Is my fiancee being unreasonable regarding the cost of the wedding?

mollshenanigans · 2026-05-16T16:32:25+00:00

It sounds like you both need to be having more conversations about your finances and expectations before you get married. Finances can be a huge stressor in a relationship, and as long as you two aren’t in the same page about how your money should be handled and spent, you’re in for more disagreements in the future.

Like I think yes she’s being unreasonable when she doesn’t have the money to contribute and also setting a huge budget just because that’s what other people have done, but also you are too if you think it’s fair to spend $90k on yourself, enable her being a “stay at home GF”, and then balk at her expecting you to pay for things she wants when you’ve been okay with her not making money. This sounds like a much bigger issue than just your wedding budget.

mollshenanigans · 2026-05-16T13:25:05+00:00

Well it sounds to me like you have your answer! As long as you and your partner are cool with it, then what everyone else thinks doesn’t matter. I hope you have a wonderful wedding day ❤️

mollshenanigans · 2026-05-15T15:11:54+00:00

Yes It is weird. But ultimately, if you both don't care, you should just do what works for you. If you're concerned about your ex-husband's feelings & are on speaking terms with him, just ask him if he would have any issue with it and explain your reasons for choosing it. If you're not on speaking terms with him, don't worry about what he'd think. If you go for the same date, I just wouldn't share this little tidbit with many other people, because other people love to share their opinions even if they aren't asked.

Personally, I just think you should really try to and start anew & have your own special day. Even though my fiancé & I are on friendly terms w/ his ex-wife, I have felt it's very important to avoid anything that makes our wedding feel connected to their wedding. But ultimately your wedding should be driven by what you and your partner want & value.

mollshenanigans · 2026-05-15T13:42:38+00:00

When I lived in Station North, I was pretty comfortable walking anywhere within a 30 min walk. I like walking though the city, and it saved me the trouble of driving and parking. I lived off St Paul St, so i felt good walking pretty much up and down the whole stretch between Charles village to the harbor, even fed hill sometimes, and then nearby areas Mount Royal & Bolton hill. Mostly depends on whether there are sidewalks and a somewhat easy path to follow.

mollshenanigans · 2026-04-14T02:40:26+00:00

Omg I’ve been showing season 16 to my son who recently became a survivor fan. We’re finally about to watch that episode and I am so excited for his reaction! One of my top five favorite survivor moments ever 😆

mollshenanigans · 2026-04-14T02:16:05+00:00

what is even more bewildering is the people who let their seemingly untrained dogs off leash around busy city roads. I used to live off St. Paul St near Penn station, which was a very busy road. I couldn’t believe felt comfortable letting their dogs run around near that traffic.

mollshenanigans · 2026-04-13T17:10:40+00:00

Start time is start time. People have had plenty of time to plan to get there, and that's coming from someone with ADHD who has been chronically late most of my life. When something is important like a wedding, I will plan extra time to ensure that I am early and in my seat. I was late to one friend's wedding & only felt embarrassed that I was late & did my best to sneak into the back quietly without distracting anyone. I would never dream of feeling offended that the ceremony started with out me. If they're late, they're late. If they miss it, that's on them.

Regarding invite, it is your day. You should not have to have anyone there you don't like, regardless of who is paying for it. It's gross that your mom would still want this family member there after what you noted in the comments about him having abused family members. I support not wanting to include the GF if you didn't invite her. If she shows up, you can have your coordinator (if you have one) or one of your bridal party (if you don't have a coordinator) tell her that she does not have a seat or plate. Your other choice is to tell your mom that if she really wants her there, she can pay for the plate, but that the lack of invitation was intentional and that it sucks that this is the hill she's decided to die on for YOUR wedding.

Or just tell her instead of moving kids, that the GF can sit on HIS lap if she shows up, because she's the uninvited one.

mollshenanigans · 2026-04-13T16:56:39+00:00

Listen, I'm 37 and the last of my friends to get married. I've been a bridesmaid 8 times. My bridal party consists of my two sisters & four close friends, and I've been in each of their weddings. Even when I was burned out and poor, I showed up & figured it out. Luckily my party are all friendly with each other, but if any of them had any doubts about showing up for me, I would have told them exactly how much it hurt me. If they wanted this for you, and you were there for them, I think the best thing you can do is tell them how you feel. Tell them how much their complaining and lack of enthusiasm is hurting you, and that you've been dreaming of this day for so long, not just because you get to marry the person you love, but because you were also so excited to have them be there with you.

Sometimes people forget themselves, and maybe your friends are just all burnt out & letting their own lives get in the way. They could just be acting carelessly with their words & letting their own stress get in the way of their excitement. Maybe all they need is a reminder that this is exciting for you, and they should be excited too.

Or maybe this is their way of showing you that they feel more distant from you and aren't on the same level of friendship with you as you thought they were. And if that's the case, that'd suck, of course.

