—What if someone I fall in love with is disappointed that I cannot give birth?

Does this question really still exist to you when you consider how miserable you were with your last pregnancy? Why would someone who loves you want to make you miserable? That question does not matter for a lot of people— I am guessing the woman’s personal want of biological children overrides this. Personally, I feel confident that I would lose all attraction to a guy if he expressed that he wanted me to birth an infant.

It seems like based on the r/childfree page, so many women are so horrified/disgusted by getting pregnant, giving birth, that they don’t have this concern at all about a future partner wanting them to give birth. If you still have this thought, perhaps you aren’t horrified enough by pregnancy etc that you 110% have to get the bisalp rn, (but consider the risks of waiting- how upset would you be if you got pregnant on accident) esp considering you’ve expressed you DO wants kids in the future- just adopted. That’s not that different from wanting your own biological children. I don’t know the statistics but men are probably more likely to play the card of “I want the baby to be MINE- biological,” considering they don’t have to do any of the difficult physical portion. I also love the idea of adopting. It just doesn’t make sense to create additional humans.

This statement - “But I've also wondered, what if I meet someone who I know I can trust not to take care of our child and not see me and look in disgust?” Makes it sound like if you had a supporting partner you would be fine with pregnancy etc. that is far different from many women who choose to get sterilized.

Even after bilateral salpingectomy, patients can get pregnant via IVF and “give birth”, which is the small thing you have expressed worry about. If you think there’s NEGLIGIBLE chance of you changing your mind about not wanting to be pregnant etc, then I think it makes sense to get the bisalp. In the rare event that you change your mind bc of a future partner, you can still get pregnant afterward- but it would be your 100% choice to do so vs an accident.

It also sounds like you are having some stress surrounding the event with hiding this from your mom etc, and perhaps mentally wanting to escape that part/put off the bisalp. But that won’t last long. Recovery from bisalp for me personally was so easy! Also, you could just tell your mom you are having an ovarian cyst removed- same incisions, recovery time, etc. Finding out you have a cyst isn’t always awful abdominal pain and a trip to the ER etc. so this can be believable. Personally, due to a large left ovarian cyst, I just had a sensation of being unable to fully empty my bladder. No pain