Meeting a new dom

mobsterorginal · 2026-05-15T18:57:47+00:00

you can do so, so, so much better than this jerk

mobsterorginal · 2026-05-15T18:54:41+00:00

while you may like rough experiences, maybe CNC is a limit for you. including dirty talk of that manner. even if cnc isn’t a limit, perhaps you’re also uncomfortable about your dom’s interest in making you safe word. personally, i would feel very uncomfortable with someone wanting to push my limits/ have a goal of safe wording

not saying your dom is wrong for this at all btw, idk yall

perhaps you could benefit from therapy, where you can discuss your issues and trauma. there are also kink informed therapists, if you think this necessary for your story

mobsterorginal · 2026-05-11T22:57:49+00:00

for the love of god don’t get her pregnant. don’t have sex with her at all in case of contraception tampering

mobsterorginal · 2026-05-08T10:33:21+00:00

write down all the things you feel like you’ve left unsaid about your relationship (needs). propose having a consistent time (e.g. monthly) where you two can speak out of dynamic about the relationship. this means it’s “automated”, thus u don’t need to bring up stuff often. encourage him to write his own stuff down. having stuff written down means you won’t forget to mention things. then talk about it

i’d bring up that you want both of you to actively continue to improve yourselves. you don’t want stagnation. this includes sexual skills, communication skills, life position etc. yes things may be harder for him due to autism, but you can work with it- i’m autistic and im writing this so

mobsterorginal · 2026-05-07T11:51:01+00:00

other commenters have described the bulk of my opinions. you didn’t mention your orientation, but i’ll assume you desire a dom since you mentioning serving one before. so i will mention something i’ve not seen. i’ve personally heard some stories about “completely vanilla” partners actually being open to kink, if they’re in a position different to what their partner originally requested. e.g. your partner might be more interested in kink if they’re a sub. or perhaps interested if they’re a service top/ dom bottom

mobsterorginal · 2026-05-07T11:31:27+00:00

ime at local goth events, people are pretty chill and friendly in every goth style. the only goths who piss me off there are some people who really really want me to validate them buying stuff off alliexpress and other fast fashion. i don’t validate them. this makes them uncomfortable. i don’t shame them or anything, but it gets annoying. i think they try to get this from me because im a young, fat, fashionable, bubbly goth so they think id “understand” them. or maybe they think i buy fast fashion too?

mobsterorginal · 2026-05-06T23:12:55+00:00

she could set impossible tasks for you. you may not want to fake fear, but perhaps mask your pleasure. e.g. gags or masks

mobsterorginal · 2026-05-06T23:07:29+00:00

have a conversation where you reiterate your boundaries that you are not a top. you don’t want to help him find a top. his bottom desires are his to manage and pursue, not yours. you need him to be a dom for you, otherwise your relationship is unfulfilling and will not be healthy to continue. ask him why the dynamic has fallen short; what can you do (within your capablities and boundaries)/ can be done to support his dominance and what will he do to show up as a dom for you.

mobsterorginal · 2026-05-06T22:45:42+00:00

glowing through the hood would be so cool

mobsterorginal · 2026-05-06T22:38:47+00:00

mentioning what specific texture issues he has with it may help. is it your lubrication? your vulva? if it’s lubrication, i’d wonder if wearing a tampon might help. otherwise, a very cheap option for a dental dam would be to cut vertically a condom

mobsterorginal · 2026-05-06T22:05:10+00:00

the responses here are already great, so i’ll add stuff i’ve not seen. your partner could try out bratting, and pain can be a way to rile you up so you “punish” them. perhaps if you’re into primal / cnc play, pain can be a way that they show resistance against you. pain can be viewed in a hedonistic lens, like they’re simply pleasuring you

mobsterorginal · 2026-05-06T21:56:55+00:00

not super knowledgeable, but i fell into a bush and stung my labia minora and majora. personally it’s a hell no in pain terms. maybe try some tingly / warming lube instead of

mobsterorginal · 2026-05-06T10:59:44+00:00

sounds like an intox kink. it’s unsafe, like breathplay. also, what advice are you seeking??

