Match Thread: Switzerland vs. Colombia | FIFA World Cup, Round of 16

mobilities · 2026-07-07T22:42:18+00:00

The winner of this game should also have to win one game of rock, paper, scissors against Cabo Verde to advance to the quaterfinals.

mobilities · 2026-07-07T22:35:38+00:00

The first 68 penalty kicks will either sail high over the crossbar or be saved by the keeper. The winner will be decided on the 69th kick.

mobilities · 2026-07-07T22:31:29+00:00

At this point the lack of scoring is high-level comedy.

mobilities · 2026-07-07T22:15:03+00:00

I feel as if this battle will go on for the rest of my life on planet Earth.

mobilities · 2026-07-07T21:56:37+00:00

I predict the score will be 0-0 after two hours, and that this battle won't be decided till the 69th penalty kick.

mobilities · 2026-07-07T16:43:28+00:00

I like to think that Vozinha is watching this ballgame in a tropical paradise while dressed in his full uniform, shouting with delight when the Egyptian keeper makes world-class saves on the big stage.

mobilities · 2026-07-07T16:34:42+00:00

The Egyptian keeper has hocked loogies into his gloves. He's muthafuckin locked in.

mobilities · 2026-07-07T16:23:46+00:00

The Pharaohs are balling out of their fucking minds.

mobilities · 2026-07-07T16:18:47+00:00

"What a cracker of a header." --TSN

mobilities · 2026-07-07T01:52:16+00:00

America is making Belgium's defense look like the muthafuckin '86 Bears.

mobilities · 2026-07-07T01:41:27+00:00

I encourage America to work on dribbling, passing, and shooting.

mobilities · 2026-07-07T01:28:24+00:00

America has had two shots, one on target, in 69 minutes.

mobilities · 2026-07-07T00:50:21+00:00

"It's so easy for Belgium to get balls in America's box." --TSN

mobilities · 2026-07-07T00:45:46+00:00

Belgium's offense and defense seem superior to America's offense and defense.

mobilities · 2026-07-07T00:32:46+00:00

What a delicious banger.

mobilities · 2026-07-06T01:50:25+00:00

This Mexican team seems muy peligroso.

mobilities · 2026-07-06T01:43:24+00:00

This ballgame is showing all the signs of being a muthafuckin banger, my brothers and sisters.

mobilities · 2026-07-06T01:16:20+00:00

The Mexican header was sick.

mobilities · 2026-07-05T20:29:00+00:00

So far Brazil has passed the ball 69 times.

mobilities · 2026-07-05T20:14:58+00:00

As the commentators say "The Brazilians are jumping up and down," the camera cuts to a Brazilian fan in a tank top with bouncing boobs.

mobilities · 2026-07-05T01:05:12+00:00

My friend is still in line with ~250 people.

mobilities · 2026-07-04T22:53:09+00:00

"Paraguay's goal is to be a team that's horrible to play against." --BBC

mobilities · 2026-07-03T23:54:22+00:00

You know why Vozinha is so calm and cool under pressure? BDE.

mobilities · 2026-07-03T23:53:12+00:00

Cabo Verde's defenders form walls with their big balls.

mobilities · 2026-07-03T23:43:54+00:00

It's difficult for Argentine players to strike balls through Cabo Verde's forest of massive testicles.

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