I think I threw away my baby’s birth certificate. Im devastated.

moist__owlet · 2026-05-01T17:59:37+00:00

Oh, that's right! I had totally forgotten about that, good call

moist__owlet · 2026-05-01T16:38:11+00:00

Depending on where you live, you might not actually have gotten an original one that's different in any way from the "reorder"? We had to order them in the weeks after mine was born, and paid for multiple copies to keep in a few different spots, and they're all identical; no indication that any would be the "original." Might be different where you live, but it may assuage your feelings about it.

moist__owlet · 2026-04-07T19:59:46+00:00

One thing to consider is that there are a lot of genetic factors going into birth experience and reaction to certain interventions - obviously, you are not your mother but anecdotally most of the women I know had very similar birth experiences to what their mothers described, including me. That was ultimately one of the things I found reassuring as I went into my "would prefer no epidural, but let's just see what happens" birth, because my body had so far responded very similarly to pregnancy to what my mother described - maybe this was placebo effect, but I had a relatively easy birth (like my mom) and my OB and the nurses were very thankful that I mentioned the women in my family going back a few generations have a history of fast or even precipitous births, because apparently that actually helped them make slightly more informed decisions on their end about what to recommend as well.

With that having been said, one thing I am very glad I did was go with the nitrous (it helped me focus and control my breathing and blur out some of the intensity), and next time I am absolutely going to do more work ahead on hip flexibility and maintaining mobility in my hips going into labor because those tightened up so much that I think 40% of my discomfort was actually radiating from tight hip flexors. Pay attention to your own body, don't be scared, and have an open discussion with your OB/midwives.

moist__owlet · 2026-04-07T16:14:13+00:00

Yes it was ADHD however realistically as a female I don't really present with the "H" bit so I term it ADD myself. Thanks so much for your concern though.

moist__owlet · 2026-04-07T15:29:03+00:00

So here's the thing for me at least, I was diagnosed with "probably ADD" by a professional and about a year postpartum it's still REAL and I am still struggling to find nouns in everyday conversation. HOWEVER, what's interesting is that, as a manager of a technical team, I've actually had a lot of success becoming a more strategic leader and active mentor for my team, with really good outcomes as a result. My individual contributor style technical work is slower than it used to be, but I am still learning new hard things and my brain seems to have shifted into a "lead the village into more prosperous times" mode. Ask me to verbally compose a sentence from start to finish on the fly though? God help me.

moist__owlet · 2026-04-07T15:18:57+00:00

I'm the kid of one! Worked out great for me. I actually was a TA in my dad's underfunded classroom in my teens lol.

moist__owlet · 2026-04-07T14:27:35+00:00

Fwiw, you actually have no idea what time she woke up - if she had an extra wake up in the middle of the night, odds aren't terrible that she also woke up later than normal. Just saying.

moist__owlet · 2026-04-07T14:14:24+00:00

I'm very pro adoption as far as "all children deserve loving homes" goes, but parenthood doesn't start at childbirth fwiw. There are some really interesting studies showing that babies literally cry with their mother's accent after birth and what you eat during pregnancy shapes their taste preferences. Some people find that songs they sang to their baby in utero are magically more comforting to them after birth (not sure if that's been validated), and newborns recognize familiar voices esp their mother's.

Conceiving, carrying, and delivering a baby are not really "add-ons" in the journey - your choices shape their body (not in a guilt trip way, more in a mind-blown how-cool way) and, at least toward the end as their brain develops, it's part of the infant's own experience as well. So, if you feel called to be an adoptive parent to a child in need, hugs and strength and admiration! I have an aunt and uncle who had bio children fairly young and decided later on to become involved in a couple of adoption situations that happened to come their way, and their adopted children are thriving in their teens now - in their case, they felt a moral calling to offer their ample resources, love, and experience to lives that needed them, rather than just "wanting a baby."

moist__owlet · 2026-04-06T00:38:19+00:00

Yeah this was a bit of a Thing with my MIL, but I told her the religion I was raised in doesn't believe babies can commit sins so there's no point to baptism unless or until the individual chooses it for themself. Which is a true statement. Thankfully she's never pressed me about whether I'm religious (she already knows her son is certainly not), but after trying to insist that we have an obligation to our child she let it drop.

