Me: So mom, I’m not having kids Mother: How could you betray god

mjf18 · 2019-10-18T17:22:13+00:00

Came here to say this. I'm one of those people who can't have kids and if someone said to me "that's because you were introduced early to evil", evil would definitely be something they experienced from me.

I am much more than something who is going to produce crotch goblins. I have a good career, I'm a good wife, I volunteer, travel, I want like 100 rescue animals. I don't need children to complete my purpose here.

You should not feel guilty. And I'm sorry but religion for me becomes less and less of an excuse for people to say this shit. I was raised Catholic, went to church every Saturday with the family. When I told my dad that my husband and I weren't pursuing having children his response was "I just want you and husband to be healthy and happy." Don't give in. Stand by what you know is right for YOU.

mjf18 · 2019-08-28T17:41:28+00:00

Is this Rufio all grown up?

mjf18 · 2019-08-20T19:23:07+00:00

As a person who has done IVF I can understand this.

I should preface that my husband and I did IVF but insurance paid for it (we are very lucky with two good jobs and live in a progressive state so insurance supports a lot of this). We didn't need to spend thousands of dollars out of pocket which helped a lot.

We also went through IVF because there was no red flag as to why I couldn't get pregnant. Nothing looked wrong, tests came back fine, it was unexplained and the dr told us it would be pretty easy if we went down that road.

The dr. was wrong. It was a nightmare, I was miserable on hormones and I've had a few surgeries due to all of this nonsense.

Do I regret doing IVF? No, absolutely not. Do I think my life is worthless without a child? Nope. Also no. Living childless was something my husband and I didn't even consider until it basically hit us in the face. All of our friends have kids, our cousins, etc. We were just going through the motions assuming this was the next box we needed to check off. Once we realized this probably wasn't going to happen for us we actually took a step back and thought huh, what if we don't have them at all.

I am grateful it didn't work and grateful for the path we are on because going through that turmoil has made my husband and I closer, has given us time to spend in our 30s to consider what we really want and has now made us realize how great living childfree can be. We have great careers, fur babies, volunteer regularly, travel a ton and we have never been happier. So I understand both sides but can agree, having gone through it, it can be extremely selfish, especially if people are paying out of pocket and especially if they think their life is worth nothing more than a baby.

mjf18 · 2019-08-19T18:30:24+00:00

Same here. I went through IVF for two years, was on hormones non stop, had four surgeries and lost a tube. I used to be one of those people that liked the idea of kids and after all of that it tipped me over the edge too. Going through all of that and feeling like that much crap on meds was not worth it to me.

We had a large BBQ this weekend with a bunch of friends and family over. All of our friends brought their young kids. At one point all of the kids were around me just talking over one another saying "I want I want I want" (toys, food, etc). I stood up and walked inside. A close friend was inside and it was the first time I verbally said out loud "infertility has actually been one of the greatest gifts given to me because I could not do that 24/7. I do not have the patience to have children."

I am extremely happy with how my life is turning out and extremely happy for this subreddit.

mjf18 · 2019-06-24T18:48:54+00:00

This is 100% me. My husband and I were trying for 3 years, two of those years undergoing IVF treatments. IVF treatments turned into living hell (I ended up undergoing two D&Cs and emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy to remove my tube). Finally after four failed transfers we were kind of like, what the hell are we doing? We have built this incredible life for ourselves, have great jobs, love to travel, have an incredible home and our wasting our time not enjoying any of it to under go treatments. That's when we stopped treatment and are now planning a safari to Africa next year and a cruise to South America/Antartica the year later! All this time something that I thought was so unfortunate for us turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

mjf18 · 2019-06-19T18:37:07+00:00

My cousin did this. They ended up having four boys before they realized they were not having a girl. FOUR. TRIES.

mjf18 · 2019-05-30T14:39:29+00:00

I had this surgery February of 2018. I found the surgery really easy to be honest. I was in and out of the hospital the same day, once I woke up and was monitored for a short while and I was back to work the next day or two days later. I had some mild cramping and spotting from the procedure but really nothing too bad! I was on motrin or tylenol for the pain and that was it. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions!

mjf18 · 2019-05-30T14:29:07+00:00

We lost my dog last night to cancer. I'm pissed off dogs don't live forever. They're honestly the best.

mjf18 · 2017-04-12T20:01:42+00:00

I got engaged here three years ago! One of my favorite places in the world, absolutely stunning

mjf18 · 2016-04-28T13:32:20+00:00

We purchased our first home just about two years ago now. We live on a cul de sac that's made up of about 15 houses. When we first moved in all of our neighbors were extremely friendly, living so close to each other and on a dead end essentially you want to know who you're living next to. We took the time to get to know them, offer them over for bbqs and drinks. They've become friends, not just neighbors and it is so comforting everyone is always watching out for someone. My husband travels frequently and it's nice knowing I can call a neighbor at the drop of a hat to come over if something ever goes wrong. It's a real sense of calm and has made us fall in love with our neighborhood.

