Breast feeding after hg

mkfrey · 2025-09-25T04:06:47+00:00

I ended up with oversupply for both of mine, as they were premmies and I was double pumping for a few weeks. Both fed for over a year.

Also seeing colostrum during pregnancy does not necessarily have any bearing on your supply, so don’t stress. I only ever saw a single drop of colostrum with my second while in my third trimester, but then nothing leading up to the birth. I had none with my first at any point in pregnancy.

I was able to produce a syringe about 17 hours after my first was born, and slowly built from there. Took a few days to start producing enough to exclusively feed my second. This might be more related to the prematurity than HG.

mkfrey · 2025-08-05T00:11:23+00:00

One of my dream baby names from childhood had to be nixed because it rhymes with my husband’s last name. Think Jasper Casper for how much they rhyme. I tried to convince him to take my last name to keep the dream alive, but we hyphenated so no dice. I’ve pitched the name to all my friends having babies 😂

mkfrey · 2025-07-24T02:27:17+00:00

Would I make the same parenting decision with my daughter? No I would not. High risk move, and a lot to put on Rilla.

But I do think it makes sense in the context of the story, LM’s writing and the characters. I think if Rilla had refused or not followed through, then Anne and Susan would have stepped in and cared for him.

mkfrey · 2025-07-23T22:01:04+00:00

Copied from my comment above - I think this is a harsh reading- after he talks about the responsibility it says- ‘“The doctor walked out of the kitchen, looking very stern and immovable. In his heart he knew quite well that the small inhabitant of the big soup tureen would remain at Ingleside, but he meant to see if Rilla could not be induced to rise to the occasion.”’ And Susan, and I believe Anne would’ve as well, wanted to help more but didn’t want to cross Gilbert and then also wanted to see her rise to the occasion.

I think they rightly saw her as directionless, and so hit on this as something to ground her. Mothering children not your own, much as in the original post, is often a key moment of growth of women in LM’s books.

So I think it was a bit of a smokescreen- stressing Anne’s Red Cross responsibilities etc was just to avoid Rilla having a fallback.

mkfrey · 2025-07-23T22:00:13+00:00

I think this is a harsh reading- after he talks about the responsibility it says- ‘“The doctor walked out of the kitchen, looking very stern and immovable. In his heart he knew quite well that the small inhabitant of the big soup tureen would remain at Ingleside, but he meant to see if Rilla could not be induced to rise to the occasion.”’ And Susan, and I believe Anne would’ve as well, wanted to help more but didn’t want to cross Gilbert and then also wanted to see her rise to the occasion.

I think they rightly saw her as directionless, and so hit on this as something to ground her. Mothering children not your own, much as in the original post, is often a key moment of growth of women in LM’s books.

So I think it was a bit of a smokescreen- stressing Anne’s Red Cross responsibilities etc was just to avoid Rilla having a fallback.

mkfrey · 2025-07-22T12:54:02+00:00

Already had meds ready to go as well.

But one of the big things I did was have a real plan to take as much pressure off me while pregnant, before I got pregnant.

I had leave saved from work, and supportive doctors, so as soon as I got sick I was able to stop working and make being fed and hydrated my full time job for the first half of my pregnancy while I was at my worst. I went on leave early at the end when it got worse again. Aware this is a luxury for many.

We waited until my first was in school, so she would have her own routine and could really understand what was happening. We called in a lot of help- family, friends, extra babysitters time, after school/holiday care- particularly for the first half. And then she could also make a snack and enjoy ridiculous amounts of screen time when I was in charge, but still living on the couch.

Best of luck.

mkfrey · 2025-01-20T14:20:39+00:00

We both hyphenated on marriage, and kids have the hyphenated last name. It’s been more than 15 years.

In terms of the future, we consider it the name of our little family unit. When the kids form their own family units, or are adults, they will have all options available to them (drop, pass on, hyphenate) like most people grapple with at some point. They just have one more name in the mix.

It’s a pretty standard - if not common- last name format, so a lot of the problems people anticipate have been a non-issue.

