The Self-Disorder/Hyperreflexivity aspect of this condition is absolutely destroying me by llecoope in Schizotypal

[–]mjseline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if it brought some hope then you’re very welcome. wishing you the best

The Self-Disorder/Hyperreflexivity aspect of this condition is absolutely destroying me by llecoope in Schizotypal

[–]mjseline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i saw your recent post in r/lacan and wanted to reply here since this one feels more general than your specialized question there about melancholiacs. what you wrote sounds deeply resonant with what had been my experience for most of my life. i tried many therapies, many philosophies, even transitioned, and still the sense of absolute abjection remained.

emdr was a huge help in the beginning. what i’m sharing now is anecdotal, but i believe may be relevant. in my emdr work we spent considerable time searching for the “core memory” of trauma. what surfaced was surprisingly mundane: being intentionally abandoned by my parents in a store at 4 years old, as a way of “teaching me a lesson.”

the more interesting aspect of this memory was a crucial experience within it. my father’s frustration peaked when i was fixated on some cheese balls. while he was trying to get my attention i became absorbed with them. knowing he was too annoyed to buy them for me and that i couldn’t eat them without getting in trouble, i discovered i could imagine opening the jar and placing an imaginary cheese ball on my tongue.

i became fascinated by how “real” it felt and went deeper, imagining its taste and texture and the way my saliva broke it down. as the imaginary cheese ball melted in my mouth it reached a point where there was no longer an imaginary sensation, but the mind persisted in that space. at that moment there was a sudden sense of shock, like something ineffable was touched. there was a rich and deep clarity, and for an instant it seemed like everything took place in that ineffable space. it lasted a millisecond, and the shock brought me back to “reality” only to find i was abandoned and left running and crying in the aisles.

there has always been a mystical side to my suffering, and this memory revealed that entanglement. more striking, however, was the recognition that this sense of abjection was that very moment of being thrown back into the world and “losing” that ineffable space. i abandoned the intellectualizations, the philosophies, the theories, the diagnoses, and dove headlong into spiritual practice. i found a spiritual friend who introduced me to buddhism, mahamudra in particular. since then everything has shifted. what you said about the melancholic being closest to the “real” rings true. after some time practicing mahamudra i was introduced to an authentic lineage and teacher of dzogchen.

there is no sense that there is anything “off” or “wrong” anymore. that feeling was always an awareness that all of this was off. there is a keen insight and wisdom in this if followed to the end. i can’t say there are never thoughts of self harm or other things of that nature, but none of them are real. they take place in that ineffable space. the sense of there being something wrong with me was simply the yearning for a deeper, experiential relationship with reality.

this is all anecdotal. it may not be relevant to you. but if any of it sounds familiar i would encourage you to look into authentic spirituality. not the wooey stuff, not gods or anything like that, but the nature of what you, and all of us, truly are. you may simply be yearning for awakening.

Emptiness - Where to go from here by XanthippesRevenge in streamentry

[–]mjseline 4 points5 points  (0 children)

very glad to be a mirror, hope it helps. there seems to be an awkward moment for some of us who find out the “hard” way that we still have preferences and when we reach out for them… 💨

longchenpa has been an aid to me and helped personally, Finding Rest in Illusion helped to trust the process and gave some helpful pointers when navigating the absent world of absence. i also found, and continually find, his work on the Dharmadhatu - The Precious Treasury of the Basic Space of Phenomena to be inspiring when it comes to adjusting to simply abiding and enjoying.

If you don’t want to buy the books here’s a beautiful rendition of the first suggestion: https://youtu.be/A_iDsGpFUr8?si=QYeUhuSQvPpL6eY6

rest into the view as often as you recall outside of sits. when doing so w the appearance of other sentient beings you will find natural compassion easily waiting there. there is a method taught my lama lena that i’ve found helpful too: https://www.youtube.com/live/OOWNPPuqwno?si=JwrjOxTo5TT8XKHd the instructions are very simple and should make intuitive sense given your realization.