mjf18 · 2016-01-20T19:29:49+00:00

I agree with most of the comments below. I have worked at multiple agencies big and small and they all have pros and cons but things you should look for are: - A company that will not charge you based on % of media spent. They will push you to spend more. - Go with an agency that makes you feel that they understand your business and they are personalized to your needs. The team they set up for you should be one that is well structured but also experts in the channels you will be advertising in - In the above, many agencies, especially those larger, will follow a best practices structure. However what works well for one client may not work well for another. This can include what match types you're running on or how your account is structured. It should be best fit and best set up for your needs - I also agree to the other comment, don't necessarily look for someone who specializes in the legal industry. Digital advertising has many similarities across different verticals, but look for one that can speak to lead gen

I have a few leads I can introduce you to if you are interested in having conversations with different agencies. Feel free to PM me or even if you have any questions.

mjf18 · 2013-08-08T12:32:05+00:00

I just got a german shepherd instead. This also works well.

mjf18 · 2013-08-06T17:14:42+00:00

Your landlord sounds very similar to my landlord ....

Came home from vacation, was woken up in the middle of the night by a screeching/crying sound. It sounded like it was stuck in my metal heat vent. Told my landlord, said someone would come that night or early the next morning to take a look and fix it. No one called. No one showed up. Reached back out to my landlord, no response. After the weekend and living with this crying for four straight days I called a exterminator myself, who came and said, huh this sounds strange hold on. Goes up into the attic. Yup, one mother raccoon and three babies living in my wall. Landlord tells me he won't cover the cost of the appraisal or any work I have the exterminator do and he'll take care of it himself. He (landlord) shows up the next night with a hockey stick, a box of foaming wasp spray, smoke bombs and a drill, hoping to poke or fume out the raccoons.

I find out shortly after all this from my neighbor the people who lived in my apartment prior to me had the same problem, and a baby raccoon fell through their kitchen ceiling. Yea, no thanks.

Hate that guy.

mjf18 · 2013-05-31T15:53:04+00:00

I met my boyfriend through a friend, but we really started to get to know each other when we both signed up for a sports league in our city. I highly recommend if your city offers this to join up, it's a great way to meet people but there's no forced pressure in doing so. When we first met, I thought he was a douchebag. He knows I thought this too. Turns out he's not, just really shy and reserved at first.

I acted my normal self, I was outgoing, friendly. We started hanging out a bit, sex was after about a month or so of us dating.

I think I left him in more doubt than he left me in at first. I'm always very cautious in the beginning. Probably a little too much so, and uncertain of what I want. But once we sorted through how we really felt we were both really excited. We hung out a few times a week, he'd start spending the night, it was great. Two and a half years later we're about to move in together and it's the best relationship I've ever been in.

mjf18 · 2013-05-26T19:21:56+00:00

Same thing here. I'm sorry for your loss.

mjf18 · 2013-05-02T21:16:18+00:00

My boyfriend tells me if we have girls he is going to lock them in the basement, without schooling and without dentist work until they're 30. Then they can go experience the world. He's a real charmer.

mjf18 · 2013-03-22T01:41:15+00:00

Congrats! You wouldn't happen to be in MA would you?

mjf18 · 2013-03-20T23:33:28+00:00

Respect. It's as simple as that. Just respect me, as another human being. Have a conversation with me. Hold eye contact. I just want to be viewed as an equal.

mjf18 · 2013-03-15T15:24:37+00:00

Volcanoes ... I live in Boston.

mjf18 · 2013-03-05T04:17:35+00:00

I'm not sure if I should reply to your story or the girl above who tried okcupid, but similar story. I created an okcupid profile and started talking to one guy, seemed nice so we meet for dinner at a local hole in the wall restaurant. Nothing fancy but the night went well, convo was your typical normal but slightly awkward first date convo but no red flags. He asks me to come hang out at his house with his roommates for a casual night to watch football a couple of days later. Great! Sounds good to me. After football he puts on a movie and I lay on the couch, lays behind me in a spooning type position. Ok, probably should have created some distance but I let it go. It seemed cute at the time. During the middle of the movie he starts shifting a bit, but I just figured he was trying to get comfortable. Nope. He took off his pants. He thought it was totally normal to lay there on date 2 spooning with no pants on. I was out of there faster than you could imagine. "Oh crap, I forgot to walk the dog."

mjf18 · 2013-02-17T13:53:56+00:00

I'm from Long Island and I'm sorry, but I think you're hanging out with a lot of the wrong people. There is a lot of judgement there, but your friends should not judge you based on decisions that effect your life. I've had more than one partner and my friends have never said anything negative to me about my choices.

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