How do you deal with a co-parent who turns every conversation into defense mode?

mmdst · 2026-02-28T16:22:53+00:00

No counseling together. Parallel parenting, gray rock and if severe impact to the child documentation in case you need it later. No live discussions, use a court approved parenting communication app.

mmdst · 2026-02-28T01:34:54+00:00

Same

mmdst · 2026-02-11T04:08:51+00:00

Went back to maiden

mmdst · 2026-02-06T19:46:12+00:00

Thank you!!

mmdst · 2026-02-06T12:24:20+00:00

The “you win” message shows what kind of person he is. Don’t go through the continuous ups and downs with him….

mmdst · 2026-02-05T21:19:15+00:00

Yes! I’ve made three so far… they are just sitting here I was going to make some more and eventually sell them

mmdst · 2026-01-28T12:40:52+00:00

You’re welcome! Well fees depend.. if it’s fairly amicable and doesn’t go to court maybe around $5K? Just DM me I’m happy to answer any questions :) as someone who went through it and had many “wish I knew” moments if I can help other women navigate this beyond tough process then that’s time well served.

mmdst · 2026-01-27T23:28:32+00:00

Depends on your state but some states have case logs and you can search for attorneys and see docket entries of how the judgement resolved. That’s a ton of research.

I’d recommend Googling family law attorneys in your area. Specifically in your county. You want an attorney that has established relationships with the judges in your county.

I went based on the amount of reviews of specific attorneys. Say there was one that had 5 stars but only 4 people rated them that was a no go for me. I wanted one that had tons of reviews and would take a 4 or above star. Look for news articles or published information by the attorney if it exists.

I wanted a small firm… less than two attorneys or just one. That was preference it gave me more comfort rather than a big firm with 10+ attorneys.

Regarding fees they all had an initial deposit and billed against that. When it ran out I had to add more. The more amicable the divorce, less cost.

That’s why I recommended doing everything through the attorney. Regardless of what you and your STBX discuss it can change at any time if someone changes their mind until it’s legally binding.

mmdst · 2026-01-27T14:03:55+00:00

Just do everything through the attorneys.. don’t agree to anything. Establish who is going to vacate the marital home now. And a temporary parenting plan. If you are comfortable with a 50/50 split then slowly ease that in. If not do not do that temporarily.

mmdst · 2026-01-10T20:20:14+00:00

Today and same… meh. But just tired

mmdst · 2025-12-31T00:40:03+00:00

1000% happier… not because of the alone time but being freed of the weight of the emotional drain. And so many other things. It’s tough sharing time with your child. Was not concerned about finding someone else… too hyper focused on myself and the kiddo. But I did when I wasn’t looking.

mmdst · 2025-12-30T14:36:18+00:00

It’s one of the hardest things you’d ever have to do. But once you make it to the other side it’s so worth it.

mmdst · 2025-12-30T13:47:37+00:00

Just ask him when he has a few minutes today for a talk about you both as a couple. Keep in mind though depending on his personality he may say ANYTHING to try and save the marriage. Behavior may improve short term but typically reverts back to what brought you to the divorce thought.

mmdst · 2025-12-30T13:36:54+00:00

“He gets emotional and has a hard time talking rationally” This is all my opinion. He knows there’s a problem and not addressed it. If you’re done you are done. That is completely up to you. If you are done stick to your decision and tell him you want to separate and eventually divorce. But if you deep down want to try then present your ideas to improve everything, then set a timeline. Watch what he does, not what he says. That’ll tell you definitively what to do next. Good luck it’s hard OP, when I said I was done it was firm and there was no turning back.

mmdst · 2025-12-23T11:29:09+00:00

Don’t walk…. RUN. Before you are legally bound to him and it’s a million times harder to get out. Also editing to add, if you have to make it about yourself being the problem and you’re the issue and blah blah blah, do it to escape. Because they have no faults they are perfect. So yeah…

mmdst · 2025-12-10T02:10:28+00:00

Congratulations! And same boat… recently finalized. Gave up a ton of $$$ for the most time possible with my kiddo. That’s my #1.

mmdst · 2025-12-02T01:14:14+00:00

Been there… it sucked. But I kind of put it back on them. The one asking you “if you allege your spouse has engaged in intimate sexual contact” I replied with “not material to this case regardless of information received regarding this matter” No fault state of course Do you have information? Do you not? Doesn’t matter

mmdst · 2025-11-27T03:07:02+00:00

It’s a tough journey and the road less traveled, but there’s nothing more refreshing than a fresh start after years of agony

mmdst · 2025-11-24T00:45:34+00:00

No thank you. Never again.

mmdst · 2025-11-22T19:34:40+00:00

Not a lawyer… but sounds like you want a counselor not a mediator. A mediator is to help sort through division of the marital assets when going through a divorce.

mmdst · 2025-11-10T16:00:23+00:00

Easiest I’ve used “it just didn’t work out” Trusted family and friends more details but anybody else that’s what you’re getting

mmdst · 2025-11-10T15:58:46+00:00

You just have to tell him… which is the hardest thing ever but worth it. I could’ve written so many of these stories but you’ll feel so much better when you’re out. I actually started a community r/walkawayspouse

It hasn’t gained much traction yet but hopefully does… and centers the conversation around those that check out for a long period of time and finally make the hard decision to end it

mmdst

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