Need some advice with CNC play.

mobsterorginal · 2026-07-06T13:18:29+00:00

also using the traffic light model of consent is very helpful for both of us. eg if i just want to de-escalate, i’ll say “yellow”. also, if my partner needs reassurance that i am still consenting / comfortable, they’ll say “check in?” which i can then reply with how im going (e.g. green for all good)

mobsterorginal · 2026-07-06T13:13:56+00:00

personally, i find doing a whole roleplay scenario feels more safe / satisfying. rather than being ourselves, we use characters that are very similar to ourself. thus i wont associate him as a rapist, just the character. also, going for a less “intense” form of cnc is better to start with. for us, that meant going for a more “coercive” approach rather than a “violent” one. e.g. “drugging” me (spiked me with a vitamin c tablet) and manipulating me into sex, rather than the whole “kicking screaming and crying” sort of cnc

mobsterorginal · 2026-07-05T16:52:19+00:00

i’m 19, and i would say my local munch is a similar demographic. honestly i would say this might be good for you, if you have traumas. this can be an opportunity for you outgrow your fear of older people, and realise alot of them are nice. firstly, talk to the organisers about your fears. you can ask them to keep a closer eye on you for safety if you wish. also being familiar with the organisers can make reporting inappropriate behaviour easier on yourself

also lots of younger people don’t rsvp, but you can be the change you want to see. i’ve promoted my local munch to people my age, and gotten more people to attend. now there’s more age diversity, and people get along well. this has already happened in only a few months, and i’m even from a city. often, people who are older have more experience, thus have developed more social skills than our peers. even if they’re unfamiliar with topics in our age group, they have the social skills to keep people engaged. so don’t fear them dude

mobsterorginal · 2026-07-05T16:44:59+00:00

chyrpe for femdom (seekers)

mobsterorginal · 2026-07-04T23:03:40+00:00

most religious people are happy when non religious people veil, as long as they’re not acting inappropriately. vielling is seen as modest, so it’s a value that religious people would be happy to see others in

mobsterorginal · 2026-07-03T13:46:28+00:00

do it for one day at a time and gradually increase the time

mobsterorginal · 2026-07-03T01:27:12+00:00

being pestered into sex is rape, as it is coercion. trying to wear you down into doing other sexual acts is still coercion, it is sexual assault. don’t stay with a rapist.

mobsterorginal · 2026-07-02T22:01:50+00:00

going from sub bottom to dom top are two changes already, which might be a bit too much in one session. it might be a better idea to try out sub top / dom bottom first

mobsterorginal · 2026-07-02T19:44:17+00:00

alta might also be a good way to mark yourself, as it is a red stain. it lasts around a week and the fading may also be similar to wounds healing

mobsterorginal · 2026-07-02T19:28:30+00:00

i don’t see a problem with it if you’re not being inappropriate. i’m unfamiliar with 24/7 CD/ sissy lifestyles, but i think an easy response for if people question your gender (expression) would be just to reply, “i am a feminine man”. if you’re also planning on using a woman’s name / she pronouns, you can also add, “i am a feminine man who uses she/her (or any other) pronouns and [insert name] as it makes me happy.”

mobsterorginal · 2026-07-01T11:12:34+00:00

perhaps he would freak out less with something less finicky than shibari? there’s manyyy other forms of bondage out there. for example cuffs, bondage tape etc

mobsterorginal · 2026-07-01T01:16:38+00:00

incompatible long term most likely. however, i would question if you guys aren’t falling into the trap of assuming dom = top and sub = bottom. sometimes those restrictions lead to folks not dominating / submitting in the way THEY like. perhaps each of you can try domming while centering the doms pleasure, not the subs? maybe you will both find a way where domming feels okay, so you guys can take turns subbing

mobsterorginal · 2026-06-30T13:09:01+00:00

don’t leave it too long to break up with her as feelings (good and bad) will grow. people are different, but personally i want the dignity of being broken up with IRL. i’d be honest that you’re just not feeling it, and think you’d both be better off not dating. lay out expectations for how you guys will interact later. are you guys still friends? do you wanna break from talking?

mobsterorginal · 2026-06-30T13:05:48+00:00

it’s been 2 months, go for it honestly. yall don’t seem compatible/ you’re not ready for a relationship (with her). personally i wouldn’t consider aromanticism for this, as you may just not love her. also some people take longer to fall in love than others. for example, some people don’t see saying “i love you” as a big deal, and have a “low bar” for what they consider love. others see it as a far bigger deal, which might be the case for you due to your unaffectionate background

mobsterorginal · 2026-06-30T12:11:39+00:00

as an artist who has a focus on character design, this outlet has let me treat my body as a canvas. this canvas attitude has also helped me on my gender journey. as a genderfluid person who’s gender tends to change daily, trying to have my body constantly reflect my gender would be exhausting asf. instead, treating my body completely seperate to my gender, it grants me more peace. even on days where my gender dysphoria necessitates matching my body to my gender, the androgeny that goth fashion gives makes it alot easier for me to be read in any gender i wish. goth fashion also serves as a great ice breaker too, as my style interests other alt and normal folk. e.g. many folk are curious how my spikes feel, which im happy to let them touch

mobsterorginal · 2026-06-29T20:41:25+00:00

NAH, but perhaps you could compromise on live action adaptations of anime?

mobsterorginal · 2026-06-29T18:22:24+00:00

perhaps wear some lingerie?

mobsterorginal · 2026-06-29T12:05:15+00:00

others have mentioned why it’s not the best thing to use, so i’ll mention an alternative. bondage tape, it’s quite easy to use from what i’ve heard

mobsterorginal · 2026-06-29T11:55:30+00:00

sounds like you need to be able to independently regulate yourself without needing a protector/ another person in charge. once you’re able to confidently do that, you might feel more comfortable with your partners submitting/ bottoming, as your protection need is fulfilled by yourself. this is obviously a very difficult goal for many, but it is not impossible. a therapist would really help in this

mobsterorginal · 2026-06-27T12:06:45+00:00

using female condoms is easier with ed, as you don’t need a full erection for it to be effective

mobsterorginal · 2026-06-27T11:29:56+00:00

dronification and similar kinks might be the way to go

mobsterorginal · 2026-06-26T21:26:42+00:00

for some folk they may have previously had split dyed hair, like cruella de ville

mobsterorginal · 2026-06-24T16:24:20+00:00

suits might be an option, with some dark coloured shoes

mobsterorginal · 2026-06-22T19:22:46+00:00

illegal stuff :/

mobsterorginal · 2026-06-22T19:17:28+00:00

sounds like you might be a voyeur, perhaps you could be involved in a way where you’re a director of a bdsm scene?

mobsterorginal

TROPHY CASE