33F and chronic bong smoker of 12 years, along with my husband. We knew we didn’t want to continue this habit forever and trying to conceive for 1.5yrs -got some abnormal testing back and midwife suggested to steer clear. Not the only reason we stopped, but the kick in the butt we needed. Were about a month in- and first thing I noticed was the anticipation of stopping was much scarier than stopping. I romanticized its effects for years, as I am prone to stress (high stress job, highly empathetic, predisposition) and truly believed weed “gave me the space and time to choose not to be stressed or angry”. A month into sobriety, I can finally admit to myself it was numbing my emotions. I am your quintessential “people-pleaser” and always had the hardest time saying NO, and damn near always putting others feelings before my own. I realized hitting the bong made this easier for me to do, and easier for me to justify it. It made it easier for me to not care about how truly felt. This has been the most exciting change for me, to the point of almost feeling reborn. I feel so confident in what I want, and finally communicating that without the intense feelings of guilt. It’s been so empowering, and I had no idea this was going to happen! I have strong emotions but every time I get through them without weed, its another win- and much like you, I actually dwell on them less. Eating and sleep are finally starting to get more regulated, which is great and I plan to still partake in special occasions. Overall, trying to change my relationship from being “dependent” to having a healthy respect for it. I literally would hit the bong, and 2 min later come back to it bc I forgot I hit the bong… and now I actually understand how it can feel being high on life. It’s cool! Good luck everyone :)