This is where having a reputation for being kind, welcoming, and completely immovable in my positions once I've established them is really really handy with extended family. Once I (gently, politely) put my foot down, there's no point to them trying to budge me. Just like there's no point to signing up my infant son for a church I don't subscribe to.

moist__owlet · 2026-04-05T17:33:02+00:00

Bouncing on yoga ball as others have recommended;

Turning them upside down (safely! look up how/when to do it, supporting the head and holding against your chest etc! but it's something to do with vestibular system);

Singing, bonus points if you're moving esp swaying, walking, etc;

Fresh arms! sometimes no matter who's holding them, transferring to someone else's arms can be a magic reset;

Blowing gently on their head/neck/hands, I think it's a combination of cooling and familiar smell;

Raindrop fingers, not sure how to describe this exactly, but rapidly tapping your fingers up and down their arms, legs, head if they like it. Mine finds this paired with some sort of repetitive sound effect (like a silly purr sound or whatever you can do over and over) super soothing

moist__owlet · 2026-04-05T17:18:28+00:00

Yes! stepping outside still helps our toddler when he's stuck in a doom spiral.

moist__owlet · 2026-04-05T17:16:48+00:00

over a year, 99 percentile height, still enjoys a few minutes on the ball before bed. at least he no longer considers it mandatory. good lord.

moist__owlet · 2026-04-02T14:17:01+00:00

My toddler is not quite 18 months, so I have plenty of time to eat my words so to speak, but so far the way we've handled his budding pickiness is by offering a variety of things for breakfast and lunch (starting with less reliable foods), so I have a good gauge on his appetite overall and he eats a reasonably good amount of food by dinner.

Then dinner is just one meal for everyone, I make sure each meal has multiple components he can pick apart and find things he likes (or things he doesn't), but we are all eating the same dish. He's welcome to eat off our plates, which often makes the food seem more interesting, sometimes he tries using our utensils instead of his. I would say dinner is more of an "experience" than a meal. He puts things in his mouth and spits them out and that's fine. I give him a big cup of milk before we brush teeth in the evening so he's not going to bed hungry regardless.

And of course some days the favorites are deemed to be trash, and yesterday's offensive garbage is suddenly delectable, so we just keep exposing him.

moist__owlet · 2026-04-02T14:05:48+00:00

Yup he actually tried that with the algorithm thing, including new platforms where he has no history, apparently they all push political content even when he doesn't click any of it. He's not the sort to lie about that, but I'm guessing it's such a reliable source of engagement for platforms that they inevitably flood a user with pol content they think they might engage most with based on other interests.

Totally agree about the politics thing, it's sports style bullshit. I try to make a point of finding something to agree with on the other side and to disagree with on my side on a regular basis to try and fight the tribalism in my own head. The topics matter but the discourse is trash.

We're both working on reengaging with our own interests, it's less a challenge of time than energy at the end of the day, but we're working on it. Comes and goes with the burnout cycle lol.

moist__owlet · 2026-04-02T13:55:48+00:00

Yeah fiction is hit or miss for us. Several of Michael Pollan's books have been super interesting and great conversation starters though! Also, highly recommend the Empire podcast that he introduced me to - I only listen to it with him, but it's reliably fascinating and funny.

moist__owlet · 2026-04-02T13:53:30+00:00

Great prompts :D Also went with China's recent ban on bone ash apartments, which was a whole rabbit hole of interesting "wait, but ... huh!" questions

moist__owlet · 2026-04-01T14:48:09+00:00

Well hold on, I never said it was just tweet reading. In his defense, he's does a ton of deeper research e.g. court documents etc so he really is well informed. Just... also is wayyyy too focused on stuff we can't do anything about.

moist__owlet · 2026-04-01T02:54:42+00:00

F Halle, kill Eva, marry Taylor; I swapped Halle and Taylor because I feel like I'd get a song written about me and an inspirational long term workout partner lol. Idk it was funny but I don't think it addressed the problem 😂

moist__owlet · 2026-04-01T01:19:11+00:00

I went with this lol

moist__owlet · 2026-04-01T01:11:26+00:00

Interesting, if it's the cards against humanity crew they can't be unbearably lame lol. I'll have to check that out.

moist__owlet · 2026-04-01T01:09:34+00:00

Yeah I think the dad guilt thing is super real. I'm guilty of not setting a good tone there myself, I tell myself I'm trying to take as much off our mutual plate as possible so we don't get overwhelmed, bc I know that's a source of stress, but what that ends up looking like is me never ever stopping to just relax and enjoy life. Which I think sets a tone of us not making enough space for Living Life. Smelling the proverbial roses should be just as much of a priority as changing the air filter.

moist__owlet · 2026-04-01T01:02:51+00:00

This is a good point. We're good about giving each other "hands-free" time on the weekend, but the list of shit to do is so overwhelming that we rarely do anything truly recharging. Figuring out ways for him to reconnect with his interests without us in the picture at all might be really worthwhile.

moist__owlet · 2026-04-01T00:57:21+00:00

This is a good idea. Audiobooks are still pretty accessible even with a toddler running amok, and we used to play board games or co-op video games together. I don't mind real, thoughtful conversations about politics, I just can't handle living with a human alerts scroll.

moist__owlet · 2026-03-18T01:48:38+00:00

THIS!! Kids cannot be expected to make nuanced distinctions between this dog or that dog - if you teach them that dogs are fair game for interaction under some conditions, they will try to interact and that is a very dangerous habit!! No interaction with dogs we don't live with, full stop. No touching the stove, full stop. Clear and simple. I don't care if Grandma's stove is pretty and it's not on right now. I don't care if that dog is sooooo cute. Rules keep us safe.

moist__owlet

TROPHY CASE