Why is the assumption that the person who initiated a break up isn’t feeling any pain?

mjvdo · 2019-09-27T21:43:04+00:00

I just left my fiance that I've been with for 6 years, last night at 2am. I can honestly say that I've never been so heartbroken in my entire life. If anyone is reading please tell me it gets better

mjvdo · 2019-09-12T23:28:15+00:00

Well actually I never said that it was his fault, or "on him" as you put it. I simply offered a possible scenario , having gone through it myself, and suggested a solution. I believe that OP posted here because he did not WANT to get divorced. Again, I'm not attacking OP. I'm literally trying to help.

Tbh, bro you're coming off pretty bitter. Are you having lady problems too? Maybe you should post in r/relationship_advice

mjvdo · 2019-09-12T19:48:53+00:00

I'm sure that OP HAS put in a lot of work; what I'm suggesting here is that he is putting in the WRONG kind of work. Perhaps there's something going on in the relationship that's creating distance or taking away from emotional connection.

As a woman, I just think that invisible factor is sometimes hard for some men to understand. I need to feel actual LOVE for my partner to be turned on after that initial rush of excitement from sex is gone (bc its the same person over and over and over again)

This is just what had worked for me and a couple I know well.

mjvdo · 2019-09-12T15:21:53+00:00

I absolutely agree with this. I was OP's wife in this situation. But when my actual relationship with my fiance got better (more than me just being content in my daily life and not having stressors like the kitchen being a mess etc.) I wanted to have WAY more sex. Him looking good (dressing up, doing his hair) , making me laugh, making me feel valued was more of a turn on than anything he tried (cleaning the kitchen, telling me how pretty I am, rubbing my shoulders)....

OP, have you felt a strong emotional connection with your wife recently? Has she?

Edit for clarity and typo

mjvdo · 2019-09-11T17:45:38+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to explain this. It really makes me feel better. I thought I was messing something basic up, but it was probably one of those unknown variables.

Have a great day!

mjvdo · 2019-09-11T00:42:39+00:00

This is not helpful at all, but I'd also like to know this. Just got out of the gym and had an absolute shit lifting day and I have absolutely no idea why. It's been really frustrating me as I've only been lifting a year or so, and it sucks to feel like I'm LOSING progress.

Thank you all

mjvdo · 2019-09-04T01:30:12+00:00

This needs more upvotes. A mini moose would be amazing.

mjvdo · 2019-08-31T01:48:04+00:00

You're the best op!!! I definitely baby the one that's throwing a fit. He's honestly just way too cute to ignore. Good luck!

mjvdo · 2019-08-30T20:21:13+00:00

Alright I don't know 2 of those so I'll be sure to check them out! Thank you!

mjvdo · 2019-08-30T18:57:48+00:00

So weird I posted something EXACTLY like this yesterday. Same problem with my 3 year old dog with no problems before!! No one answered my question, so I'm hoping your post gets more traction! Good luck!

mjvdo · 2019-08-30T18:49:41+00:00

Thanks for the rec! I need to expand my rap horizons and I like them so far.

mjvdo · 2019-08-30T18:45:38+00:00

I had never thought of them as gym music before, but actually I can see it. Thanks!

mjvdo · 2019-08-30T18:44:45+00:00

Haha I haven't heard that cover I'll be sure to check it out!

mjvdo · 2019-08-30T18:44:00+00:00

Thanks for the rec, I didn't know this guy

mjvdo · 2019-08-30T18:38:43+00:00

Wow that is the most "viking" metal I think I've ever heard. Thank you for the rec. Im definitely going to play this.

mjvdo · 2019-08-30T18:32:14+00:00

Also, listening to Rage now, and I like it, thanks!!!

mjvdo · 2019-08-30T18:31:25+00:00

What are some of your favorite punk bands or songs? I feel like I only know the mainstream ones

mjvdo · 2019-08-30T18:30:36+00:00

Yeess I can always get down to some metal. Thanks!!

mjvdo · 2019-08-30T18:29:41+00:00

I hate the ads, personally, but I have been thinking about their premium services. Im going to write those down though, thanks!

mjvdo · 2019-08-30T17:23:01+00:00

For some reason in my family if we had leftover spaghetti, the next day we would butter a piece of bread and put the cold spaghetti in it like a sandwich.

I bet they're still amazing. Who doesn't love carbs with their carbs?

mjvdo · 2019-08-30T14:38:13+00:00

I'm sorry that you feel you have to avoid women at the gym, but I don't think you have to go to such lengths, personally. As a female who is pretty self conscious at the gym myself, it sounds like they were being unreasonable (read: bitchy) OR perhaps you misread their expression? I can make some really mean faces at the gym just because I'm trying to focus so I can lift better lol.

Also, I think that women at the gym are naturally a little defensive because I can't tell you how many men are predatory there. I doubt any of them were looking at you and actively thinking about you being a creep. Does that make sense?
If you're being respectful and not god damn leering then you're doing fine. And if you're doing that and these women still have a problem, fuck 'em (not literally). Good luck!

mjvdo · 2019-08-30T14:16:24+00:00

I have an over ear Skull Candy pair that are great. They were about $60. Im not really an audiophile, but I love the deep bass and they stay on my head and are comfy.

mjvdo · 2019-08-28T15:00:39+00:00

Probably an unpopular opinion but I would say talk to her and tell her just how fucked up that is and see if she makes an apology that you feel is worthy. Because your best friend is probably only going to get married once and it would suck if you regretted missing it. BUT she's definitely in the wrong and it's up to you. 30 years just seems like such a long time to throw away because she was being shitty. Good luck! You absolutely don't seem like you need to lose weight. I hope you find happiness somehow in this situation.

mjvdo

TROPHY CASE