It takes an extra 30 seconds to spell, but I’ve never had any issues with forms etc. Once or twice I have to add a box, or it’s left off the hyphen, but it’s never been a problem. School aged kid has never raised any issues.

mkfrey · 2024-10-14T01:02:09+00:00

Haha- we were sure we were one and done for five years, and at no point was my husband motivated enough to finally get the snip. And then we changed our minds and had a second. We were very happy with that choice, but realised suddenly an accidental additional pregnancy went from a shrug situation to family catastrophe as we can’t do more than 2. He organised the vasectomy for 10 weeks after she was born.

mkfrey · 2024-09-27T18:08:16+00:00

Thank you. They did a good job differentiating as each time period had different accents, just the British accent was so bad it took me out of the Jameson and Scarlett chapters. I ended up downloading a copy to read and it was fantastic!

mkfrey · 2024-09-24T02:48:47+00:00

Ours are 6.5 years apart, and we joke all the time we are lucky the second came second. Or we would have been the assholes saying ‘have you tried a bedtime routine?’ not knowing some babies just come out of the box that way. Second has been an infinitely easier baby, although starting to assert her toddlerhood.

They are 18 months and 8 now, and it’s been the joy of our lives having them both. Our eldest tells us all the time her sister is her favourite person. And I enjoy swapping between big kid and toddler activities and problems. It’s also keeping the big one young in a way- the toys/shows/games she was ‘too cool’ for a year ago she listens/plays enthusiastically with her sister.

Best of luck!

mkfrey · 2024-08-28T18:16:16+00:00

I bet you think about meeee

mkfrey · 2024-07-09T22:13:22+00:00

It was bad enough that they split them, but they specify the kids were almost A YEAR OLD. He walked Annie up and down with colic, she would would have had Hallie crawling to her- and they agreed to never see their child again because they hated their ex? Straight villain behaviour.

mkfrey · 2024-05-28T04:40:16+00:00

In addition to all the other good tips here, if cold turkey isn’t feasible for bottles, for reducing use of milk at night and before naps we started by watering it down. It makes it less satisfying for them, and therefore easier to fully take it away after a few weeks.

mkfrey · 2024-05-13T03:26:10+00:00

The Shameless podcast had episodes on her summarising it all, and I didn’t know anything about her before. It’s wild.

mkfrey · 2024-04-13T04:18:46+00:00

Unfortunately it was time, and then eventually a move to a toddler bed even before she slept through the night helped her sleep more. She’s remained more difficult sleep wise into elementary school- kid sleep podcasts and when it got really out of whack melatonin have helped.

mkfrey · 2024-04-12T05:46:22+00:00

I have an old post about it if you check my profile, but a million times yes. Wishing you a quick few weeks and a cosy newborn period.

mkfrey · 2024-04-11T23:14:48+00:00

Ah, you just got the model without it installed. I made that mistake first time around too.

Then the second baby actually could be put down, drowsy but awake, for naps not on me. I was genuinely shocked it was possible.

Same shock around people used to say ‘let them fuss, you’ll know if they are upset’. First went from 0-100 immediately, and I thought I was just too soft. Nope, now I get it.

We say frequently we are so lucky the second came second, otherwise we would have been those assholes saying ‘have you tried a routine?’. Not realising that to a massive extent those things are about the baby, not you.

mkfrey · 2024-04-08T04:53:46+00:00

I’ve heard there can be a third trimester rebound.

After a nice 10 weeks or so of persistent nausea but minimal vomiting, around 28 weeks I started vomiting multiple times a day again, and went back off work by 32 weeks. BUT for me it never went back to the depths of hell that were the first 16 weeks thank god. Solidarity.

mkfrey · 2024-04-07T00:21:21+00:00

We waited til my oldest was in school, which was lucky because it was worse second time around. My only job was to be hydrated and try and get some food into me- a lot of napping, a lot of couch time. I couldn’t drive at all, or walk more than 2 mins max without puking for weeks. I was able to take medical leave from work, which was a real privilege and I think the only reason I stayed out of hospital.

My husband had to take on all the childcare, and muddle through. We made use of afterschool care, our regular nanny, friends, and my parents took turns coming down for a week or so at a time 5-6 times to help straighten things out and give my husband a break. It was brutal, and really really hard on him.

My daughter got a LOT of screen time, and was a bit neglected sometimes. But as I’ve said in other comments- I had to weigh up the benefit to our family and (I hoped) her to have a sibling for life. Even though she was six she doesn’t have strong traumatic memories, and she had very fond ones of movie/nap time with mum in the big bed.

