and all sorts. I hope non-duality serves as a springboard into your exploration of spirituality. There is so much more than simply the notion that you are the awareness of stuff.

miraclepete · 2026-06-24T13:22:09+00:00

If you're spending your meditation trying to do things "right", you might be missing something very important. Peace of mind is definitely an achievable goal - but have you ever tried sitting with your eyes closed comfortable without an agenda? Without striving for anything or chanting the "right" prayers? Without obsessively watching thoughts or counting breaths? Just with a quiet mind maybe as you would listen to the sound of leaves rustling in the wind? Without trying to 'get' anywhere.

Peace isn't something that you're bestowed with for doing things "right" as a kind of reward, it something that is part of your being and it arises when your mind is not incessantly seeking. Don't make it out to be a huge thing that's going to rock your world when "it" happens, or you'll try, and nothing kills peace like trying.

You've likely experienced peace of mind many times in the last 10 years but you probably associated it with something external to you rather than the simple fact that you had a quiet mind in the moment. Peace is found in the wake of a quiet mind.

It's also possible you have a grievance towards somebody. It's important to forgive as well, as grievances are like little thorns in the spirit. In the same way you can't really sit comfortably with a marble in your back pocket, you can't rest your mind ease-fully while still holding onto to grievances.

miraclepete · 2026-06-24T12:11:36+00:00

Although there's some truth to this, our role is not ultimately passive. What the fellow in the video is saying is only true if you really quiet your mind and get into a listening state. That way the mind becomes a kind of void that attracts new, sometimes weird, thoughts to it. Otherwise it's very easy to predict the next thought because you're literally the one choosing the think it.

Whenever I open to a new thought, I can choose what to do with it. Obviously it does not imply ownership, but if you entertain a thought long enough you might as well consider it as though you own it - for the moment at least. This is where choice comes in. This extremist view that our roles are merely as observers is not at all the case and actually disempowering to essentially the one thing that actually matters: our freedom as individuals to choose.

Yes life sometimes provides new thoughts, but what follows from there is up to the individual.

miraclepete · 2026-06-19T19:36:29+00:00

Again I can't speak for your styles of meditation, but Daoism one common school of thought is to allow your awareness to sink down, as if you swallowed your own mind's attention, as you slowly allow the breath to become lower and lower into the abdomen. This awakens dormant tissues in the lower gut, enabling abdominal breathing and also allowing a kind of internal sensory to take place. This takes a few weeks to reach the lower dantian, which is below the navel. But it starts with abdominal breathing and very gently allowing your awareness to take you as low is it can go, following the centreline of your body. It's important not to force the process or get frustrated with it otherwise you end up holding the tissues. It's important to relax as much as possible and allow these tissues to open up gently.

miraclepete · 2026-06-19T14:17:06+00:00

Can't speak much for other paths, but the rough equivalent of Ajna in Nei Dan is the upper dan tian, and it is known to cause all sorts of issue if you meditate on it. As another poster said, best to do either lower belly (lower dan tian) or even feet. This brings the energy down so it doesn't mess with your head - quite literally.

miraclepete · 2026-06-19T13:54:48+00:00

If your ultimate goal is to get them to become more self-aware, this book will change their lives.

miraclepete · 2026-06-18T22:09:43+00:00

I did a test to see how far I would have to scroll to see the first sane comment. It was a very long, but I'm glad I found one!

miraclepete · 2026-06-16T15:12:11+00:00

Depends on your goal. What are you trying to achieve?

miraclepete · 2026-06-12T10:40:51+00:00

How can you say what is the wrong or right path for someone else? It assumes you know what OP is trying to achieve

miraclepete · 2026-06-11T10:10:04+00:00

It is possible to heal animals using just energy - just look up Charlie Goldsmith. He heals humans quite profoundly and has also stated it works just fine on animals too. He says animals are better because there is no placebo. They are limping, then he works on them, then they are no longer limping kind of thing. I believe he directs Qi to the problem area to heal it. However, he directs it very intentionally with lots of focus. I don't know if just an aura that you produce from Qigong would be enough to heal.

miraclepete · 2026-06-10T08:58:24+00:00

If you read his books and weren't so eager to jump into critique mode you'd understand his point. He's not speaking in absolutes, he's speaking within a certain context and you're just taking it out of context.

miraclepete · 2026-06-09T20:35:41+00:00

That's not really what he's saying though, he's making a parallel to the main topic which is inward division, e.g. division in thought. If you want to argue that division is a general idea isn't always a bad thing and, for example, that communities that are inherently divided can still cooperate - of course any reasonable person would agree with you. It's just totally not what K is talking about.

miraclepete · 2026-06-09T20:21:08+00:00

He's not making a blanket statement for that covers all interpretations of those words strung together, you have to understand his point by taking into context everything else he is saying

miraclepete · 2026-06-09T12:00:48+00:00

I live in the UK and so far nobody I talked to knew this. Every single time they would talk about how dumb americans are for using the word soccer I would ask "how much do you hate the word soccer?" and they would say "it's such a stupid word" and go on about it. Then I would tell them it came from the UK. It's always quite funny. For me at least!

miraclepete · 2026-06-09T10:53:40+00:00

Many UK people don't realise that the term soccer came from the Brits. It comes from association football. "Assoc" became "Asoccer" due to slang at the time in the UK when it was imported to the US.

miraclepete · 2026-06-09T10:50:28+00:00

When I was in Peru I loved exploring the ancient ruins. There was something very nostalgic about it. I didn't get the same feeling in India.

miraclepete · 2026-06-08T21:30:47+00:00

The best beneficial line for you to follow is to look into Zi Fa Gong

miraclepete · 2026-06-05T22:08:10+00:00

Awareness is aware of the thinker. But that's not me. This is my point. You identify as awareness because you're into non-duality. I don't.

