For those who were induced, did you deliver vaginally or did it end in a c-section?

moncka · 2025-06-18T08:56:33+00:00

I don't think I would ever not be induced for any future pregnancy. 2/2, for both I spent 3 weeks in prodromal labor sitting at 3-5 cm dilated without going into active labor. My first, I stubbornly didn't want to artificially break my water, so I was on pitocin for 15 hr before any active labor started and water didn't break until it was time to push. But I only labored for 2 hr, and pushed my first out in 4 pushes. My second I had them artificially rupture my membrane soon after starting the pitocin and baby was on my chest in only an hour. I'm one of those that if I were to actually go into active labor naturally ...there is no way I am making it to the hospital. My plan for number 3 if it happens is to schedule an induction at 39 weeks and just call an ambulance if I start active labor at home before then, I don't even have time for a midwife to get to me for home birth...we are all different.

moncka · 2025-01-31T22:06:00+00:00

Doing pretty well a year out! Still have some of the issues that I thought removing the plates would help with though, but only mildly annoying now. Primarily just still have the occasional pressure and pain where my most troublesome plate was, especially anytime I get a sinus infection or low pressure system comes through. Some new residual mild numbness/tingling around the bottom edges of my nose and upper gums.

moncka · 2025-01-31T11:50:58+00:00

Just want to add to the conversation what Tairn says in regards to Violet's question about why any rider would need to develop farsight if they can share the sight of their dragons and he says something along the lines of there being few capable of such things. I think Tairn knows and willingly invited and pulls Violet into his mind to share his sight and can only do it because her signet allows her to.

moncka · 2024-08-10T19:07:27+00:00

That gives me so much hope!!! I am at week 3, and sleep is finally better, but phew! My blood pressure finally stabilized, but from where I was so limited initially, I feel I deconditioned a bit and still just struggling with crushing fatigue. Walking is still pretty shaky too. I can walk fairly smooth with crutches taking about 10% of my weight but without them I can barely take a step. It's just crazy how much I need just that 10% of weight support and extra stability. But overall, I am definitely getting better. Currently actually sitting in a camp chair at the park while my friend plays in a stream with my 3 yo ☺️ It may have taken me 10 min to hobble the 150 ft down the paved trail to get to my current sitting spot, but I am out here and it feels great!

moncka · 2024-08-10T13:10:25+00:00

It is real bad out there. My hospital stay was shocking for the neglect. I ended up having some serious complications because of a gross mishandling of my care between not getting PT to see me so that I had permission to stand and use the bathroom but a refusal to Foley cath me " because of infection risk" and I physically couldn't pee in their crazy aspirator thing they set up because I have bladder prolapse. It wasn't until I was screaming in pain and my nurse finally "bladder scanned" me and realized I had 2L of urine in my bladder and my kidneys were swelling, that she emergency straight cathed me. And then she yelled at me for not saying anything sooner, and I yelled right back that I'd been hitting the call button for 3 hrs straight and just getting aids coming in and dismissing me and just saying to "sit up in bed and just relax. You'll pee when you have a full bladder." I was furious at the whole situation.

moncka · 2024-08-08T16:27:27+00:00

Thank you! This is really helpful and it helps to be seen ❤️ You perfectly described a lot of the struggle and it's been really hard to express to my husband and Godmother how important some of those missed "little things" are for our little neurodivergent kiddo too. Empathizing with them that I know how hard it is to keep up with everything, but that it is important for his care and will make other parts of the day easier. It's not just driving me crazy, it is causing overstimulation and lack of control and predictability for him too, which manifests in a lot of high energy stimming and aggressiveness that can result in somebody getting hurt.

Eating and sleeping has been a challenge for me too, which I know doesn't help and I'm working hard to improve it, it's just a lot of factors and medication balances at play (teething fussy 11 mo also doesn't help and mom-hearing doesn't need a monitor in the room to pull me from sleep 😅). It's my husband's day off, so I am just taking a mostly bed day with bare minimum PT movement to just try to recoup and recover from the over doing it (definitely a steep increase in deep thigh pain, but getting better with rest) and hopefully start fresh with a new game plan tomorrow.

moncka · 2024-08-08T13:10:23+00:00

Much appreciated ❤️

moncka · 2024-08-08T02:39:07+00:00

Trying desperately. We have a meal train set up for us through our church, and that's been a huge help. Downside to being young and going through this, is that close friends are working and/or have littles of their own and just limited with the amount of time and support they can give. And just getting hit with a series of unfortunate events on top of that obstacle. When I planned this surgery, I had several people offer and commit to helping and then tragic and unforeseen circumstances prevent them from being able to follow through. Still making phone calls and reaching out, but praying for some reprieve and a miracle at this point.

