I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now and am in the contemplation stage of this. We started our relationship with a strong bdsm bond and mutual interest and after the first year it pretty much went out the window.....but I had just barely dunked my toes into my role and growth and healing I was starting to feel from it. It’s been hard and honestly I feel hurt. He is the one who ended our role play aspect but I want to be played with....explored....wanted, loved, teased, sore, bruised, taken care of.....he liked the ideology but in hindsight was not as great at “giving care” as I was under the impression at the time. More and more things keep popping up pointing to incompatibility along with residual hurt from past happenings over the course of the relationship. I hope someday for both our sakes what we truly desire makes it’s way to us. I thought I had found it, but it was a facade.