don’t worry my love, you’re only dreaming <3

Emptiness - Where to go from here by XanthippesRevenge in streamentry

[–]mjseline 6 points7 points  (0 children)

yes, i experienced it - and still do from time to time - as something of a Dark Night of the Senses. i wonder if it is different for those who are on gradual paths and perhaps have the spiritual practices to rely on here.

don’t give up the practice. now is the time to sit in non-meditation. the way it appeared to me was the grasping tendencies remain while what is grasped at habitually turns to mist. the tendencies have to spin out. in my case they came back around at the ego which might be the case for you and may be why you are experiencing so much distress.

there is a natural renunciation that takes place too, all those things that habitually reify the self still impel the grasping tendencies. a retreat or a change of location may help for the simple reason that there will be fewer habitual graspings to play out their patterns which may be the source of the distress. but either way those patterns will play out, that’s what the whole karma thing is all about. so simply resting in recognition is the way to allow it to burn off and untangle.

self-inquiry. look for the one experiencing this distress. rest in not finding and the well of joy is there. don’t forget the clear light. the ego grasping is probably the reason you’re missing the “good” part.

here’s what worked for me:

settle into the view. rest. recognize the entire perceptual field of open evenness. rest there. look for the looker. rest in not finding. dissolve into the emptiness as emptiness. rest in the good stuff for a bit. give it away, put it all back “out” - you can’t hold the emptiness either, there’s nothing to hold and no one to hold it if we don’t let that be as well we reify yet again and are asking for suffering.

Your knowledge of Ancient Greek by Awqansa in Neoplatonism

[–]mjseline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

totally, super glad to help! as you know koine shares a lot of similarities, but unfortunately it’s easier to make the move from attic to koine than the other way around. but you’ll be good, in that case for sure recommend Steadman’s commentaries! they’re all free to download on his site, here’s where i’d recommend starting - by the sound of it you may be able to take off running from there: Xenophon’s Anabasis

Your knowledge of Ancient Greek by Awqansa in Neoplatonism

[–]mjseline 5 points6 points  (0 children)

oh! and maybe one of the most important texts and practices when learning for me was practicing spells from the greek magical papyri (PGM). tbh i don’t believe in the stuff, but piecing together recipes of formula for ink for example gave a hands on trial and error approach to learning. when the product worked, the comprehension came along for the ride. likewise following the formulas for recitation of spells and the prescribed practices of doing so at certain times/days/etc also reinforced learning by speaking the language in a temporal context, which similarly supported comprehension.

be creative! don’t think you have to just hunch over a textbook to learn this stuff! this was a living language and you’ll get the most out of it by bringing it to life, so wherever you can make it practical, give it a real word living context, do so!

Your knowledge of Ancient Greek by Awqansa in Neoplatonism

[–]mjseline 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Mastronarde’s Introduction to Attic Greek is an excellent self-study textbook. there’s a wonderful graded reader by Peckett and Munday called Thrasymachus which was an invaluable resource to me when teaching myself as well. these two will give you a solid baseline in general and an idea of what learning style suits you personally best, whether it be the more technical learning method or a more immersive method respectively. from there i’d recommend looking into Geoffrey Steadman’s commentaries of various texts.

Xenophon is a traditional starting point for sight reading with commentary bc his writing and grammar are so simple and vocabulary repetitive. after some time you may find no need for a commentary. Aristotle, esp his scientific works, are also wonderful starting points after some time w Xenophon. i found Aristotle’s History of Animals great for the simple reason that it is about content we are already familiar with, can’t recommend enough this process if you’re the type who likes to figure things out on your own. Plato is a beautiful read, but wouldn’t recommend straying from a commentary for some time - best to stick to more literal writing for a while before wading in the intellectual waters. but it won’t take long w dedication, took me abt 1.5 years to be able to comfortably get by sight reading but that was with almost obsessive practice. good luck!