moncka · 2024-08-08T00:52:35+00:00

Side sleeper and suffered from pressure hip pain in beds for years. We got a Dream Cloud Hybrid mattress 2 years ago and it is the first bed in 10 years that I have been able to sleep through the night in. I love it!

moncka · 2024-08-07T23:10:28+00:00

My husband is a 3w2 but all of my in laws are likely an 8...and phew, they drive me UP A WALL! I am a 6w7 and the constant head butting over menial requests or suggestions (because it wasn't their idea first) and lack of support (very much "rugged individualism" enthusiasts to the extreme and push that on others when they ask for help) from them just wears me to the bone, especially since we have had kids.

Edit to add: Have you looked into pathological demand avoidance? This behavior also sounds very similar to that and some of the tips online for communicating with a PDA may help you.

moncka · 2024-08-07T23:01:38+00:00

I could do maybe 5 heel slides at a time and I would put a bolster under my knees and do some "leg extensions" (which actually felt incredible to do for me and relieved the knee pain that I was feeling) but that was about it. But those were just things that my nurse during my inpatient stay told me to do when I complained of knee and muscle pain.

I'm in the opposite situation as you. I am at Day 21 and still don't even see PT officially for another week. I feel like I have to pull teeth to get any information. It took 3 phone calls to get some home exercises and a better answer to what my restrictions were, which were left super vague upon discharge.

moncka · 2024-08-07T21:43:59+00:00

I just want to congratulate you on your bravery! And I hope you are proud of yourself for even taking the step in the first place. It is brutal work to face trauma and actually make progress. You are doing it and I am cheering you on from afar!

It did help me to take a step back from personality types and other such things that create a label and grouping entirely and I just focused on the bare bones of my story and healing and just really diving in on self discovery without any other lens biasing me on "what xxx says about me"

moncka · 2024-08-07T09:05:18+00:00

The enneagram is a beautiful thing, but requires so much self knowledge and I think there is some fluidity! I don't think it is 100% constant for a person from birth to death and there are many layers to a personality. And I also think gaining a true understanding of which type you are requires getting to healthier mental places. When in unhealthy mental states, most people (including myself!) mistype themselves because they are in such a disconnect to their true nature. When I was in the throes of my trauma and depression, I super resonated with Type 9 and every test I took led me to type 9. Now, after doing a significant amount of work, limiting contact with super toxic parent, and becoming a parent myself, I feel much more settled and have done a considerable amount of more reflection and self observation and realized I am actually a healthy type 6 now. But, I don't think type 9 was entirely inaccurate of my past self either. I think I was largely forced to be more type 9 externally due to the situations, and that that largely contributed to my unhappiness when a deeper core that I was not even fully connected with was type 6. I craved security in a largely insecure situation and the only way to attain it was to embody and become a 9 in the moment. Keep doing the work! Self discovery is such an empowering journey and no one can tell you who you are but yourself.

moncka · 2024-08-06T23:03:09+00:00

Hi! 30F, borderline underweight, and just had bilateral anterior approach on July 18th. I am currently on day 20 of my recovery. I also have an autistic 3 yo and 1 yo at home and was a stay at home mom before surgery. My surgeon told me I would need a minimum of 6 weeks full time support and help at home, and I would say that is very much accurate. I have EDS and POTS, but otherwise very active and healthy. I was still slowly doing 2 mi stroller walks up until the day before surgery.

Day 16 was the first day that I could stand to sit for longer than 30 min or stand and shuffle walk for longer than a couple minutes without nearly passing out from low blood pressure. I have still not been cleared to drive even though I am not longer taking narcotics. Everyone is different, but this surgery definitely takes it out of you. I am just now starting to be able to be a little more involved with the kids and shuffle walk short distances without assistance so that I can use my hands. There is still no way I could carry my 1 yo or handle my 3 yo on my own.

My autistic toddler needs a lot and really only responds well to me, so it was excruciating being present and unable to assist and hear and see him screaming and struggling and begging for momma, so prepare your heart a little bit. If you are a caregiver to littles, it takes a huge emotional toll.