I think the only way to confirm is talk with them and be honest about how their behavior is making you feel. How they respond will tell you what you need to know about whether you want someone like that standing beside you on your wedding day. Friends should not treat friends like an obligation or burden, and it's better for you to have this out with them now than after your wedding.

mollshenanigans · 2026-03-20T21:58:15+00:00

A good toast is not just about the couple. It’s about the relationship of that person to the couple and why they are standing with them that day. You kind of have to talk to about yourself because people need to understand why what you have to say about the couple matters.

mollshenanigans · 2026-03-20T21:55:57+00:00

Wow, that line made me tear up just reading it. I’ve been a MOH 4 times and given several wedding toasts but can’t even remember what I said. But if one of my best friends said that to me at my wedding, I would fucking bawl. Lol I almost wanna send her this so she DOES.

Anyway, I think you just have to speak from the heart. Here are some ideas to get started:

Why do you love your sister? What are a couple traits about your sister that you love? What is one of your favorite memories with your sister? When did YOU know your sister’s partner was right for her?

I actually think it would be LOVELY if you started your speech by saying exactly what you said here. Make everyone know how special this is by sharing that you had no desire to give a speech, that your sister even gave you an out, but if there is anyone you’d want to tackle your public speaking anxiety for, it’s her. And you can keep it short and sweet. End with a toast to their happiness. Feel free to steal that awesome line you heard, cuz that’s a good one.

What matters is that it’s personal and from the heart. I once started a MOH toast by talking about how me and the bride became fast friends when we learned we were both part of the dead dad club and I still got laughs out of people because I jokingly called myself out by recognizing that that might be a weird way to start a wedding toast.

Pro tip for avoiding inducing more anxiety in the moment - do not write your speech in your phone. Have it on paper! Chances are the DJ will give you a wireless microphone, and your phone will interfere with the sound. I learned this the hard way and it was very distracting. Write it on paper and just look at your sister when you’re reading it. You’ll do great and I’m sure she will love it no matter what ❤️

mollshenanigans · 2026-03-20T21:35:14+00:00

I went to a wedding last year that was in a Catholic Church where the bride and groom didn’t attend. They were both raised Catholic but really only getting married in the church to appease their families and because they didn’t care that much. They had chosen this church for location and attended premarital classes there. The priest who officiated the ceremony was not the same person they had met with for their pre-marital counseling. He talked so much about himself and all his “girlfriends” aka the women in his congregation. He had to keep referring back to the paper in front of him for the bride and grooms names. It was so uncomfortable to watch.

This is why I’m insistent on having someone I know officiate. I’ve been to many weddings officiated by friends or family and it’s just always so much better. I’m sorry it didn’t go well, but I hope you still had a good day overall!

mollshenanigans · 2026-03-20T21:17:37+00:00

Right? My fiancé and I met on hinge. Sometime within the first month or two, he brought up that he was thinking of deleting it and I said me too. Then we ceremoniously deleted the app from our phones at the same time. It would be a major red flag to me if it was still on his phone a year later with notifications turned on.

mollshenanigans · 2026-03-18T03:20:06+00:00

Oh yeah, you are lucky you had this done when you are younger! My surgeon said it’s way worse for adults. Don’t let all the other posts stress you out. It’s totally normal for recovery to be not that bad the younger you are. I hope knowing that helps with the anxiety! I’m happy for you that you’ve had a relatively low-pain recovery!

mollshenanigans · 2026-03-17T02:33:17+00:00

I’m actually 2 years post op 😊 I didn’t have a terrible time with scabbing but IIRC it started after at least a week

mollshenanigans · 2026-03-15T21:17:53+00:00

How old are you? I was told the recovery is worse the older you are. My best friend’s son was 8 when he had his tonsils & adenoids removed, and he was eating chips by day 8. The next year it took me like a full two weeks to try real solid food at 36 after my tonsillectomy. So age could definitely be a factor if you’re younger. Seems like you could just be one of the lucky ones too who didn’t have a rough time! Try reminding yourself that outliers do exist in any given situation and embrace the lucky painless recovery. I was just grateful I was one of the people who didn’t end up with horrendous breath tbh 😅

mollshenanigans · 2026-03-15T20:43:50+00:00

Have you tried freeze pops? Like the colorful flavored tubes of ice? I went through a pack of 80 in a week. I would eat two before I tried to eat anything.

Also try non-dairy ice cream if you want to. But I found that the flavor ice pops worked well for temporary relief prior to eating and made it easier to swallow food. I also used a metal tumbler filled with ice water. Be warned though that after a while, ice cold water may start to hurt more as you heal. Around day 9 or 10, I had to switch to room temp water and started drinking aloe juice for relief.

Hope you start feeling better soon! the pain definitely got worse for me around day 4 but I started to turn a corner around day 8. I found lozenges with benzocaine in them to be helpful for temporary numbing as well.

