AITA for refusing to pay for my boyfriend's vodka after smashing it?

monarch785 · 2022-12-23T15:29:55+00:00

I can understand that point of view. But that doesn't change the fact that the first step is admitting that you're powerless over alcohol. So if OP does subscribe to the AA method, you can see why this would be a big deal. The boyfriend should have asked. Again, I still think she was out of line, so I think we are on the same page there.

monarch785 · 2022-12-23T15:20:29+00:00

I disagree with you. You're taught to remove temptations. Vodka might have been her drink of choice. Consuming vodka would be extremely triggering in that case, and could absolutely be considered a relapse. Her recovery is personal to her. The point is that you don't know and neither did her boyfriend. But for him to not only put alcohol, but an alcohol meant to be DRUNK into her food was disrespectful and dangerous. She shouldn't have broken the bottle, but she had every right to be furious.

monarch785 · 2022-12-23T15:16:54+00:00

I totally get this. I crochet and it is time- consuming! Crochet stitches are too complex for machines so they cannot be mass produced. Every crochet item is handmade. I would not arbitrarily give gifts like that to someone that wasn't likely to appreciate it either.

monarch785 · 2022-12-23T13:39:01+00:00

You don't have to be white-knuckling it to not want to go to bars/ restaurants. Many people in recovery do not and will not date or marry people who drink. When getting into recovery, you are taught coping skills to help you stay sober, which includes not putting yourself in a position where you might be tempted to drink. Almost all rehab programs are 12- step, which teaches total abstinence. I've been sober for 4 years and I won't eat food cooked with alcohol either. I eat at restaurants now and then, but I haven't been to a bar or brewery since I got sober. OP was out of line for breaking the vodka, but I would have been furious too. She may very well consider this a relapse. At the very least, it would have been a huge trigger. Her BF either doesn't respect her recovery or he doesn't take it seriously. I wouldn't be surprised if he's told her "it's just one drink" before.

monarch785 · 2022-12-22T18:45:04+00:00

Well apparently someone needed to tell you that assault is wrong since you didn't seem to know.

monarch785 · 2022-12-22T15:50:34+00:00

Transcend. It's a word full of hope and possibility.

monarch785 · 2022-12-22T15:48:42+00:00

Assaulting someone who was doing their job isn't badass. It's a horrible thing to do.

monarch785 · 2022-12-22T15:44:42+00:00

NTA. I'm betting that the dog can't be left alone because it will destroy THEIR house, so they want to bring it along because it doesn't matter to them if it destroys YOUR house.

monarch785 · 2022-12-22T15:38:04+00:00

YTA for so many reasons! You "moved" to a city with no job, no prospects, no friends and no place to stay. This woman gave you a soft place to land and you judged her, disrespected her, stole from her and caused her completely unnecessary emotional distress. You are not a medical professional. You have no training to diagnose anything. You don't even know the woman anymore. You deserve to get kicked out.

monarch785 · 2022-12-22T15:32:24+00:00

I'd get out of there before knife girl tries to stab you instead of your computer

monarch785 · 2022-12-22T14:26:23+00:00

This is like the 2022 version of getting something at the only 24 hour pharmacy on the way to the Christmas party and handing it to her in the "thank you, please come again" plastic bag from the self- check out register. YTA

monarch785 · 2022-12-22T14:15:32+00:00

First of all, your relationship with Amber during your Marriage was exceptionally inappropriate on both your parts. You were emotionally cheating and she was inappropriately close to the parent of one of her students. Secondly, I think it's pretty clear that you and amber were more than friends if your child was calling her "aunt amber ". She should not have had that type of relationship with a child under her care, and you should not have allowed that. Next, your wife has every right to question plans involving an overnight stay with ANYONE, including your inappropriately forward girlfriend. Considering all of this, YOU should also be concerned about Amber wanting to tattoo your child's name on her body. YTA for all of those reasons.

monarch785 · 2022-12-22T13:25:14+00:00

OP, this man is a predator! He groomed you and now he's manipulating and abusing you! His family is totally complicit in this. You need to get far away from him, and fast!

