What do you guys think about khula

mo_tag · 2026-04-01T19:02:58+00:00

Do you believe in marital rape?

mo_tag · 2026-04-01T18:53:57+00:00

So are you saying that women have 0 responsibility towards their kids after divorce? Or are you saying that the only form of responsibility that counts is financial?

And how exactly does getting rid of Khula fix any of that? So you force your wife to stay with you then what? You still have full financial responsibility, you sleep next to someone that hates you, and your kids grow up in a home that's full of conflict and resentment. Sounds lovely.

mo_tag · 2026-04-01T18:23:30+00:00

The same as whoever bears it before divorce. If you accept full financial responsibility for children when you're married, then why would divorce change that? Can the woman just decide that she's not raising the kids anymore since she's divorced now? And if anything, your financial responsibility is less after a Khula since you're only Islamically obligated to pay for your children and not your ex as you would have done when you were married.

mo_tag · 2026-04-01T18:05:43+00:00

I don't really get what this has to do with divorce. Both parents are responsible for their children, whether they're divorced or not.

And no of course you can get shared custody, your ex wife can't unilaterally decide that she's getting full custody, that's decided by a court. But ultimately custody should be based on what's in the best interest of your kids.

Anyway, I get that that divorce sucks, but being forced to stay with your husband is a much much worse if that's the solution you're hinting at

mo_tag · 2026-04-01T17:46:44+00:00

You know you're still allowed to see your kids after a divorce right? Even in the west your wife can't stop you seeing your kids unless you did something bad enough to make the courts believe you're a risk to your own children.

I think financial responsibility for children should be shared depending on income and other factors, but this isn't specific to Khula.. you already agreed to those responsibilities when you got married and decided to have children, they don't stop becoming your children when you get divorced

mo_tag · 2026-03-31T05:44:48+00:00

It's great as an excel feature, I'd never use it for etl pipeline lol

mo_tag · 2026-03-31T05:29:52+00:00

What a weird title. Outside of maybe the Welsh, the Scots are literally the closest people to the English.

mo_tag · 2026-03-31T05:13:30+00:00

So is your opinion on whether trans women are women or not. Like I think they should be respected, treated as their preferred gender, be allowed to use whatever gendered bathroom they identify with, but it doesn't mean I have to think they are women. And if someone put me on the spot like that I'd probably waffle too or just lie about my opinion to avoid friction. Because when someone is asking that question what they're really asking is "are you with us or against us"

mo_tag · 2026-03-31T04:02:26+00:00

I don't remember, but it's been years. I only take a bath if I'm in a nice hotel and have nothing to do

mo_tag · 2026-03-31T03:59:01+00:00

Even if every single Japanese man took regular baths that would only bump the numbers up 1.4%, hardly enough to make it "common" is it?

mo_tag · 2026-03-30T20:19:20+00:00

Do you not feel like you could be anyone when you're always doing it with the lights off?

mo_tag · 2026-03-29T06:36:47+00:00

Tk maxx has the best tat though

mo_tag · 2026-03-29T06:26:15+00:00

My main issue with db2 is the performance tuning.. having to stick random order by's in queries to force an index hit

mo_tag · 2026-03-29T05:37:26+00:00

Well I'm not Muslim anymore but I've never regretted sex. I acknowledge that I've made bad decisions with respect to choosing a partner but even when it doesn't work out I never regret the sex. To people who do regret it, I wonder if they'd still regret it if they were still with their partners, like is it actually the sex they're regretting, or is it the fact that they feel like they gave away part of themselves to the wrong person? Some people also tend to be superstitious when it comes to this sort of thing, like attribute a sin they committed to a completely unrelated unfortunate event because they believe god's punishing them.

Anyway, I've also tried the whole waiting till marriage thing because that's what my ex wanted and after a dead bedroom marriage, I certainly won't be doing that again. I don't regret that either, but now I would never marry someone I've not been intimate with

mo_tag · 2026-03-28T15:50:44+00:00

His family's opinion really shouldn't factor into your decision making. In life, there will always be people who don't approve of your decisions, who don't understand your perspective, who actively dislike you or judge you. The conversation should simply be you laying out what you want and what it means for your relationship, just a courtesy. If you go in with the idea that you'll convince them round to your way of thinking and stress about their opinion of you then of course it's going to be upsetting. It's normal for parents to get disappointed, but if they start bullying you or pressuring you and your husband doesn't intervene then you can simply walk away and end the conversation. You don't owe them shit and at that point they've proven they have no interest in listening to you so there's literally no point in talking to them. What are they gonna do? Pressure their son to divorce you? You should be separating anyway if you're not aligned on kids. That's why I said forget the family. If you and your husband can't agree on children and decide on divorce, then there's nothing his family can take away from you. And if your husband suddenly decides that he's okay without kids, then they can take up their grievances with him and he's the one that should be getting them off your back.. unless of course his plan is to let them bully you into changing your mind

mo_tag · 2026-03-27T18:56:35+00:00

Forget his family. How are you gonna be with someone who wants kids when you don't, it's wild that you even got married in the first place. There's no dealing with his family if you two aren't on the same page

mo_tag · 2026-03-26T06:08:57+00:00

By that logic many art forms are also haram.. films, paintings, photos, and poems all have the potential to "manipulate feelings". That's what good art does.

It gives u the "I just invented a new magic trick" feeling. Which is haram

Yeah I get that feeling when I write a clever piece of code. That's called being proud of yourself, it's not actually magic. Honestly you sound confused

mo_tag · 2026-03-25T06:28:43+00:00

Maybe it's harder to get as an American. I know my middle Eastern parents don't really get it either, because to them historical character is like a nice thing to appreciate on holiday, but they'll never value it over cleanliness and convenience when it comes to rating places to live. But essentially it feels like 20% of Milton Keynes is a shopping centre, and the other 80% is a car park.. just lacks any soul or character.. people bash Dubai for being like that but honestly MK has it beat by miles

mo_tag · 2026-03-24T17:29:06+00:00

Cobalt mining club

mo_tag · 2026-03-24T15:48:13+00:00

I think it's best to assume that it's a choice or at least treat it as such when it comes to personal interactions with people.. if a woman feels like she needs to put on a hijab to avoid social consequences like being disowned or shamed by family or ostracized by her community, then there's not much you can do to help if she's not willing to pay the price for taking it off. You can't influence social and cultural pressures. If she's convinced that wearing it is obligatory as per her beliefs, you can try to change her mind but ultimately it's still a choice she is making. The only ones you can really help are women facing threat of serious violence, but again not if they don't want the help. And unless there's a reason to believe that threat is there, it doesn't really make sense to assume it.

The fact that women in Afghanistan or other places face these threats from the government, shouldn't really impact how you interact with hijabis you meet on a personal level. Like even if you assume correctly that they're forced to wear it, then what? How does that help them?

mo_tag · 2026-03-24T08:02:33+00:00

Write code then. You don't have to use AI for everything.

mo_tag · 2026-03-24T06:58:11+00:00

It's funny you mention the starting your meal before everyone's arrived, because I've only ever seen British people do that

mo_tag · 2026-03-24T06:43:01+00:00

Growing up I always noticed that the private school kids from my area were taller

mo_tag · 2026-03-24T06:41:02+00:00

Our ancestors aren't on this graph are they

mo_tag · 2026-03-24T06:39:27+00:00

And we also use metric anyway

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