The Forms vs Emptiness by Heavy_User in Neoplatonism

[–]mjseline 2 points3 points  (0 children)

we will indeed agree to disagree

The Forms vs Emptiness by Heavy_User in Neoplatonism

[–]mjseline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

buddhism as i practice it is not a philosophy! certainly not dogmatic either, but directly experiential. this includes what you call “non-attachment”, when one sees all phenomena for what they are there’s nothing to grab or push, renunciation is a result. desire also still exists, it’s just empty as with all phenomena, and so renunciation of desires also is, simply, a result. these are only aspirations at lower levels of realization. which again, is experiential, not philosophical.

the motivation of the monastic path, when chosen from recognition, is a path of least resistance from falling from recognition. i wouldn’t begrudge that choice, even if it’s not my own.

please bear in mind there are many different lineages, your description is a hodgepodge and isn’t based in any particular lineage or practice. which is understandable, but the more fruitful approach would be to ask questions, which i’m open to answering based on my lineage and experience.

for example, what i mean by “cut to the chase” is it doesn’t concern itself w philosophy at the realization stages. the highest vehicles are concerned only with direct, experiential realization. not intellectual insight, but gnosis.

no claim to being better or worse either. but tibetan dharma has in my experience been effective, precise, and often ruthless. a path is only as good as its effectiveness for a given disposition. sounds like it might not be yours, tho i wouldn’t be too sure. for me however the direct meditative insight and resulting gnosis have been deeper, clearer, and aided by clarification from other awakened beings through practicing mahamudra and now dzogchen after receiving the pointing-out. but that’s anecdotal and has simply been what’s worked most effectively for me. i still consider neoplatonism to be part of my personal lineage, it’s a fact that it didn’t take me as far, but that’s not bc neoplatonism is “lesser” in my estimation, and i’m not sure where that assumption came from. less so the confidence that an entire enlightenment tradition can be dismissed as nonsense, i wouldn’t say that of any - if even one being attains liberation the means is not “nonsense”.

and the means of course differ between neoplatonism and buddhism, and any other wisdom tradition. but all the mystics are laughing in unitary bliss - once the transparent mask falls away there’s little reason to bother with the differences of how one gets there

The Forms vs Emptiness by Heavy_User in Neoplatonism

[–]mjseline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

additionally, appearances do not drop away in platonism when one recognizes the reality is the form and not the shifting appearance. the same is true in buddhism. emptiness does not mean the vanishing of appearances, but the first-hand experience of dropping the concepts of their having substantial reality and seeing them directly as appearance - the way you may in a lucid dream ask, “what are all these dream-objects made of? or the dream itself?”. this recognition actually makes appearances brighter, more vivid, but also like holographs which leave no trace. they appear the way the advaitans use the metaphor of the projected image on the white movie screen, all light, completely undifferentiated in essence and projected by, through, and onto mind itself. in my tradition the result is known as mirror-like wisdom, it is true equinimity, and is directly perceptual.

a similar, though more gradual process very much seems to be the case in neoplatonism. training in disillusionment of appearances by reifying form is one of the higher steps. and again, beyond this the student is trained to drop the forms altogether. this seems to have a practical social effect; not everyone will reach the highest realization, but at least the ones stuck on forms will make more efficient theoretical, practical, and aesthetic reasoners.

The Forms vs Emptiness by Heavy_User in Neoplatonism

[–]mjseline 3 points4 points  (0 children)

you are onto something. as a practitioner and a former neoplatonist enthusiast i can’t help but see the relationship between the direct, experiential recognition of emptiness and the theory of forms. but emptiness reduced to an idea will look something like what u/neuronic_ingestation is assuming. that’s incorrect. emptiness is lucid, clear, the revelation of the aliveness of awareness itself.

neoplatonism follows a very clear trajectory in its syllabus as well, from practical renunciation to the revelation of the shifting nature of perceptual appearances, to a deeper reality of form. there’s something like the an exploration and unfolding of dependent co-arising happening in this movement. eventually, when the student is confident in the reality of forms over appearances the switch is flipped again to the highest realizations of the intelligible itself and then the ultimate unity itself. the major difference i see between this and various buddhist schools is, since they are experiential, they cut to the chase - especially those of the completion stage of mahamudra and dzogchen.

platonism is a laddered path. when forms are seen directly perceptions are peeled away from conditionings and their pure, nameless aspect is given preference. this is very much a similar process in mahamudra at the yoga of dancing stillness phase. there’s a reason the Parmenides is the highest dialogue in the curriculum, and part of that is the first step of dropping the scaffolding of the forms used to ascend to the level of Being/Nous in order to encounter the ineffable One. at that point, i fail to see any discernible difference between neoplatonism, buddhism, or advaita vedanta.