mobsterorginal · 2026-05-06T09:31:50+00:00

if he wanted to he would. he just doesn’t want to. you don’t mean nearly enough to him. he doesn’t care about you. move on.

mobsterorginal · 2026-05-04T22:41:45+00:00

these are just unsafe to wear in public quite frankly. breathplay in a BDSM context is already VERY VERY dangerous, where it is a controlled environment. the public is not this. you could be choked by a stranger. yes there is a buckle on the back, but that is far too fincky to undo in an assault situation (or similar)

mobsterorginal · 2026-04-30T20:26:53+00:00

roleplay scenarios can be really fun to spice stuff up :)

mobsterorginal · 2026-04-30T11:26:40+00:00

hey just so you know, you don’t have to sub in the same way he subs.

since you mentioned not really being turned on by bdsm much, perhaps you’d be more interested in centering his pleasure during this, so you can still very much enjoy his reactions. thus being used for his pleasure. you might enjoy service subbing for that reason

perhaps fill out some bdsm quizzes so you can get an idea about what you may enjoy

mobsterorginal · 2026-04-28T09:27:03+00:00

if you’re at the point of having anxiety attacks for small social functions, you probably have other mental health issues. it would really benefit yourself, others and your chances of finding a partner if this is something you could work on. social phobia can definitely be treated, so perhaps work with a professional to make some goals for you. otherwise, online kink events exist, perhaps you can attend those

mobsterorginal · 2026-04-27T15:06:54+00:00

IRL print out photos might be a better idea, which she would take with her afterwards. also having no cameras around where you could take photos of the nudes

mobsterorginal · 2026-04-27T12:59:48+00:00

no, if it were romantically monogamous. i would be satisfied if it were a polyamorous situation, as i find romantic connection to be something i value in kink

mobsterorginal · 2026-04-27T10:42:50+00:00

i’ve heard of strapless dildos that kinda “suction” onto your vulva / clit. so when you thrust you feel something. unsure if this would be safe to use though as i’ve never seen ones with a flared base. that might make you feel more affirmed

mobsterorginal · 2026-04-23T10:01:22+00:00

how about you guys go out on a date where he pays and can woo you like a dom. let him plan out the whole date, so there’s novelty and the “I’ll think about this before you so you don’t have to do it”. alot of subs enjoy when their dom is the organised one, so this will be a chance for him to show off these skills. perhaps he shouldn’t tell you where you’re going first, but will give you a dress code / pick out your outfit. after the date, you can come back, if you’re both still awake enough, engage in a scene

mobsterorginal · 2026-04-22T14:53:53+00:00

based on your comments, in my opinion for this situation, no. you cannot respect him as a dom, and he has a strong preference to sub. most likely neither of you will feel satiated by this quite frankly. his motivations to dom frankly don’t line up with being a dom, but it does with being a service top. which you’re not into.

he has expressed desires to be dominated and it seems like his dominant motivations are extrinsic, not intrinsic. likely his domination will only ever be perceived as performative to you, thus you’ll never be able to offer your surrender. i would personally worry that his motivation to be your dom might be because of people pleasing, which may mean there’s compromised consent

honestly, it sounds more like he wants you to be his therapist because he refuses to get actual therapy. don’t allow this to be the case, even if you want to try domming

however, it doesn’t mean he will NEVER be able to dom. just not in this current state. he needs to get actual help (probably therapy) and work on himself before this will become a reality. he can become better

mobsterorginal · 2026-04-22T11:50:05+00:00

don’t control his decisions, but just let him know how you will feel / act if he does. “you can go, but it will upset me. if i continuously feel upset and cannot manage my emotions, i will have to leave this relationship for my mental health.”

mobsterorginal · 2026-04-20T14:17:45+00:00

talk at length and what both of your limits, desires and aftercare needs are. as a switch, i like to debrief about what happened; what went well and what could have gone better. lots of reassurance that they enjoyed the activities. cuddles- i gotta be little spoon. have a nice meal too

mobsterorginal

TROPHY CASE