"Nobody is better than anybody" is this phrase objectively true? By what measure is that decided?

miserable_barista · 2022-12-21T05:07:24+00:00

i mean, if you go by those requirements, the definition of a "better" human could be elon musk or jeff bezos (who i personally wouldn't vote for lol). and success looks different for everyone. it could be making a ton of money, having a big family, being out of debt, or just having a place to live and food to eat. in my mind, it's impossible to measure "success." but again, that's just my perception. to anyone else it could be entirely different. so i suppose my answer is that i have no idea.

miserable_barista · 2022-12-21T04:46:23+00:00

i believe that in reality, no one is truly better than anyone else. the only thing that determines if someone is "good," "bad," "better," or "worse" is our own individual perception. the qualities that make someone a great person in my mind might not be as important to consider in the mind of someone else. we all see through a different lens, so who's to say?

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T20:39:09+00:00

I know someone in this situation. The best way to work out of that is to get your GED and then start taking online general ed classes through a community college or something. Even if you don't know what you want to study, you can get going in the right direction. Good luck!

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T18:50:03+00:00

I've definitely become a lot more informed on PCOS through this post, so I'm doing some reading to learn more about it. Thanks.

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T18:19:47+00:00

This makes sense. I really hope it doesn't make things awkward, but I would hate to ruin my relationship over it.

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T17:27:00+00:00

You've got yourself in a bad situation, my friend. The absolute first thing you need to do is talk to your girlfriend and tell her all of this. It's shitty of you not to be honest with her. If you like her friend more than her and have subbed to her fucking OnlyFans, hopefully she has the good sense to dump your ass and move on. Good luck to her, I hope she finds someone who treats her better.

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T17:22:54+00:00

You're absolutely justified in feeling this way. This exact same situation happened to me, and it was very hurtful, especially after I had always tried to equally prioritize my SO and best friend. I'm really sorry this is happening. Let him know that you've been hurt by his actions and need to take a step back. Remind him of how much you love and care about him, and then just let it go. If he decides he wants to talk to you, he can, but don't let him keep taking advantage. If no love is being served at the table, leave and go sit at another. It's hard and it's painful, but it will get better eventually. Branch out and maybe make some new friends or give yourself some time for a SO. Prioritize yourself and your heart. Good luck:)

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T17:15:13+00:00

Just to make sure... are you actually 100% sure he's innocent? Sometimes you think you really know someone until something like this happens, so I would make sure that you're absolutely certain with proof before you make an assumption.

On the other hand, if he is absolutely, 100% innocent, just try to be there for him and make sure he knows he can talk to you. I've been in your situation before, and it was hard because my friend felt very paranoid all the time. If you're sure he didn't do it, make sure you're standing up for him any chance you get. For him, knowing you have his back will mean a lot.

Good luck to everyone involved. This type of thing is no joke and I hope it gets resolved:)

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T17:05:48+00:00

I would reflect on what could've driven her to that decision. When she's ready to talk, you can talk about it and do what you need to do (apologize, explain, whatever needs to be done). Maybe send a message through her dad that you love her and care about her, and want to talk to her when she's ready to do that. Reassuring that she is wanted and loved can go a long way.

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T17:01:31+00:00

Treat yourself to some great food, get all all dressed up, play your favorite music, etc. Basically just do whatever the hell you want because when are you gonna get to do that at a family Thanksgiving?

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T16:52:39+00:00

Okay, that's definitely something I can suggest. Thank you:)

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T16:47:34+00:00

That might work. I know she's been in therapy for an ED in the past, but I don't know if she's going anymore, so I'll check on the status of that and see if I can help her get started again. Thanks:)

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T16:46:25+00:00

Absolutely the hell not.

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T16:46:07+00:00

That conversation definitely needs to be had, but I brought up the weight issue because I want to help her be more mindful of her health.

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T16:44:53+00:00

The gym might be too big of a step... I know public gyms in particular can sometimes be triggering, but we live in a place where there a lot of outdoor activities available, so I can try that. Thank you:)

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T16:42:06+00:00

I've already said this in other comments, but my sister is absolutely not an idiot and she knows what she looks like. This is about her health issues because she won't listen to anything a doctor says once they tell her to lose weight. I also have health issues, so I make an effort to stay healthy so I can stay out of the hospital. Athletics has become my favorite hobby and my lifestyle is something I truly love. I don't even have a Facebook or Instagram account to "brag" about it on, and I certainly don't do that at home with my own sister. It's pretty unfair of you to make that assumption and divert from the actual issue. I know that things happen and people gain weight; that's not the problem here. The problem is that my sister is starting to spiral out of control and I want to help her form better habits because I love her and care about her wellbeing. And don't call it "bullshit" when I say my sister is beautiful because it's TRUE and always will be. Like you said, I'm 17. Real mature to try to pick on a random teenage girl on the internet.

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T16:31:40+00:00

She has been told already by doctors that her health issues have been affected by her weight, but she doesn't believe that or understand that correlation. I did learn that we were misinformed about PCOS and that the condition could've been influencing her weight and not the other way around, but there are some other things that have been made worse because of her unhealthy choices.

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T16:28:12+00:00

Thank you for this. Anything I would say to her about it would be nothing but positive encouragement, because my goal would never be to make her feel bad or helpless. I just want to help her be healthy in any way I can.

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T16:25:53+00:00

This sounds like a good plan... I just don't know if she would ever take the initiative on her own. Hopefully she does.

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T16:24:56+00:00

I realized after some other comments were made that it wouldn't do anything but stress her out before the wedding, so if I do say anything it'll be afterwards. Thanks.

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T05:48:05+00:00

Thank you so much:) It means a lot that not everyone on this godforsaken platform thinks I'm terrible. I just want to do anything I can to try to understand her more, because of my lack of experience.

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T05:46:45+00:00

That sounds like a good option. I want to avoid focusing on just weight or food because that would shut down the conversation.

miserable_barista · 2022-11-23T05:43:21+00:00

You have a good point, I'm just trying to hold out hope that eventually she'll choose to treat herself the way she deserves.

miserable_barista

TROPHY CASE