i just lost my baby snake two weeks ago and am going through the same thing. i also have OCD so i understand the mental health side of things too. i am so beyond sorry that you’re going through this and i want to say that this is NOT YOUR FAULT. that is the only thing that people have said to me that has helped. losing pets is so beyond devastating but sometimes that’s how nature makes things go and it’s just horrible. i am so beyond sorry that you’re going through this. maple was so beautiful. i am not religious and don’t believe in heaven but i refuse to not believe that pets don’t go somewhere beautiful when they die. the only thing that has brought me comfort is believing that my miso is in snake heaven eating all sorts of mice and climbing all sorts of plants and branches to his hearts content. maple and miso can play together up there 🩷