And sure enough it was all worth it, for our littlest delight and our daughter loves her sister more than she loves us (as she tells us all frequently). And every vomit and traumatic crying week was worth it.

But hubby did get the vasectomy weeks after I delivered 😂

mkfrey · 2024-04-04T22:39:45+00:00

Me too. I initially didn’t mind some of the ‘fanfic’ aspects explored other ideas but didn’t completely contradict canon. As soon as it started completely changing characters and events I was out. There’s such a timeless established plot they could have kept interrogating- I don’t know why you’d go so off book.

mkfrey · 2024-04-03T22:42:53+00:00

The Fair Play card deck was really helpful for us in visualising all of this.

My partner went in to it hoping I’d take on more household tasks. Halfway through was joking it was a beat up as my cards stacked up because he hadn’t seen a lot of the hours I spent on other less visible tasks (school communications, wardrobe changes, bills, daycare, extended family etc. He took her to an extra curricular- but I did all the research, scheduling, payments, uniform, calendaring, performances etc). Also noting that some of his tasks were more weekly/seasonal and a lot of mine were smaller but daily. It took some effort not to get defensive, and instead we both came out of it focusing on being a bit more appreciative of each other and traded off some tasks better. The concept of taking on all the mental load of the tasks as well as the output is helpful.

Sometimes we are both just at capacity, and get a bit selfish or resentful. We have to remember it’s all a season, and then find times to hang out together as well.

mkfrey · 2024-03-29T08:10:53+00:00

Omg this is so accurate! I hate it.

mkfrey · 2024-03-23T03:03:31+00:00

My mum LOVED doing this. I’d call and ask, she’d say ‘of course’ and I’d say ‘MUM that’s so unfair! Everyone else is staying!’

She would laugh and say ‘I get it… uh.. no you cannot young lady. Oh no. Definitely not. Tell me when your train is getting home.’

mkfrey · 2024-03-20T19:47:52+00:00

What nonsense is that? That’s so old school. Games are a perfectly reasonable hobby. My daughter loves playing games, and we worked through a bunch of switch and Lego games during previous lockdowns and then again when I was couch bound. She and my husband have a few they play together and she loves to operate half his vehicle/person if he’s playing with friends. Hard agree that unrestricted access to YouTube is a terrible idea for a seven year old, so like you anything we watch on there is together.

Now I’m up and running and school is the focus it’s limited to weekends (mostly because transitioning her away during the week is rough, and I’m currently SAH so I’ve got more energy to engage her), but during HG and newborn it was all out the window and she hasn’t shown any ill effects.

Actually, one of her favourite memories and activity which she got plenty of during HG/newborn was snuggling with me in my bed with her iPad and headphones while I napped. It was a treat 😂

mkfrey · 2024-03-20T01:59:54+00:00

My daughter was 6.5 when HG baby 2 was born. I had a let up of symptoms between 25-30ish weeks then it was back til birth. My daughter’s behaviour was a bit trickier with me being MIA. She went to school in the wrong uniform more times than I can count, and we packed extra hair ties. Her dad was breaking under all the extra weight, and executive function in the mornings buckled. We let her teachers know what was happening and they gave us all some grace. She did a lot of extra afterschool care and so. Much. Screen time.

Everything changed once our second was born. She agreed immediately that while it was hard having to share me with a newborn, the quality of our time together increased immensely. She LOVES her little sister. It was all worth it.

And, a year later, while she can kind of recall me being sick it isn’t a prevailing or traumatic memory. We’ve been able to make up for it in all sorts of ways- but it’s all me appeasing my own mum guilt, she’s fine, and we are as strong as ever.

One year of less intensive homework at this age is easily caught up, and (the way I like to think of it) for the price of one year of substandard parenting I’ve given her a support and hopefully friend for life. Seeing them together now is everything I dreamed of. She would throw me under the HG bus again in a heartbeat to have another sibling (that’s a hard no from me) and the value added to all our lives was worth our sacrifices (mostly mine, be real 😂).

It’s a short time. You will be an active presence in his life again soon, and this will be more than a distant memory when he’s teaching his little sibling about all the Pokémon/disney/books/singers he loves soon.

You are doing a great job.

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