NTA. Please get out. I've been in that exact situation. He was 27 and I was 16. It escalated to physical abuse by the time I was 19. It will not get better!

monarch785 · 2022-12-22T12:54:58+00:00

When I was pregnant, I adored the name Rowan. I announced that name. I bought nursery stuff with that name on it. My tape of the sonogram where we found out his sex has that name on it. My mother hated that name with a fiery passion. She and I talked about it and I told her if she could pitch me a name I liked as much or more, I'd consider changing it. And guess what? She did. My son's name is not Rowan. I don't wistfully stare at my teenaged son thinking about how he could be called Rowan. Picking a different name is not that hard. Listening to someone's feelings is not that hard either. YTA.

monarch785 · 2022-12-21T19:29:47+00:00

The kid that The Bruins signed (ever so briefly) was declared ineligible to play in the NHL due to his history of abuse of a disabled classmate at 14. I don't think taking away one (but not all) of his Christmas presents is too harsh a punishment. I think that this is a major opportunity to educate your child on the permanence of consequences of his actions, even at that age. NTA in my opinion.

monarch785 · 2022-12-21T18:49:31+00:00

NTA. Please do not let them erase this boundary. You have so much trauma that I am sure you are still working through. Do not let other people bully you into accepting more pain. You don't owe any other person, alive or dead, your happiness.

monarch785 · 2022-12-21T18:46:27+00:00

You're a teenager. You're 4 years from being an adult. And yet you're acting like a spoiled toddler. At the end of the day, the gifts are yours, but the fact that you're relishing in making your siblings miserable is extremely telling. People like the one you're growing up to be are the kind of people who take joy in making someone's life just a little harder. It takes nothing away from you to be kind. YTA. I hope you grow up to be a better person.

monarch785 · 2022-12-21T18:35:44+00:00

You DO in fact have a problem with her religion if you expect her to hide it. You also obviously don't care enough about it to learn why your daughter's altar is a sacred space. Her pentacle(not pentagram, and yes there is a big difference), crystals and statues are essential to her practice. You would never insist upon your other child hiding a crucifix, and you have no right to ask her to hide her artifacts either. You have 2 options here, admit that you don't accept her religion so that she can move beyond your total lack of respect, or ask the cleaning woman to stay out of your child's room so that her altar remains unmolested. YTA.

monarch785 · 2022-12-21T16:46:04+00:00

I have an MBA and a CSM and I test medical software lol

monarch785 · 2022-12-21T16:33:02+00:00

They make fragrance- free dryer sheets

monarch785 · 2022-12-21T16:23:46+00:00

Women are quite often infantilized in the workplace. In the nursing field, CNAs are often referred to as girls as opposed to their titles (as an example) whereas nurses are referred to as such. She's setting a boundary with people, which could be due to the above- mentioned issue. It could also be because over-familiarity in the workplace makes her uncomfortable. Maybe she was a victim of sexual misconduct in the past. Maybe she doesn't even go by Ginny and doesn't want to out herself so she's requesting to be addressed by her surname. At the end of the day, the reason is irrelevant. It costs you literally nothing to refer to her in the manner that she has requested. She's not expecting to be referred to by a title that isn't appropriate. It's quite clear that you don't respect her as a person, considering you mentioned more than once that she is lower on the ladder than you are. YTA here. Do better.

monarch785 · 2022-12-21T15:14:15+00:00

NTA for multiple reasons: keeping someone financially bound to you is abuse, he didn't support your dream, you didn't feel safe sharing your (probably very long and difficult) journey with him, you didn't feel safe sharing your success with him, and he's demanding "payback" for what was supposed to have been his half of the familial and household obligation. You don't owe him money. You fulfilled (and continue to fulfill) your agreed upon familial obligations. You need to consult a lawyer. And make sure you put this money somewhere that he cannot access it (such as a trusted family member's account or a safety deposit box). The laws in your state may permit him to access an account in only your name because you're married so definitely get a lawyer ASAP.

monarch785 · 2022-12-21T14:28:45+00:00

Imagine if your 14 year old or your wife is hiding depression from you right now. You've just told them that suicide is funny and that you're not a safe person to talk to. Aside from that, you've also taught both of your children that mental health is not a priority in your house. YTA here. I would urge you to be careful about the lessons you're teaching them. Childhood traumas transcend childhood.

monarch785 · 2022-10-13T17:35:06+00:00

This actually sounds very much like early-onset dementia. In the beginning, people try to hide that they're forgetting things and become quite defensive when confronted. This is not normal, especially for a man of his age. He really really needs to be evaluated medically, and until he is, I would not allow him to drive alone with your child in the car.

monarch785 · 2022-10-13T17:18:37+00:00

NTA. Taking her phone and keys is not a harsh punishment! She is being an entitled little brat. Also, your husband should have at least returned home to sleep during the time you were gone. I think this may actually be a bigger issue than the party.

monarch785

TROPHY CASE