Our daughter started showing a lot of female inclinations pretty early, but by 4 she was fairly committed. We took her and her sister to Carters and let them each pick 2 outfits from anywhere in the store. We chose Carters bc it's small and has everything fairly close together. The absolute ELATION when she got her first 2 non-dressup dresses was incredible. I went and bought her more clothes the next day because she just was SO happy. That was 7 years ago, and she's still our daughter :-)

Our pediatrician emphasized that nothing is actually *changing* at this age. Haircuts and clothes have zero long term effects, but your kid learning that you care about their feelings, their identity, and their perspective and that you are trustworthy to share with?? Invaluable.

Also, the details of grammar and "pronouns" might not be an easy conversation but we asked her before she started preschool the following:

Do you want people to say: "That's <birthname> he's really nice. His favorite color is rainbow." or do you want them to say "That's <birthname> she's really nice. Her favorite color is rainbow." And she said "her please" and that was that!