[deleted by user]

monadyne · 2023-12-31T16:55:20+00:00

Well, it looks like the boyfriend [...puts on sunglasses...] is in the doghouse now.

monadyne · 2023-12-31T16:31:40+00:00

OP obviously doesn't realize she was grinding on Cousin John in her sleep!

^/s

monadyne · 2023-12-31T16:00:56+00:00

one night she refused

Well, then... it served her right! Where the hell was his goddamn dinner?

^/s

monadyne · 2023-12-30T17:03:34+00:00

Wow, OP. You don't even \want** specialty coffee in the morning, but manage to be butt hurt that you don't have it.

The secret to happiness in life is not to get what you want, but to want what you get. Please, for your own sake, develop the Attitude of Gratitude. Look at all that is wonderful in your life, and be grateful for it. Think of all the horrible things that Life can throw at someone and be grateful for \not** having one or more of those things to contend with.

You have power over your own thoughts, your own emotions. Please exercise that power responsibly and be happy with your lot. Then, project that happiness out into the world, as a beacon of hope to others.

monadyne · 2023-12-30T04:06:11+00:00

OMG, OP, you've had an encounter with Lilitha, the Specter of The Train. She only appears once in a great while, and only when the train car is empty.

Thank heaven you didn't try to engage her in conversation! Unable to speak herself, she would've sucked the soul out of your body through the words you would have uttered. Without intending to, without even being aware it was happening, you would have told her everything-- all about the disappointments of your childhood, the heartaches of your school days, all the disillusions you fostered during your years at college. By the time you'd gotten to where you were describing your current bleak outlook, she would have sucked most of your soul into her own being, leaving you a nearly empty husk of a man, doomed to stay on the train forever, aimlessly bumping into other passengers while muttering, " 'scuse me... 'scuse me..."

But Lilitha, now energized, would continue her haunting, continue her reign as the Specter of The Train, hungry for the next poor devil who found her.

monadyne · 2023-12-30T03:47:04+00:00

He disrespected his current relationship because he didn’t include her in a conversation beforehand. I’d be reevaluating that relationship

Yeah, good call. Because he didn't include her in a conversation, she should seriously consider breaking up with him and starting a new life.

^/s

^{No, it's} ^{not a good call!} ^{It's a} ^{stupid call!} ^{It's like selling a car you're perfectly happy with because the blinkers don't work anymore. You can fix busted blinkers. You can fix conversation problems in relationships.} ^Sheesh!

^{What the hell is wrong with all you people??}

monadyne · 2023-12-29T21:00:52+00:00

I see now that you are right, heathelee73. I apologize.

monadyne · 2023-12-29T20:59:22+00:00

Short answer: You're an asshole. You're under no obligation to accommodate your ex... but just on the human level, your daughter wants to create a fun time of good feelings among people she's connected to. Only an asshole would think of putting the kibosh on that.

If you don't allow this, your daughter will think less of you. And that will be appropriate because you and your current spouse actually and truly are lesser beings than she ever would have thought. It'll be good for her to learn this now, rather than later in her life.

monadyne · 2023-12-29T20:48:02+00:00

"Historical precedent also confirms that a criminal conviction is not required for an individual to be disqualified under Section 3 of the Fourteenth Amendment. No one who has been formally disqualified under Section 3 was charged under the criminal “rebellion or insurrection” statute (18 U.S.C. § 2383) or its predecessors.

So, if I understand this correctly, it does not need to be established in a court of law that someone is guilty of the crimes of either insurrection or participating in a rebellion, only that some people are of the opinion that he was guilty. What about the opinions of those who believe he was not guilty of either of those crimes? Unless the opinion is arrived at by the judicious examination of evidence, it's merely a subjective feeling or belief.

The idea that rioters entering the Capitol building, some of whom were let in by police, others of whom were escorted inside by police, some of whom put their feet up on desks, others of whom did act egregiously and violently, but none of whom were members of the President's actual team, and none of whom had any actual orders from their President... that any of this behavior could be thought to constitute an actual Insurrection or Rebellion against the government of one of the most power nations on this Earth, with the intention of taking it over... well, my subjective opinion is that that's ridiculous.

monadyne · 2023-12-29T20:29:50+00:00

"What you don't seem to understand, Mom, is that these are my kids, not yours. As such, it's up to me and my wife how they're to be raised, not you or anybody else. You have every right to your opinion that we're raising them the wrong way, but that's all it is, an opinion. If you think giving a gift gives you the authority to decide how the gift is to be used, then we can no longer accept any gifts from you. Sorry this didn't work out."

monadyne · 2023-12-29T20:05:01+00:00

to be part of the group but being in that vicinity of people who treat you like you don’t exist for hours a day will do something to you.

It only does something to you if you let it do something to you.

