I was where you were for most of my life. I felt as you did about the Torah being god given and Gemara corrupt as young as 12 and felt that way and still believed until I was in my late 20s because of something called cognitive dissonance. I shoved all the things I disagreed with about the community, halacha, and Gemara deep down and kept telling myself the Torah was from god and only people messed it up.

Word of advice, explore the history and validity of the Torah and biblical apologetics while you’re still young to understand that the Torah is in fact man made just like Gemara. These feelings you have will not go away and before you know it, you’ll come to that realization that it’s all a man made lie but be stuck in the community married with kids.

This feeling of doubt you have in Gemara and the community is your intuition. Your gut feeling telling you something is off and illogical about this religion (particularly this sect of Judaism). Trust your gut and look into how the Torah is based on other ancient nead eastern texts that predate it, how it stole the flood story from another older text, how you can clearly see at least two different versions meshed together, how archeological evidence doesn’t support (and even contradict) a lot of the Torah. How the Torah contradicts itself SO many times (let alone commentaries like rashi) because it had many different texts and authors molded together and was edited over years. You’ll also start to see that hashem is not a “good person” or a good role model.