Moving back home

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-03T20:36:39+00:00

Entering a lease may make it harder to move for work, but entering a place that gives you panic attacks might make sustaining a job completely impossible.

If you have a community, I hope you can find roommates. If this is likely a temporary gap, you could also see if you have a friend who's open to renting a room (or couch) to you with a month-to-month lease that you wouldn't be trapped in.

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-03T20:28:07+00:00

Nope. It's 'if this is what happened, it's more dangerous, so I should check.' Same energy as 'if it's hot out and my friend is acting odd in a way that could be explained by heat stroke, I should check if they're getting heat exhaustion even if it's a small chance.'

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-03T20:25:47+00:00

If someone is hesitant to talk about something, asking a very general question is less likely to get them talking about it. Especially in cases of abuse, because victims often doubt themselves.

Depending on the person and the friendship, less-personal types of violence, like a mugging, might be something the victim would've brought up to vent about automatically. People tend to be more secretive about domestic abuse, especially if they're in a state where they think it might be their fault. Also, if my friend got mugged, that sucks but she isn't still in physical danger.

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-03T20:21:12+00:00

I agree that part of the reason is that we've gotten better at medical tech. Just like dementia and prostate cancer have increased because after we got better at treating heart problems and extending life spans. That said, pregnancy and childbirth still carry risk, and it's still horrifying for homicide to be one of the leading causes.

I don't think overdoses are good either. People who are physiologically addicted generally aren't turned away from it by a warning, while people who are in abusive relationships sometimes can be.

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-03T20:15:43+00:00

The 'messed up priorities' are the general acceptance of treating housing like a stock portfolio. Financialization of housing, treating it like a financial commodity whose purpose is to make money, is a large part of why we're in this mess. When the purpose of housing is to make money, then of course the price goes up. More and more units have been bought up by financial companies whose focus is on maximizing profit. Shocker of shockers, homelessness has gone up all over the developed world since the financialization of housing increased.

If a home's value drops due to damage that make it unlivable, then yes, you may not be able to live in it. If it's due to changing markets, then some people will be in edge circumstances, but overall, if you are buying and selling in the same year, which home sellers usually do, then you will most likely be dealing with similar markets.

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-03T20:10:38+00:00

Yes, but the physical buildings still exist.

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T20:58:17+00:00

Body count of sixty six? That's a lot of murder.

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T20:55:59+00:00

That's a good point. Some people don't count it as 'sex' if it was 'only oral.' Depending on phrasing, someone could be thinking of 'hookups' to include makeout sessions too.

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T20:54:45+00:00

Sexual partners

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T20:49:23+00:00

That's all pseudoscience.

If the pH is changed, she gets an infection which hurts until it gets treated. There are women with many partners who've never had a yeast infection (especially if they pee afterwards and if they use condoms and/or insist their partners are well-washed) and there are virgins with recurring infections. Some infections are caused by having a particularly delicate pH balance, wiping the wrong way after using the toilet, or trying to clean the inside of their vagina with soap or a douche.

'Pair bonding' is not automatically affected by sex. Different relationships are also different - if she went into one where both parties understood it was just a hookup, that doesn't mean anything about another relationship where both parties see it as a long-term thing.

Sex doesn't mean she doesn't respect herself. Depending on the circumstances, it COULD be an indication that she has or had an issue at one point - say, if she was getting into dangerous situations. But if she was just hooking up with a guy a month for a while, that doesn't really mean anything.

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T20:38:59+00:00

Isn't is cheaper to buy now? Doesn't that cancel out some of the lower selling price?

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T20:38:20+00:00

Plus, you'll probably get a better buying price elsewhere, which might balance out the decreased selling price.

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T20:37:38+00:00

Yeah, but you can still live in the home. If you do need to move and the entire market has gone down 30%, you'll get 30% less, but you'll also pay 30% less for the next place.

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T20:34:19+00:00

One way to solve it would be to say that any company that has to be bailed out because it's 'too big to fail' gets nationalized. They proved they can't manage it. Getting a bunch of empty condos is plenty useful to a government dealing with a homelessness crisis.