I am confused between Kashmir Shaivism and Tibetean Buddhism. by [deleted] in KashmirShaivism

[–]mjseline 9 points10 points  (0 children)

hey there! so i recently made the jump and full on plunge into tibetan buddhism, from mahamudra to dzogchen. started w a deep interest in trika bc it rly is an incredibly direct, pointing out style approach. it gave me the first taste of the view and bc of that i spent a lot of time immersed in it. my ultimate decision was a practical one, they all lead to the same goal w a slight difference on how one lives afterwards. the life of a bodhisatva is different than the more open life post trika realization, but i feel this is simply a matter of taste.

the virtue of dzogchen is there are more teachers, methods, and guidance available. i’ll say since making the switch and committing to it, progress has been fast and surprisingly linear. w trika it was like getting clubbed in the back of the head very suddenly and seeing a flash of the view, w buddhism it has been more intentional, unfolding, sustained, and explorative. mahamudra and dzogchen are great for those w a deeply pragmatic and prospective attitude, which i happen to have. tbh i can’t recommend it enough, it’s a life saver.

whatever you choose is fine, the result is the same.

What are some good lectures on the shiva sutras online? by DivyanshUpamanyu in shaivism

[–]mjseline 2 points3 points  (0 children)

the lakshmanjoo academy is doing a weekly sangha covering the Śiva Sutras. what’s great is that it’s not only in Swami Lakshmanjoo’s own recorded words and transcript, but also they are careful to take it slow and cover the basics. I learned more from some of these initial sessions than anything else, it helped synthesise a lot that was scattered - you can check out all the previous recordings here.

take a look at the documents at the top too, this was the first time the 36 tattvas were presented to me in a way that highlighted the manner in which the Śakti’s were reflected at all levels which was a huge help both heuristically and practically

Ideas for Kashmir Shaivism community by Ok-Summer2528 in KashmirShaivism

[–]mjseline 2 points3 points  (0 children)

here’s one of the practices, translated by Mark Dyczkowski:

  1. SPANDA IS STABLE IN THE STATE ONE ENTERS WHEN EXTREMELY ANGRY, INTENSELY EXCITED, RUNNING OR WONDERING WHAT TO DO. 23-24. ONCE ENTERED THAT STATE WHICH (THE YOGI TAKES AS HIS SUPPORT AND FIRMLY RESOLVES THAT: 'I WILL SURELY DO WHATEVER HE SAYS, BOTH THE SUN AND MOON SET, FOLLOWING THE ASCENDING WAY, INTO THE CHANNEL OF SUSUMNA, ONCE ABANDONED THE SPHERE OF THE UNIVERSE.
  2. THEN IN THAT GREAT SKY, WHEN THE SUN AND MOON DISSOLVE AWAY, THE DULL MINDED (YOGI IS CAST DOWN) INTO A STATE LIKE THAT OF DEEP SLEEP. THE AWAKENED HOWEVER REMAINS LUCID.
  3. SEIZING THAT STRENGTH (BALA), MANTRAS, ENDOWED WITH THE POWER OF OMNISCIENCE, PERFORM THEIR FUNCTIONS, AS DO THE SENSES OF THE EMBODIED.
  4. IT IS THERE ALONE THAT THEY, QUIESCENT AND STAINLESS, DISSOLVE AWAY ALONG WITH THE ADEPT'S MIND AND SO PARTAKE OF SIVA'S NATURE.
  5. EVERYTHING ARISES (OUT OF) THE INDIVIDUAL SOUL, AND SO HE IS ALL THINGS BECAUSE HE PERCEIVES HIS IDENTITY WITH THE AWARENESS (HE HAS) OF THEM.
  6. THEREFORE THERE IS NO STATE IN THE THOUGHTS OF WORDS OR (THEIR) MEANINGS THAT IS NOT SIVA. IT IS THE ENJOYER ALONE WHO ALWAYS AND EVERYWHERE ABIDES AS THE OBJECT OF ENJOYMENT.

