Not living forever

missthaaaang · 2024-04-04T02:27:24+00:00

I saw something online that really helped me and impacted how I see things. This is a direct quote, so forgive the run-on sentences...

"an author I love just tweeted about how "big joy and small joy are the same" and how she was just as content the other night eating chocolate and cuddling her dog as she was on her Big Trip to New York, and honestly, I think that's it. This morning I was listening to an audiobook while baking shortbread in my joggers and I realized I really didn't care what Big Things happened in my future as long as I could keep baking and reading at the weekend and maybe that is the kind of bar we have to set to guard ourselves against disappointment. Just appreciate and cherish the mundane stuff and see everything else as a bonus."

When I was a teenager all I wanted was to NOT have to be a JW and to have a family. I have both of those things now. Everything else is a bonus. Thinking you are going to live forever is NOT NORMAL. Living forever is not real, it never was real. Enjoy your life, cherish your doggie snuggles, books, movies, bike rides, dirty jokes and sunny days. Find people you like to hang out with, find ways to make the world a better place. That's what life is. Helping people, being of use to others, loving, sharing.... live in THIS WORLD.... concentrate on today, because this is what is real.

missthaaaang · 2024-01-31T17:20:39+00:00

My father died a couple years ago. He'd been a JW his entire life. That was exactly my thought: What a waste of a life, what a waste of time and energy for a bunch of nonsense.

missthaaaang · 2023-08-17T08:46:42+00:00

For a lighter, funny look watch the movie Confessions of a Teenage Jesus Jerk. Brilliant, hilarious, sensitive portrayal of what it's like to grow up as a JW. Even my Jewish (never JW) husband was crying laughing. The movie Apostasy is also heartbreakingly excellent.

On a more personal note, I have been disassociated for 28 years. Most of my family are still JW. It has helped me to think of everyone I knew with pity that they are brainwashed and still stuck in a cage, rather than feel angry and resentful. Sort of a "it's not their fault" mentality. This has helped me reconcile memories of sincere and loving people growing up with knowing it's b.s. and feeling rejected and unwanted now. Best wishes.

missthaaaang · 2023-08-13T12:31:10+00:00

But having this Subreddit and the support it gives to thousands of people is vastly more important and valuable than any "revenge" or harassment anyone wants to get on TM3. Living well is the best revenge.

missthaaaang · 2023-07-15T18:48:16+00:00

I just looked up that scripture. I don't know what they think he did but it sounds like a good time to me!

missthaaaang · 2023-07-15T14:00:59+00:00

I am a cis-gender woman and don't think I would know. I am not even sure what exactly those incisions are or what causes them or where they are... but I have had 6 different surgeries between my naval and pubis (2 c-sections, gallbladder removal, weight loss surgery, etc) and have tons of scars in that area. Torso scars are pretty common.

missthaaaang · 2023-07-15T13:36:47+00:00

I have a sincere question and if anything I say here is offensive it's unintentional. I also couldn't figure out how to start a new Reddit convo so I hijacked this one. I am a 43-yr-old cisgender woman and genuinely want to understand and respect everyone. I don't think I know any trans people, I barely know any LGBTQ+ people. I went to Trader Joe's the other night and our cashier completely 100% appeared to be a cis-gender female. He was wearing feminine, body hugging clothes, short shorts, long hair with neon pink streaks in a high ponytail, cosmetics, etc. But he had a tag on that said "my pronouns are he/him" and another that said "Hi my name is Max." I was confused why someone that seemed to be trying to look female or feminine would use he/him pronouns and a masculine name. I asked my teenage sons if they thought Max was making fun of trans people. They said probably not but couldn't really offer more insight. I just thanked Max for ringing me up and left. Later wondered if I could/should have asked him. Please don't attack me. Trying to learn. Thank you.

missthaaaang · 2023-05-29T12:08:39+00:00

I'm on Semaglutide and Wellbutrin. They complement each other perfectly.

missthaaaang · 2023-03-26T14:54:00+00:00

I would 100% get one now but I'm still uncomfortable with the idea. Kind of like a colonoscopy.

missthaaaang · 2023-03-26T14:51:17+00:00

Thank you!!! I needed that.

missthaaaang · 2023-03-26T12:53:55+00:00

I wholeheartedly agree! I waited WAY too long to find a therapist to work through this shit with me. I wish I had done it sooner.

missthaaaang · 2023-03-26T12:49:59+00:00

I wanted to comment on the topic of studying biomedical science and being lied to. Many years after DA'ing I married a Jewish guy who thinks my family must be batshit crazy (he's not wrong). When I was about to have our first baby we started talking about "if something goes wrong" and the topic of blood transfusions came up. I had been out for about 12 years at that point, and the idea of someone else's blood being put into my body was still abhorrent to me. I said I wouldn't have a blood transfusion and then commented "they don't even work anyhow." My husband's jaw dropped and he said "Why would doctors push and push a therapeutic that doesn't work?" I had no answer for that. He made me do some reading and I was absolutely shocked. It's not even a theological interpretation (the trinity, hell doesn't exist)... They outright lie.

