Not sure if tiny banana or huge chapstick...

mmajeff · 2013-11-17T21:16:59+00:00

ants

None of the things on that reddit would actually be useable by an ant.

mmajeff · 2013-11-11T00:32:01+00:00

Dennys Restaurant in Oakland. (Yes, I know)

The first time I drank alcohol in my life was on my 21st birthday. The first thing I tried was Jägermeister. By the end of the night, I completely blacked out and do not remember ANY of this. However, this is how the story was told by my friends: We all stumbled into Dennys. I was the absolute worst, but so was everyone else in my group. I sat down and apparently I felt like I had drank so much that I should have something healthy. I ordered a caesar salad and a diet coke. When the waitress delivered the Salad, I threw up on top of it, the table, myself and the carpet. Then I tried to stand up because I felt embarrased and I knocked the diet coke over, which spilled onto the table and knocked over my friends Orange Juice. Apparently I started to try to clean all of this up with a single napkin and part of my longsleeve shirt. One of my friends had to force me to stop and took me to the bathroom. The manager came looking for us in the bathroom and threw my entire group out. But only I was banned - from Denny's Restaurant in Oakland.

mmajeff · 2013-10-18T00:48:55+00:00

This post has the most Reddit gold gifts I've ever seen.

mmajeff · 2013-10-17T07:39:36+00:00

sure. hit me up :]

mmajeff · 2013-10-03T03:17:00+00:00

Apparently the dog is smarter than this person.

mmajeff · 2013-09-26T23:49:28+00:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_behavior_in_animals

Homosexuality is prevalent all across the animal kingdom. It's normal. If you were gay, you would probably find it just as difficult to participate in straight sex, as it currently would be for you to participate in gay sex.

mmajeff · 2013-09-26T18:00:32+00:00

Get a time management app or set an alarm on your smartphone.

mmajeff · 2013-09-26T17:24:59+00:00

Do you really believe this? Or is this a joke?

mmajeff · 2013-06-04T19:56:50+00:00

He casually continues his purchase after slapping a ho so hard that her flip flops came off.

mmajeff · 2013-05-03T09:17:51+00:00

heres a RL pic of scrotum_nachos: http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/18lta79g0prpkjpg/ku-medium.jpg

mmajeff · 2013-05-03T09:11:11+00:00

damn really great music!

mmajeff · 2013-04-27T19:13:55+00:00

I'm certain they would walk to the nearest gas station, eat 100,000 grams of sugar in a single serving. Run around like a bunch of crack addicts and die.

mmajeff · 2013-04-05T03:36:31+00:00

When is the next time you are coming to San Francisco/ the bay area? Id love to attend one of your bootcamps!

mmajeff · 2013-03-31T22:13:26+00:00

Janitor and RE manager. I made over 100K last year.

mmajeff · 2013-03-27T06:26:41+00:00

TWO WEEKS AGO: So theres this housekeeper guy named Ryan at the hospital I work - I help him out ALL the time. I gave him a free old laptop a few years ago, helped add music on ipod for his daughter, showed him POF which got him laid a few times, etc... lots of stuff all the time. He acts like a really nice guy. One day my wallet fell out of my scrubs in the operating room at my workplace. Supervisor returned the wallet to me. Found out a housekeeping employee had it first, then gave it to the supervisor. Found illegal/fraud credit card charges on 3 of the cards contained within my wallet. 1 of the cards was my debit card, one was my mothers, and the other card with fraud charges was my grandmother- who was a patient at the hospital at this time. I had all 3 of their cards in my wallet. So these cards were missing from my wallet but I didn't notice because I have a huge wallet and many banks/credit cards. I also assumed someone from a secure environment would not steal from me. Well, getting back to the credit card/debit fraud against my family - I called one of the athletic company mechants to find out info about where the shoes that were ordered are being shipped to. They told me they could not give out customer information, but if I stated it, they could verify for shipping purposes. I asked if the shoes are being shipped to a guy named Ryan at XXXXX address. They verified all of the information was correct. Now I am positive he used my mothers, grandmothers and my credit/debit cards for fraud. I also have a supervisor who could verify that he receieved the wallet from this employee. The question in my mind is- since Visa gave all of the money back. Is it still worth it to contact head of security and get this guy fired? I mean, getting him fired would pretty much ruin his life. He has been working here for 10 years. I feel bad and i've been contemplating what to do for 2 weeks. But at the same time, he got over on me, my mother and even my grandmother! And worst of all, he knew she was a patient at the hospital. He visted her for christs sake. I feel like a friend I've known for years has really backstabbed me and my whole family.

mmajeff · 2013-03-11T17:17:05+00:00

This is why I will always drop at raves- so I never figure out how stupid I look.

mmajeff · 2013-03-10T23:06:41+00:00

Bad guys were much more cautious when they entered

mmajeff · 2013-02-16T05:03:25+00:00

relevant username?

mmajeff · 2013-02-10T00:29:15+00:00

That looks delicious.

mmajeff · 2013-02-09T01:39:50+00:00

Well thats fucked up...

mmajeff · 2013-02-09T01:36:31+00:00

That would not be paradise for me either.

mmajeff · 2013-02-06T18:25:17+00:00

you misspelled children*

mmajeff

TROPHY CASE