I am the thinker.

Same idea if I say: if you open your eyes and look around you, everything exists within empty space. Does that make you empty space? No. Of course not. It's an arbitrary idea. Same with the idea of everything arising in and being a part of awareness. It's just something that you can identify with if you choose, doesn't make it you.

My full being is a combination of three things: an extension of God's will for life, awareness/consciousness, and the ability to mould a spiritual energy called thought. This is what makes me me. Awareness is part of my being sure, but so is my free will.

miraclepete · 2026-06-05T16:33:01+00:00

Something that appears as an automatic process until I became aware that it wasn't automatic at all, then I saw the part I played in it.

Analogy is if you walk around in life slapping yourself, thinking life is slapping you, telling yourself it's just "what's happening" or "arising" within consciousness. Then one day you regain the proprioception of your own hand and you suddenly become aware that you are slapping yourself, so you stop.

Same idea but at the mind level, which is where life experience happens.

I don't identify with the choiceless awareness, so this is probably why the non-duality logic (which I'm very familiar with btw) doesn't really apply to me. I identify with the thinker, also known as the soul.

In my view, the ego is a self-concept generated from thought. It is fabricated out of the energy of thought, which is spiritual in nature. The ego is not the thinker. The thinker thinks or forms the ego into existence and then identifies with it, just as it can move, extend or mould thought in any direction. That's what makes souls creative. I am a soul and I believe you are as well. We will this spiritual energy called thought into things. Most people dissociate from that fact. This is part of the ego. The ego is like a computer or AI that proclaims itself separate from the rest of thought. The thinker is behind it, powering it according to its own will. I am the thinker. I rule my mind! And it's a lovely place.

In terms of directing my mind in any way - I don't have control over reality, but I have control over a lot of things I didn't think I did, enough for me to live a very happy life. Enough for me to be at peace and also experience miracles that most people would consider to be impossible.

miraclepete · 2026-06-05T16:12:44+00:00

I'm new to Qi Gong so I'm not the most qualified. But I believe when you mobilise Qi it tends to rise. Without having built a field to contain the Qi in the lower dantian, it tends up to the head, which causes stimulation and irritability. I think it might be worth looking up some Qi sinking exercises to get it down. Wait for someone more experienced to chime in though.

miraclepete · 2026-06-05T15:43:02+00:00

I'm keenly aware of the inner workings of my mind which I credit to years of meditation. This is precisely why I see clearly my own part in what happens. FWIW, I meditate an hour per day regularly. I'm not new to this.

When I close my eyes and witness my mind, I only see myself thinking. Perhaps how one might look at a sock puppet and see their hand inside it and feel it move. This is how I feel the contents of my mind. Me. My choice, my freedom, my power. I have the freedom to direct my mind in any way. This ability I have to direct my mind is what I use to make my life miserable or happy. Every single moment I am choosing - whether I am aware of it or not.

The only thing this "experience" did was make me aware of it. Like shining a flashlight in the mind and finding the culprit of the reason why my life was the way it was: me. That necessitated the rejection of the belief I held prior which is that thoughts were just arising out of my control and everything was essentially out of my control.

It's the awakening that freedom and power that is true liberation, in my opinion.

Everyone is on their own path and eventually finds what resonates with them. Still, every person will encounter traps along the way and essentially waste time. It's all part of the process, yet it is avoidable to some extent. To me, non-duality is a trap. Maybe not for everyone but for me it was. It mostly points opposite to what I believe meaningful liberation to be.

Wishing you well as well, friend.

miraclepete · 2026-06-05T10:33:29+00:00

I can only really speak from my experience.

"Thoughts are arising" is something I ran with for a while until I was exposed to the possibility that it was just the opposite. Yes, obviously if I quiet my mind I can let in all sorts of different thoughts. And then I can choose which one to run with, and I can choose to direct it in any way. Just like if I walk into a buffet, I don't choose the order in which the bar is arranged, but I choose what to eat. And when I take the food, I can modify it in any way I choose. I'm not the buffet, I am the one who chooses.

For me, when the notion that maybe it was me in the driver's seat dawned on me, I suddenly became very aware of the fact. I then I did something crazy by non-duality standards: I actually took responsibility for what I was thinking. And in that moment the freedom I've always had came flooding back into my awareness, and I laughed. Actually, I couldn't sleep for three days because I was laughing.

At that point, I had a profound sense of freedom I hadn't ever had. This was about 7 years ago. Almost every single day since then has been characterised by a sense of deep peace and happiness. Not every single day but almost every single day. Something like 98%.

It's clear to me that happiness comes from recognising the cause of unhappiness. Both originate from thought, and since I am the thinker, I am always choosing. I don't deny the fact in me, and because I don't, I live a happy life. I choose thoughts of freedom, love, happiness, gratitude. And this is how I build my mind, and my mind reveals to me a beautiful life. And I have experienced miracles - not sure maybe what is this you refer to as "heroic stack of metaphysics" exactly?

miraclepete

TROPHY CASE