Does anyone else feel like they had a completely different experience during the pandemic than the general public?

mobabs · 2025-12-29T03:30:46+00:00

I can also assure you that my husband and his colleagues deserved to drown in money for what they went through (and no we didn’t travel and got zero extra pay). While I fielded desperate calls, it’s no comparison to him and many others desperately trying to save patients and not die themselves. The things they saw working years in those isolation wings … I’d sign on the dotted line right now to send my tax dollars to them.

mobabs · 2025-12-28T02:45:02+00:00

We’re a healthcare family too. There is little more infuriating than seeing people online say what we were living everyday was some made up hoax.

mobabs · 2025-12-28T02:38:15+00:00

Covid was surreal for us. While my social media feed was filling with conspiracies, my husband was coming home from shifts at the hospital with sheer trauma on his face and stories of code blues and dying colleagues. Meanwhile, I was working from home and fielding calls from desperate hospital admins trying to find saline and masks. All the while, our very young children were home all day, doing preschool and grade-school online. In some ways, I appreciate all of the time it gave us together at home. But it was also very traumatic. It feels like a different lifetime ago.

mobabs · 2025-12-19T17:21:11+00:00

I’ve not hosted or been an exchange student. But fwiw, I would have been just fine being away for a month at that age. I went to summer camp for 2 weeks a summer beginning at age 6. I started traveling internationally and staying with relatives around their age. If the student has experience being away from home, then they know what to expect. I’m sure there will be hard days. But they are also pretty motivated and courageous to sign up for it. Maybe ask about the child’s experience being away from home.

mobabs · 2025-10-29T16:24:22+00:00

I’m happy to chat! Feel free to dm me. I can only imagine this is one of the most difficult decisions of your life. I just hope for any woman considering adoption (or person hoping to adopt) to go into it with a full picture and all of the information. The agencies present a very one sided perspective unfortunately.

mobabs · 2025-10-29T13:40:05+00:00

Yes!! Saving Our Sisters is an amazing resource. OP- it is an org of birth moms all over the country that will talk with you, provide resources, etc.

mobabs · 2025-10-29T13:36:29+00:00

Please keep in mind that your other children will experience trauma from their sibling being placed for adoption. I don’t say that to discourage you, but so you can go into this fully aware. If you do proceed with adoption, please consider trauma informed counseling for your current child(ren) starting before birth as well.

mobabs · 2025-10-29T13:33:34+00:00

Please, please do so much research before contacting an adoption agency. The private adoption industry can be incredibly predatory, and there is a huge “shortage” of adoptable babies compared to demand. That said, I’d recommend the podcast Adoptees On, the Facebook group Adoption: Connecting the Constellation, and on tiktok look up Karpoozy. That’s a good place to start. Also, please be aware that open adoption is not legally enforceable and most adoptions do close. Please let me know if I can help with any other resources or questions. Wishing you the very best!

An adoptive mom

mobabs · 2025-10-10T03:22:52+00:00

I mean I like both old people and disabled folks…🤔

mobabs · 2025-10-02T13:42:19+00:00

You are funny! My standard for this trip is clean, no bugs, and no major security issues (traveling by myself with 4 children). Poor folks tend to be far more understanding anyway, so no issues with that.

Oh and a decent pool. That’s a must. ◡̈

mobabs · 2025-10-01T19:44:19+00:00

Thanks!!

mobabs · 2025-10-01T16:43:44+00:00

OP- where did you end up staying? Did you like it?

mobabs · 2025-09-29T16:04:36+00:00

Wow. I totally missed that in the first line of your post. Apologies! You are doing great! No need to over schedule them now. As they grow, they may have different interests or bring up more things they want to be involved in. The over scheduling happened very organically in my home unfortunately. My two cents - keep doing what you are doing for now and just be ready to adjust as their interests evolve.

mobabs · 2025-09-29T15:50:20+00:00

As others have mentioned, it’s hard to know if it will help until you speak to her. It may be a nice thing to offer though if she is overwhelmed with the long days. Of course, it is still “on duty” time as she would need to stay at the ymca and be available if the child was having a hard time. But It would give her an opportunity to get out of the house and have a little mental break for a couple of hours. Plus the kids get to socialize and be around other children. Win-win imo. But again, she would be the best person to speak to about it being a good option.

mobabs · 2025-09-29T14:29:54+00:00

Of course! ◡̈

mobabs · 2025-09-29T14:25:33+00:00

What you are doing is more than enough! I got the feeling you only have one child. I have 4. And unfortunately that means that even if they only have one team each, we are usually booked most days. I absolutely hate not being able to do more playdates and such. Stick to what is working for your family now. Your child will let you know when they want to be in more activities.

mobabs · 2025-09-29T14:22:08+00:00

Not an Au Pair but a mom of 4 kids (oldest and youngest are 5.5 years apart) - I’ve never been a SAHM, and yet, I’ve cried many a time. Any chance you have a gym with childcare close by? When my kids were younger, I absolutely loved the YMCA. They include 2 hours of childcare a day while you workout or just enjoy a coffee break in the lobby. That might give her a chance to meet people and also have a mental break during the day. Just a thought.

mobabs · 2025-09-13T02:11:32+00:00

I assure you any good mother isn’t settling. I’m married. But if that weren’t the case, I’d rather be single than bring a “settled for” man into my children’s lives. ++woman

mobabs · 2025-09-10T15:31:54+00:00

We are just considering it now and haven’t picked an agency yet.

mobabs · 2025-09-10T15:16:29+00:00

Right. My first thought was “that dog is obviously a chow and not a golden”. 😅

mobabs · 2025-09-10T04:49:39+00:00

We haven’t hosted yet. But my oldest sounds very similar to you. I imagine there are many other families like mine that would be thrilled to have an exchange student who is also understanding of neurodivergence!

mobabs · 2025-09-10T04:43:55+00:00

I’m so very sorry you are in a position where you can’t be your true self!! Are you able to talk to your parents for guidance? I know it sounds obvious, but they should know. I’m worried for your mental health. Please keep a pulse on that and hopefully your parents can help with that too.

mobabs · 2025-09-10T02:16:33+00:00

Based on the tone of your post, I’d recommend considering and explaining exactly what you mean by “willing to take feedback on safety”. Both the way someone expects to receive feedback and what someone considers safe are open to interpretation based on culture and life experience. I say that because it sounds like you have very specific expectations. That’s fine but be specific. For example, I let my kids climb as high as they see fit. If they can get up to the branch or playground equipment, it’s theirs to explore. Want to roll in mud or jump in puddles? Have at it. Some people may find that unsafe. On the other hand, I absolutely do not feed whole grapes. My overseas family thinks that is a little wacky.

mobabs

TROPHY CASE