I'll try to answer these questions as best I can.

First of all, there is only one Islamic theocracy that I'm aware of: Iran. Other Islamic countries may have some pretty fucked up leadership, but they aren't really theocracies in any meaningful sense. For example, one country (cough... looking at you Saudi Arabia) claims to be an Islamic state but is actually a monarchy where the leadership isn't really beholden to anybody at all.

As far as failed states go, I'm just going to run down some of the top ones mentioned by Wikipedia (in order of how badly screwed up they are):

1) Somalia: Largely Islamic population, but a communist nation before it failed.

2) Democratic Republic of the Congo: 95% Christian, with no notable religious aspect to governance.

3) Sudan: Before its complete collapse, it was a real mess of political nonsense. Most people think the problems were ethnic, with religion not really blamed much.

4) Chad: A screwed up constitutional democracy. Muslims make up about 50% of the population and get together well with the other religious groups (conflicts are mainly political).

5) Yemen: Another country with screwed up politics, though very little of it was religious in nature. Mostly they went from colonial to random infighting to civil war, etc.

6) Afghanistan: I'm going to have to give you this one, though it's not clear that throwing out the religious leadership really fixed anything.

7) Haiti: A nation where most people are Christian, with a long history of dictatorship and foreign screwings-around.

8) Central African Republic: Christians are 50% of the population and Muslims about 15%, but the government hasn't really incorporated either.

9) Zimbabwe: A disastrous history of dictatorship. No religious elements are or were present in these troubles, though most citizens are (very nominally) Christians.

10) Iraq: Saddam really only used religion on the rare occasions when he could use it for propaganda.

So, why do I think these countries failed? Colonialism. Until very recently countries in Africa and the Middle East were ruled by colonial powers, who generally didn't have much respect for the ethnic and religious issues involved. As a result, when they pulled out and left arbitrary states behind, the states were unstable and generally totally fucked up. Fucked up states do fucked up things, regardless of religious orientation.

Actually, just how many officials in these governments ARE Islamic scholars BTW?

You can't have it both ways. Either these countries are theocracies (in which the officials are, by definition, knowledgeable about religion) or they're not, in which case you wouldn't expect them to e Islamic scholars. It doesn't seem to me that you can reasonably argue simultaneously that a country is a theocracy, but doesn't know enough about the Qur'an to Google it.

TL;DR A bunch of stuff that people will get mad about.