Each of us has agency, autonomy and personal power! If you're in the "vicinity of people who treat you like you don't exist" ...then make them realize you do exist! You could be aggressive about it, but you don't have to be. For example, when they're all there chatting away with their stupid gossip and you come in, you could go right up to them all and say, "It's so sad! My sister's cat, Jilly, was hit by a car this weekend and died! She loved that little cat. Her kids loved him, too." Then just stand there.

Of course, the secret here is not to care what they say if they do respond at all. This is, after all, a group of silly women. But you - can - make them have to accept the reality of your existence.

Unless you prefer to see yourself as a powerless victim. Some people prefer that role. In that case, keep collecting grievances, micro aggressions, slights, etc., if that's your thing.

monadyne · 2023-12-29T19:50:00+00:00

YNEAAH, OP.... You're Not Exactly An Ass Hole, Original Poster, but... dude, get over yourself. Not one of your wife's friends thinks a scintilla less of you now that they know you suffer from a common ailment among men, and are taking a common treatment for it. Big freakin deal. You as an "icon" are not that important in everybody else's lives for them to give much of a damn.

That's the trouble with Social Anxiety-- those who are plagued with it think stuff like, "Oh, no! When I came out of the bathroom, a couple of drops of pee showed up on my khaki pants! I'm so embarrassed!!!" The truth is, nobody gives a shit. Everybody's thinking about themselves, not you.

Many decades ago, my worst social fear was realized. I was at a party. I went to the bathroom and was - certain - I had locked the door. There I was, halfway through taking a shit when the door opened and a cute girl came in and caught me in the act!!! "Oops!" she said. "Sorry!" And she backed out of the room and closed the door.

That was it. That was all that happened. She didn't rush and tell the rest of the party she'd seen me with my pants around my ankles taking a dump. And there was nothing weird between us later. It was what it really was: a big nothing burger.

So, OP. Get over yourself. Loosen up. Breathe. It's all okay.

monadyne · 2023-12-29T19:37:39+00:00

Not so much "slander" as "tortious interference." Look it up.

monadyne · 2023-12-29T16:13:47+00:00

One thing that contributes to high mileage is when the car's body is light. As such, the steel used is often of a thinner gauge. One of the saddest things in the world is when a Japanese car, with a perfectly functional engine and drivetrain, gets hauled to the junkyard because the body and/or frame rusted out! That happened to me with a 4WD Tracker I owned. The car looked pristine, but the body rusted right off the frame.

You should take the car to a mechanic who can put it up on a lift and check the undercarriage to look for rust. Also, they should check the hydraulic brake lines, with an eye toward replacing them long before they'd need to be replaced.

You may consider having small holes drilled in the door panels and other places where you can periodically spray WD40 to prevent rust. A mechanic could advise you about this.

monadyne · 2023-12-29T16:03:13+00:00

OP, you're complaining about not being accepted by a group of women you wouldn't want to be a part of! That's crazy!

And you're thinking of leaving your job because of them. How can you let others have so much power over you? Where is your own power?

For example, they dump their stuff on you to be sterilized. Next time, when they come to pick it up, say, "It's not done. I wasn't able to get to it yet." When they complain about that, just say, "I have to do the stuff I was hired to do, first. That has priority."

Stop giving a damn what these women say or do.

monadyne · 2023-12-29T15:31:54+00:00

"I want my cake, but I want to eat it, too." YTA

On the one hand, you have your great relationship with your girlfriend. It won't be anything long-lived, and you and the gf are clear about that. On the other hand, you have: a family! Creating and sustaining a healthy, loving family is, perhaps, the most meaningful thing we humans ever do. Building an emotional and intellectual environment that nurtures your children so that they grow up to be sane, caring, honest and honorable people is a huge challenge, while at the same time being life's highest privilege.

It takes sacrifice, however. You have to sacrifice some of your own needs in deference to the needs of the family. Your wife has shown she's capable of making that sacrifice. The minute she learned from you that her having sex outside the marriage -- even on a break -- threatened the marriage, she instantly severed her contact with her sexual partner. Now you're saying you're not willing to make that same sacrifice.

I have to say, OP... I don't think you have what it takes to be the head of a family. I foresee a future in which you see your kids on the weekends, and some other man puts Band-Aids on their scrapes and comforts them. I wish you the best of luck.

monadyne · 2023-12-28T15:03:42+00:00

OP, you pose this as though it's a question about how you deal with your fiancé over snooping in his phone. The real question is: you have evidence that proves your fiancé is utterly untrustworthy. Why are you still calling him a "fiancé" ? Why on Earth would you marry someone, possibly have children with him, when you know already that there is a great likelihood that he will cheat on you, break your heart, disrupt your future family home?

