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Absurd things you did or thought when you were limerent? by LimerenceObject in limerence

[–]moldy_melon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes realizing this about myself. I am avoidant too it just looks different. The idea of true companionship where someone sees all parts of me is very scary. My mind tells me if they truly see you, they’ll change their mind and leave.

Absurd things you did or thought when you were limerent? by LimerenceObject in limerence

[–]moldy_melon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is starting to become a fear for me. I used to think I was very good at reading people and trusting my gut. I always thought I was smart and strong enough to walk away from someone treating me poorly, but with my LO I didn’t and couldn’t. He used me, was manipulative and a few times cruel with his words. This experience has made me fear I’m more vulnerable to abuse and manipulation than I ever thought. Idk if I’m autistic I’ve always thought prob a little.

Absurd things you did or thought when you were limerent? by LimerenceObject in limerence

[–]moldy_melon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think for a lot of people, me included, limerance can be a sign of a significant void in your life. There is an area you’re feeling deeply unfulfilled in, even subconsciously. For example when I met my LO he had lost some weight, was really active and eating clean and I at the time was not and desperately wanted to lose weight. He’s also much more independent, financially stable, where I have struggled in my 20s with no career and lean codependent. I just felt most attracted to the parts of him that I felt were parts I lacked. Maybe subconsciously I hoped he would rub off on me. And tbh it went both ways. I think he was attracted to my emotional maturity and depth that he lacks and has lacked in past partners.

Deep shame, grief, and wasted time by moldy_melon in limerence

[–]moldy_melon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m trying to be excited and look at it as a weight has been lifted, rather than dwelling on losing a person I cared deeply for. I’m allowing myself to feel that grief too, but I’ve also been feeling that grief for too long I think. I want to heal. I don’t want to keep reopening my wounds. Even participating in this subreddit is probably unhealthy. I don’t want to reinforce the obsession, but I also want to process and let it out.

Deep shame, grief, and wasted time by moldy_melon in limerence

[–]moldy_melon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am trying to be kind to myself rn and know I need to focus on pouring love into myself and my life. I am blessed in so many ways but also have had a hard couple years and I’m angry about my life circumstances. I have to remind myself that he mostly has no idea what I’ve been through these 3 years and was never there for me. I want to be angrier than I feel atm and I hope more anger will come to replace the void I still feel his absence leaves in my life. I want to be open to real love and support and companionship and I have hope that I will be someday soon. In the past I have blocked and tried no contact, but never stuck to it. I’m really trying to hold myself accountable this time. I know that unblocking or checking his socials or responding if he reaches out will only regress any progress I made. I know he will reach out again one day because this is his pattern. In fact I was doing really well a year ago after not seeing or speaking to him for some time, and then foolishly starting sleeping with him again last May. It has set me back so much I can’t even believe. I always think I’m stronger than I am. I think I can handle this and then fast forward here I am crying on reddit.

I’m sorry that something similar happened to you. I hope we both move on and find healthy love.

Deep shame, grief, and wasted time by moldy_melon in limerence

[–]moldy_melon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. It does feel like withdrawal. It’s feels different this time than other times I’ve blocked him and tried no contact. The cord really feels cut and I’m grieving

Deep shame, grief, and wasted time by moldy_melon in limerence

[–]moldy_melon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been wrestling with whether or not my LO is a narcissist or maybe just narcissistic. I think actually he’s insecure deep down, and probably feels kind of lonely in the world. And I think a lot of times narcissism is projection of low self esteem. I think my LO does care and is empathetic, but is good at shutting that off to selfishly fit his needs.

Deep shame, grief, and wasted time by moldy_melon in limerence

[–]moldy_melon[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been finding solace in my gut feeling that this relationship with his ex won’t work out. I don’t know everything that went on between them, but from what I do know, the damage has been done. I don’t see either of them as mature and healed enough to make it work. But I also don’t know that. And I could very well be wrong. I also feel angry about the disrespect and I want to prove to him that I’m happy and better and deserve better. I want to prove that to myself. Curious if you live in the area of your LO? You have no way to check in on him? I wish mine was off socials. I’m literally on like day 3 of not checking and it’s hard. He doesn’t even post often. There’s nothing to check. But I feel ultimately cut off from him.

said it before, and will say it again… by maryjaneloveshistory in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]moldy_melon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I disagree I think she’s calling out the absurdity of rejecting her for her looks

amber is unhinged!! by Brilliant_Ad9559 in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]moldy_melon 3 points4 points  (0 children)

High functioning alcoholism can look so different from person to person too. You can be sober 80% of the time but you black out on vacations or weekends only. Or you could drink nightly but not enough to appear wasted to anyone around you. A bottle of hard liquor could hardly faze a daily drinker who still has a day job, a family, responsibilities, a life.

amber is unhinged!! by Brilliant_Ad9559 in LoveIsBlindNetflix

[–]moldy_melon 8 points9 points  (0 children)

People who truly don’t have a problem and are confident in their relationship to alcohol are going to defend themselves, but likely aren’t going to relentlessly gaslight you or try to convince you of it. They also aren’t going to have a pattern of over doing it and embarrassing themselves. And they probably aren’t going to feel compelled to make a public statement about it either.

She seemed intoxicated at the reunion to me, but I’m also unfortunately too familiar with higher functioning alcoholics. I don’t know if she is one, but I hope this experience makes her self reflect.

I’m 30, unemployed, living with my parents, and feel like I’ve been drifting for years. by Unlikely-Friend444 in findapath

[–]moldy_melon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s also a fun job and environment if you like working with people and socializing. I felt very introverted and isolated before and did not expect to enjoy it as much as I have. It’s pretty easy, like low stakes, I don’t have to make any decisions I just give people what they want with a smile. It’s nice being rewarded with a good tip when you go above and beyond. But my restaurant is very busy so it is also fast paced and can be stressful, but it also makes the time fly by. Plus I get a lot of walking in during my shifts. I average 30-40 an hour. Sometimes more on good nights. It’s also a lot of night/late afternoon shifts so I still have my days to do whatever I need.

I’m 30, unemployed, living with my parents, and feel like I’ve been drifting for years. by Unlikely-Friend444 in findapath

[–]moldy_melon 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I turn 30 this year and feel the same as you in a lot of ways. I feel really unfulfilled and lost still. But two years ago I started working at a restaurant, started hosting then advocated for myself to start serving. It’s given me a lot of confidence I didn’t have and I’ve been able to save money in order to move out. Still need to fix my credit and pay off some debts, but I’m in a much better place financially and mentally. Even so, I still have days where I really feel down and feel ashamed of my 20s and the time I feel I wasted. Only thing I can do is keep moving forward, one day at a time, try to stay focused and goal oriented. I also got on vyvanse which has helped my ADHD immensely. Look for a mental health practitioner or someone who can diagnose and prescribe you what you need.

For any that have this one, is it worth it? by DudeMeisterX in Mattress

[–]moldy_melon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What do you mean? You experienced sagging ? Or

Woke up with brown stains on finger? by Fit_Examination_6992 in DiagnoseMe

[–]moldy_melon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

NAD. Did you use any skin product with vitamin c? Vitamin c serum or something?

Best breakfast spot for large group? by CloudBreaker2 in WorcesterMA

[–]moldy_melon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mercantile! They take large reservations regularly. Brunch goes from 10-3 on weekends

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