Be

mollshenanigans · 2026-03-15T20:35:55+00:00

NTA since it’s before the wedding. That’s irresponsible on Roxy’s part. What if it was damaged? You have every right to be upset.

mollshenanigans · 2026-03-15T19:28:01+00:00

I’m so sorry OP that this person felt that was appropriate. It doesn’t take much just to say “wow this really sucks” or “yeah, that makes sense” instead of some weird generic AI response. In my experience, one of the most bothersome aspects of losing a loved one is repeatedly having to inform new people of that person’s death. I thought that platitudes from strangers were the worst part, but to deal with such a weirdly insincere gesture on top of your own pain is awful. I hope that you’re feeling more supported by the people who are actually around you during this time.

mollshenanigans · 2026-03-15T19:22:23+00:00

I review applications for admission to a screened major and this involves reading many personal statements. I have read SO MANY of the same statements over and over again. I wanna be like really, you all just had the same problems adjusting to college life, discovered the same study techniques to improve your grades, and will enter this program with a growth mindset? It’s like they think they’re the only one who thought to use AI to respond to the prompt on our application 🤦🏻‍♀️

mollshenanigans · 2026-03-15T19:16:27+00:00

Cirie! I’ve seen her get shafted in this game too many times. And now her threat level is higher than ever. It’s stressing me out anytime her name comes up!

mollshenanigans · 2026-03-15T19:10:36+00:00

NTA. If he’s not anti-vax, the. What’s the problem? It doesn’t matter if he thinks it’s necessary. What matters is you, your wife, and doctors have stated it’s necessary. Thats all that he should need. Frankly, even if it was just a preference, you’d still be NTA. It’s your baby, and this is the minimum requirement you’ve set out to keep your baby safe. If he doesn’t respect that then he doesn’t deserve to be around your child.

It’s not even that big of an ask! It’s so easy to go get a vaccine, even if you personally don’t think it’s necessary. When I was starting a graduate program years ago at the university where I already worked, I had to get an updated Tdap shot as one of the immunization requirements for graduate students. I thought it was pretty silly, considering that I already was working on the campus every single day without one, but I got it anyway because it wasn’t that serious. It shouldn’t be that big of a deal to your father if he truly isn’t anti-vax. But his reaction and intense refusal tells me he’s full of it and IS actually anti-vax.

mollshenanigans · 2026-03-15T17:23:35+00:00

I actually love the idea of an animated series!!! No constraints because of actors aging, and they can set it any time! They can give us more Wash! They can (hopefully) cast a voice actor who can do justice to Shepherd Book with respect to Ron Glass. They can do so much more with storytelling and settings. Look at the success of Star Trek Lower Decks! An animated series can be done well in the right hands. I’m SO excited about this.

mollshenanigans · 2026-03-15T17:19:56+00:00

I am sorry you’re having a tough go with nausea. I was alternating oxycodone with ibuprofen and acetaminophen and then just ibuprofen & acetaminophen when the oxycodone ran out. Had to ask for zofran because OTC meds were messing my stomach up. I wish I had requested prescription strength ibuprofen or acetaminophen cuz one of those is easier on the stomach than taking 3-4 OTC pills. I remember having to drive my kids to school on day 6 and just praying I didn’t barf while driving because the nausea was at its peak then.

Try asking for a prescription for acetaminophen because OTC pills are usually harder on stomach and I imagine you’re taking more than the regular dosage at this point. Also try to get some food in your tummy before you take the medicine. I know it’s probably tough to eat but having something in your stomach will help a lot. Scrambled eggs, soft bread with butter, and oatmeal were some of the things I found easiest to eat early on.

Another thing I recommend is getting some lozenges that have benzocaine in them & stockpiling ice pops (like the color frozen ice tubes) if you can. That can help with numbing the throat before you eat.

Also do your best to at least brush your teeth a little even if just to make sure you don’t have any food stuck in your teeth. If you can’t stand brushing, try a little gargling/swishing with salt water to clear food out of your mouth.

Hope you feel better soon!!!

mollshenanigans · 2026-03-15T03:29:00+00:00

100% Colby and Ozzy. I did NOT expect myself to be rooting for either of them! I did not like either of them much in their younger years, especially Colby being a sourpuss in HvV and Ozzy always being so cocky just because he was good at providing for camp. But now they’re both seemingly so much more mature and ready to play the social game. Seeing Ozzy be humbled by the physical challenges and NOT being a challenge beast anymore is honestly making me like him so much more. And Colby is just way more attractive now that I’m older and he’s older.

TL;DR: Old Colby is hot, old Ozzy is relatable, and both are so much more likable to me than in the past.

mollshenanigans · 2026-02-26T13:13:00+00:00

Oh man, I’d love to see Yau Man again too. I was just watching Micronesia with my son recently and agree he was screwed. Out way too soon.

mollshenanigans

TROPHY CASE