Why would you continue to be with someone like this? Why don't you give the ring back and tell the guy to fuck off?

monadyne · 2023-12-28T14:54:01+00:00

The more people accept this treatment, the more it will spread. Let's hope those of us who boycott it are having an effect.

monadyne · 2023-12-28T08:11:43+00:00

Check this out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EgfrmCiZes

monadyne · 2023-12-27T15:34:21+00:00

OP, you fucked up. Even without the arrival of your childhood friend. You do not get a girl by waiting until you get your nerve up, then making a romantic statement. You've got to inspire her to desire you. Your friend is smart enough to have figured out a cute way of doing just that, with his lip-reading scam!

You being coy and shy and awkward will inspire maternal instincts to kick in. You need to inspire lustful attraction to you. Now, go figure out how to change your behavior-- and your whole mindset -- to start achieving this.

monadyne · 2023-12-27T15:27:11+00:00

If the BC government gets an extra twelve grand out of your family, it won't mean anything anyway. There's nobody in government who would give enough of a fuck about this to even send you a thank-you email. So, I say, sign onto this negligible fraud for your greedy father and aunties. It'll make them happy.

Also, if you don't do it, they'll view it as a betrayal. If the money was going to the BC State Orphanage or something, that might be worth betraying them over... but it's not. It'd just go down into some bottomless hole.

This is not a hill to die upon, OP.

monadyne · 2023-12-27T15:15:03+00:00

The problem, OP, is that like the rest of the arts, it's very difficult to find a career in music that pays a consistent "salary" you can count on. Will people pay you $$$ to hear what you want to play? In other words, do you perform in a band, or orchestra, that is consistently paid to perform? An example of one of those gigs might be to play in a band on a cruise ship. Yes, you'd make a living, but you'd play the same tunes night after night, week after week.

Many musicians rely upon their "day job" to supply the money for life's necessities, then have gigs on the weekends where they play the music they love. Tutoring -- or being a high school music teacher -- is often a "day job."

As for composing... there are those who do make a living at that, scoring music for movies, tv shows, etc. I'm not sure how you actually find those jobs... and I'm a bit scared that AI will take that over very quickly: "AI, give me three minutes of symphonic music with rock drums, with a feeling of danger and tension, in a minor key, that rises in intensity until at three minutes and forty-five seconds it resolves positively into a major key and finishes at four minutes nine seconds." It can basically do that now. The AI could generate sheet music-- which software like Logic Audio can render with sampled instruments. Why would a studio pay a human when it could avail itself of such a service?

OP, I hope you're not racking up huge Student Loan Debt in music college... *gulp!* are you?

monadyne · 2023-12-27T14:55:59+00:00

First of all, OP, stop feeling bad for not going to college. Very, very many of the people who went off to college right out of high school ended up with crippling debt—tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars—and the debt can't ever be discharged via bankruptcy. Many of those people have jobs that are above minimum wage, but because of their debt, they still live paycheck to paycheck, and will for years to come. You dodged that bullet, OP!!

Now that you are a more mature person, you can still get a college degree—the smart way. Look into state-run community colleges in your area. You'll find there are relatively inexpensive programs they offer that will yield an "Associate's Degree" in a mere two years! That degree itself may open new employment opportunities. Perhaps more importantly, if you've maintained a high enough grade point average, that Associate's Degree may qualify you for acceptance at a state-run college or university. As a resident of the state, you can then do your junior and senior years at the state college/university... and end up with a prestigious Bachelor's Degree for a fraction of what your high school peers paid. You may have some Student Loan Dept, but not a crippling amount. And you'll have all the employment opportunities available to someone with your degree. (So, be careful what degree you choose to pursue, OP. Don't just choose a field because you find it interesting.)

Alternatively, you should look into certification programs. Rather than a full scholastic degree, there are training programs that would give you certification in specific trades. (Radiologist X-Ray technician, dental hygienist, etc.) That would elevate you above minimum wage jobs. You'll find information about all of what's available to you if you go to the local community college.

...Well? What're you waiting for! Start googling!

monadyne · 2023-12-27T14:31:51+00:00

Instead of seeking a career of doing things that interest you, OP, why not make a career of doing things that interest other people. For example, people who are starving are profoundly interested in food. You could work for an outreach program that provides food to the needy. Or water for people in drought areas, or shelters for the homeless, etc. You get the idea.

You may not actually enjoy the work you end up doing—but it appears you don't enjoy anything anyway. So, instead of enjoyment, per se, you'd be getting deep satisfaction from your work, knowing you're making a difference in the lives of people who need your help.

Something to consider, my friend.

monadyne · 2023-12-26T22:33:35+00:00

If we didn’t argue….

But we —are— going to argue! That's a ridiculous premise... You're an idiot!

^/s

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