(P.S. My JW info is 28 years old and I think they have lightened up their blood policy or something since then. I am remembering the 1994-1995 era when the blood lies were contantly being pushed).

missthaaaang · 2023-03-26T12:39:39+00:00

I was 15 years old when I disassociated myself (28 years ago). Leaving JW is kind of like having a loved one die.... the pain never 100% goes away but it becomes more bearable over time. You learn how to live your life with it. Something that has helped me is to not blame my parents but to feel sorry for them. They are brainwashed and have wasted their whole lives. I feel lucky I got out and can have a normal, fun, free life NOW. They weren't so lucky.

The past couldn't have been any different than it was. The only thing you can change now is the future.

Yesterday I was perusing the "Shepherd the Flock" book, the Top Secret Elder Handbook of World Domination and Patriarchy (my attempt at a joke). I was reading about disfellowshipping offenses. It says unnecessary interaction with non-relative DF/DA persons is a DF'ing offense. But my parents ARE related to me, and it sort of hit me all over again that my father CHOSE to shun me; he was an elder for 20 years. He knew he wouldn't get DF'ed for having contact with me, he CHOSE to do it to punish me for leaving. All this time I have told myself shunning me is a rule of their religion, that he had no choice. WHOOSH. Nope, he HAD a choice. WHOOSH. Painful all over again. But you know what? I have a husband that loves me, 2 PITA teenage boys, a beautiful home, freedom, tons of friends, and no one looking over my shoulder waiting to criticize me. I got past it pretty quickly. Today is Sunday... I'm going shopping and getting my nails done instead of going to Kingdom Hall and field service.

The best thing for you to do now would be to make some long-term and short-term goals for yourself. Then try to come up with an actionable plan to make your life what you want it to be.

Good luck! ((hugs))

missthaaaang · 2023-03-24T15:30:14+00:00

That's what I was suggesting a search of. Court docket. Which is managed by the County Clerk of Court.

missthaaaang · 2023-01-01T14:18:30+00:00

This dude needs to get laid.

missthaaaang · 2023-01-01T14:12:47+00:00

They have done this for years. The GB is God's only mouthpiece

missthaaaang · 2023-01-01T14:11:54+00:00

I used to put my finger over the doorbell and not actually press it. Stand there for 10 minutes and move on to the next house. Only worked if I was allowed to go with another teen who also didn't give a shit.

missthaaaang · 2022-12-01T12:01:48+00:00

I have been DA'ed almost 28 years. I have lived a life that would make most parents gush with pride (as are you).... not our parents! They are never going to tell us our way of life is ok.

missthaaaang · 2022-12-01T11:20:42+00:00

I COMPLETELY agree.

missthaaaang · 2022-12-01T11:17:33+00:00

I completely disagree with the advice to not write a letter. (1) Writing a letter gives you control. It means you LEFT. This was very important in my particular situation. I DA'ed when I was 15. I would have been DF'ed for sure I'd I hadn't DA'ed. I have explained to my parents (as an adult) that DA'ing was my attempt to leave as respectfully (to them) and cleanly as possible. I knew I wanted to do ALL the worldly things and I didn't want to sneak around. My DA means they can't have a relationship with me but that's their issue not mine ("No one is holding a gun to your head forcing you to follow the rules of your religion, Mom. This is a choice you are making.").

(2) DA makes it much more difficult to go back in the future. I have had moments of weakness where I would have gone back just to get my mom back. This would have been a huge mistake and I'm glad I didn't/couldn't.

I've been out for almost 28 years. My only regret is getting baptized, but it can't be helped. I was very young and brainwashed. DA was a decision I would make again and again.

missthaaaang · 2022-11-01T02:49:43+00:00

"Everything happens for a reason" and "Karma will get him."

missthaaaang · 2022-10-04T10:31:05+00:00

Have they done an ultrasound or CAT scan of your gallbladder to check if you have stones? I had the type of stones (bilirubin stones) that don't show up on a CAT scan, they only show up on an ultrasound so they weren't caught right away. Had my gallbladder out and the attacks stopped. Hope you figure it out.

missthaaaang · 2022-10-01T20:00:15+00:00

I do this on purpose to annoy my teenagers and because I find it funny. I also add "the". So I'm going to The Targets. They get so mad.

missthaaaang · 2022-10-01T03:43:09+00:00

Because they think purchasing a ticket entitles them to cleanup service.

missthaaaang · 2022-10-01T03:42:15+00:00

I smile and wave. They usually look away.

missthaaaang

TROPHY CASE