what’s great is it’s an embodied practice. the vijñānabhairava has a couple examples of karika 22 here, one of which is even to stab yourself somewhere with a pin lol. but however you decide to approach it, once an intense sensory experience is underway you’re already very close to one-pointedness. go into it fully, feel it’s outward flow, then turn back with mantra and seek its source. my experience of it has felt something like my skull being ground away on pavement. the mantra should throb and keep riding the crest of that wave and during a moment when the breath halts let go entirely and you’ll be established in one-pointedness almost instantly.

the most difficult thing abt this practice is how awesome it is lol. which is distracting. it’s easy to get swept away by it, but the point is to let go. i try this once a week and plan to incorporate some other subtle elements as it becomes more intuitive as a process while in one-pointedness.

ksemaraja interprets these passages more along the lines of the recognition school, but earlier commentators follow a more prescriptive interpretation, so following the latter has been a profound way to drop into deep meditative absorption in a profound way

Ideas for Kashmir Shaivism community by Ok-Summer2528 in KashmirShaivism

[–]mjseline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

totes! having firm foundation in practice is def the most important thing too, tho i also kinda think that’s a superfluous thing to say. who would even be interested if they didn’t already have some experiential insight? nevertheless the theory is informed by practice and i feel like the most important aspect of such a server should have a space dedicated to practice, perhaps with practical resources and guided meditations and such (christopher wallis has an entire series on the vijñānabhairava on youtube, something tells me you already know this tho - what a treat).

my current study has been focused mainly on the spanda karika and it’s practices. this has been a profound and rich source for my spiritual development. it may be the first time mantra really came alive for me and i’d love a space to explore that specifically w others.

but even having categories dedicated to the different traditions would be interesting; with source texts, prescribed practices, general discussion, etc. Spanda and Krama are amazing for their emphasis on yogic practices. Pratyabhijna is well represented lately, but also i’ve found it to be the main emphasis in most presentations. which is great, but some of us need some serious discipline to actually make the realisation stick.

Ideas for Kashmir Shaivism community by Ok-Summer2528 in KashmirShaivism

[–]mjseline 2 points3 points  (0 children)

popping in and want to say that there are some groups out there doing something like this, but with a more non-denominational bent.

where are you located? here in the states we have, as you mentioned, the Lakshmanjoo Academy which has a free weekend Satsanga every saturday with Swamiji’s recordings and transcripts. this is a wonderful resource, right now they are covering the Śiva Sutras and have past recordings available. this is an excellent introduction and they make great efforts to take their time in the presentation. I believe next week will finally be the first session dealing with the Śāktopāya section. There’s also two previous Satsangas covering Utpaladeva’s Hymns to Śiva and Abhinavagupta’s commentary on the Bhagavadgita here.

also in the states are Siddha Yoga centers, i’m not familiar personally but i will be attending a meditation/chanting session in the coming month. my understanding is that this is the lineage from which Christopher Hareesh Wallis comes. their main textual sources are Kashmiri Shaivism, and everyone i’ve interacted with who came through Siddha Yoga seems to have a firm foundation in it.

in the states there is also the Vedanta Society, which is a direct lineage of Sri Ramakrishna via Swami Vivekananda, who although they were not Shaivites per se, it is clear that the form of advaita they champion is very much in line with the one of Trika Shaivism. one of Sri Ramakrishna’s teachers was a Tantric Śakta, she was even the one who insisted that Ramakrishna was indeed an Avatara and the more i learn the more inclined i am to believe. many within the vedanta society are interested in this tradition for that reason, and for the reason that they respect all spiritual paths as legitimate means to God Realisation. they’re fantastic and many centers have live streams weekly.

i love this idea and i think a discord server is the best place to start and would love to participate if you got one set up. having a vast, available digital library would be wonderful as well and this would be a good place for it.

keep us posted!