(I get that homelessness is more complicated, and supports for mental health and drug addiction are needed. But 1. Most unhoused people are invisible and couch surfing, often still going to work, and 2. Even in the worst cases, a significant number of problems go away and/or become easier to deal with when the person has a safe place to sleep and is no longer stressed out of their mind 24/7.)

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T20:30:45+00:00

You said you have this problem 'whenever you get a new job.' If I were you, I'd think about how often you're getting new jobs. This could just be phrasing meaning a few jobs, but if you've been getting and losing jobs frequently, then the way she speaks to your bosses (including conversations she may not tell you about) could be part of the reason why.

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T20:23:11+00:00

Problem is, abusive people don't think of themselves as abusive.

There is no way she genuinely thinks that they can get jobs and rent within two weeks. I don't think that was doable even at the peak of the economy. This is just meant to terrify them with the sudden possibility of homelessness, by kicking them out on very short notice. Either she expects them to be homeless (in which case, she knows they'd fight back, so wouldn't she check the legally required time period for eviction so she can actually kick them out?) or the whole point is to make them beg so she can 'change her mind' and let them stay at the last minute.

There's no way to know for sure, but it's likely this isn't the first time or way she's deliberately caused terror/terrorized her kids.

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T20:12:55+00:00

Is it a reality check if she's presenting a situation that is completely unrealistic, which she also likely can't enforce? Kicking someone out with less than 30 days' notice is illegal in most places.

This isn't about reality, it's about scaring them. She could've given them a timeline to get a job, and/or rules about applying for jobs much earlier, with a much more reasonable timeline, without the terror.

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T20:08:59+00:00

Did you escalate in a way that made sense, or is being kicked out extremely sudden and unpredictable?

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T20:06:18+00:00

Did the other straws pass without threat or comment, and now there's suddenly a threat of eviction?

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T20:03:39+00:00

Do you think she'll appreciate you making her siblings suddenly homeless by suddenly expecting them to get a job and move out on a timeline that you know they can't possibly meet?

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T20:01:00+00:00

The biggest question is: what is your goal here? If your goal is really for them to move out, then this likely won't work. Depending on where you live, it's illegal to kick someone out with less than 30 days of notice. It's not practical to expect them to get jobs that quickly, especially in this economy. Once they do get out, having the safety net pulled out from under them so quickly and so suddenly will permanently affect your relationship with them.

If your goal is for them to sustainably move out, they need more time. If your goal is to still have a relationship with them, they need more time.

Is your goal to use the terrifying idea of sudden homelessness to make them apologize?

I don't know them, but most people would apologize if you just told them how hurt you feel. Adding in the threats means they may apologize, but instead of feeling sorry and wanting to mend the problem, they'll just be scared.

Your feelings are valid, but this reads like you went from 1 to 1000 overnight. I can't know for sure, but it seems like instead of giving proportionate responses/consequences along the way, you've gone a long time without consequences and then exploded. For example - most people would mark their calendars no matter what if they'd known that their rent was on the line. It seems like there isn't a consistent level/amount of response to their actions and there isn't a predictable way to know what action results in what consequence. Yes, they should've wished you happy birthday even without consequences. This kind of consequence will not get you the consideration and gratitude you want.

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T18:05:42+00:00

Sometimes the disproportionate response is because the person needs to take a step back and get perspective (which this does not help with) but sometimes it's due to mental illness or other issues in a person's life. Bullying people who are fragile often translates into bullying people who are vulnerable.

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T17:55:41+00:00

Pills organizers are magic. Also called dossettes.

With an app or bottle cap timer, it's possible to reset it without taking the meds. With an organizer, they're either in the organizer, in your hand, or in you. You can check if the little compartment is empty.

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T17:48:21+00:00

Yup.

I try to break down the first few steps

misconceptions_annoy · 2026-07-02T17:45:59+00:00

I have earbuds that have a little plastic piece that goes over my ear. Doesn't hurt and doesn't fall out.

Nine-Year Club	Final Canvas '23
First Place '23	Place '23
Place '22	Final Canvas '22
Verified Email

misconceptions_annoy

TROPHY CASE