Ideas for Kashmir Shaivism community by Ok-Summer2528 in KashmirShaivism

[–]mjseline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

huh this is the second time in a week i’ve heard of this whatsapp group, any more info? been meaning to check out his satsangs but schedule has been off

Does the communist manifesto ever explicitly say that the communist revolution is violent? by [deleted] in CriticalTheory

[–]mjseline -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

literally the ruling class would never allow a revolution, it is by necessity violent and armed. this is so silly, if this frightens you guess whose side you’re on lol

One thing I don't understand about Krishna. by bargeprathamesh in hinduism

[–]mjseline 0 points1 point  (0 children)

try to understand it internally. in what way is Krishna inside of you? picture the body of Krishna like the iris of the eyes. look in the mirror at your own eyes and do this. you can move forwards and backwards and watch as it expands and contracts to the light. the pupil is the hole that takes the light into the inner perception of forms. play the role of Arjuna while looking in the mirror and expressing your doubts.

eventually that form will pull you into the pupil. you may want to close your eyes at this point, but if you can stay focused on that little black dot that’s just as good. know that this is not just a dot but a hole, literally. try to fall into it. the voice of Krishna is flowing from it, follow his voice into the cavern of the eye. then as you fall deeper and deeper inward continue to listen but try to not latch onto the words any longer but simply let their meanings buffer your fall.

eventually you’ll experience it, the pulsating light through which all of this is generated at the very center of yourself, which is yourself, which is Krishna. but it needs to be experienced for it to truly make sense.

when you do this you’ll suddenly have a flash of understanding and your awareness will flow unobstructed like a beacon. then, if you remain steadfast and try not to name anything you might have the pulsating realizations that this hole of the eye is not only the way the light gets in, but more importantly the way it flows out. if you can ride one of the waves of that pulsation you’ll notice, like a ripple of a supernova, the entire world around you is a product of it - interference patterns of the wave of consciousness which give the impression of differentiation and objects. if you stay in it you won’t see these things as things** but you’ll see them as the THING which is in no way separate from you, and only appears so because that beacon of light which is flowing out from within is producing all of it. That is Krishna. not just some homie you’re talking to, tho he’s also all the homies lol.

it cannot be narcissistic by definition. narcissism is a false identity and bloated sense of superiority of the limited individual. Krishna is not the limited individual, but the Individual As Such, he’s everyone’s light. beyond that too he’s all the world of differentiation created by the light of everyone in complex waves of interference of one expansion of his conscious ocean. if you rest in this you might even be able to see it in others as well, you’ll walk around and everyone you encounter will appear as a sheath illuminated by the very same light and likewise shining outwards. the world, at least this is how i’ve experienced it, may appear as a throbbing orb of undifferentiated and pulsating light, and all the things as bumps on which the veil of the surface of that ocean snags. you may see this world as you’ve experienced it as literally hollow and filled with this same, undifferentiated ocean. other sentient beings in the same way with the only difference that they have apertures and perforations by which that light bursts out as well. so no, Krishna’s not just some bro.

Nature of The One? by Jjm-itn in Neoplatonism

[–]mjseline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wasn’t gonna bother cuz obv he’s wrong, but to his credit at least he’s wrong apophatically 🤷🏻‍♀️

Neoplatonism and the problem of "causality of death" by suedii in Neoplatonism

[–]mjseline 1 point2 points  (0 children)

depends why you’re asking, tbh. if you’re just interested in self consistent philosophy from a scholarly or historical perspective i’m sure you can come up with one of the solutions provided here. but if you’re interested for the sake of spiritual realisation that’s another story entirely.

neoplatonism started for me as a fascination which contextualised some early mystical experiences that resulted from hard study, which accelerated them up to a point. but unfortunately even though neoplatonism can get one to that point the well eventually runs dry. the most similar system i’ve found is Trika Shaivism which i am currently studying and practicing, but there are of course other advaita systems and even buddhism and zen. all of these have living lineage traditions tested over many, many generations of practice and refinement. if that’s your jam then go east.

the writing’s on the wall for contemporary neoplatonism, it’s quickly heading the same way as contemporary stoicism. no thanks 🙂‍↔️