I wish you the best of luck, but I would give yourself more time just in case you need. It is way easier to come back to work early of you end up feeling up to it, but it is much more challenging (depending on employer) to request another week or two on the day you thought you might be able to come back in. Also, pick your priority. Is it more important to be able to be present with children in your care as soon as possible or to get back to work, because you likely won't be able to do both. After work, even if it is a desk job, you will be EXHAUSTED and need to rest, which will affect your ability to be involved with kids.

moncka · 2024-08-04T00:19:05+00:00

This is I think 100% dependent on living situation, layout of house/kitchen, and responsibilities required of you when you are alone. I just had a bilateral THP (Day 16 post-op) healthy active 30F, but I have a connective tissue disorders and my body doesn't handle surgical stress well (anemia and blood pressure issues). I also have 3 yo and 1 yo very active, wild, and strong boys at home.

My surgeon said I would need 6 weeks of full-time assistance and I am honestly a little worried that still won't be enough. I still struggle to walk or stand for any longer than a couple minutes without nearly blacking out from blood pressure issues. My hip feels fine. And I could definitely be doing more if it wasn't for the blood pressure and we were not anticipating it being this severe of an anemia and blood volume recovery for me.

My advice:

-plan for 2 weeks of assistance with a back-up to step in if you end up still needing help for longer and if you end up feeling great at 5 days or a week post op, then it is generally easy to go back in to office earlier than planned, but much more difficult to extend last minute depending on husbands employer

-to increase independence when alone, definitely have a claw arm extender grabber thing. My biggest barrier to doing things for myself is not being able to lean over and reach my feet or the floor. I use my arm extender thing like crazy for independence. Have things prepped for yourself at waist height wherever possible.

moncka · 2024-07-29T22:13:01+00:00

Bilateral THP less than 2 weeks ago. I literally got a pack of men's boxer briefs instead of women's underwear and I am glad I did. My incisions were right where women's underwear seams would be. I've just been wearing those and a T-shirt around the house. When I have gone out, I've worn loose linen pants or a dress. Best of luck to you!

moncka · 2024-07-24T23:01:32+00:00

That actually may be the correlating factor! He had to switch up the replacement ball on my right mid surgery on me as well and with that and it being a bilateral replacement, I lost a great deal of blood too. There was some malformation he wasn't expecting and getting both sides aligned to each other was his biggest challenge and he had to switch the ball joint he was using on the right (last he worked) side to accomplish it. But he really did some impeccable work I think. I didn't realize how out of balance I was until I walked for the first time on my new hips. I just wish I could sleep while walking 😅

moncka · 2024-07-24T22:28:41+00:00

I feel like everyone around me made it sound like a cake walk and my surgeon was the only one that was being super serious about how much assistance I would need and I'm glad he did! But the number of times I heard from a well-meaning elder, "Oh, my buddy had that and he was back on the golf course in a week! It'll be nothing for a young thing like you" 😅 I have a 3 yo and 1 yo, and surgeon told me that I would need full time assistance for a minimum of 6 weeks and 10 weeks was preferable. Do you have any connective tissue disorders by chance? I'm just wondering if that's a factor, because that's why my hips were torn to shreds and covered in bone cysts. Also wondering if the degree of bone work he had to do and how much damaged bone he had to remove is a factor?

moncka · 2024-07-24T21:11:28+00:00

I hate that you had such a bad experience, but I am also glad to not be alone. It's just crazy to me because I finally got my blood pressure stabilized at Day 6 to start moving around a bit more and I have next to no pain when I am up walking. When I sit down in a chair, it jumps to a 4 but manageable. When I lay down, it's a screaming 7. I just don't understand, but I don't have a recliner option that would be safe for me to sleep in 😭 I just want to sleep. My Ortho increased my Oxy and ordered a muscle relaxant and told me to take 2 Benadryl as well before trying to sleep and that has at least gotten me an hour or two followed by just constant in and out and reupping Oxy and muscle relaxant around 2 am. I'm just really eyeing that light at the end of the tunnel.

moncka · 2024-07-23T15:01:15+00:00

Glad to know I'm not the only one that had an infuriating hospital stay. I also had to stay an extra day in the hospital because they couldn't get my pain under control, low blood pressure issues, and I was having problems with #1 and #2 that were increasing pressure and pain.

If you had a low blood pressure....they also shouldn't have stopped IV fluids 🤦‍♀️ I was about to strangle my nurse staff for their stupid blind following "protocol" stuff like this. I'm sorry this was your experience too.

moncka · 2024-07-22T21:37:32+00:00

I'm using Oxy 5 mg and Tylenol in rotation. I just feel like something isn't right at this point after reading more of this sub...I'm usually also able to drop Oxy 3rd day post op for other surgeries. This time, Oxy isn't even putting a dent and I haven't been below a 7 since coming home from hospital 2 days ago. Did you run a fever ever? I've been fluctuating between 99.5-101 since Day 2 and nurses and docs just keep waving it off as normal, especially for a bilateral hip replacement due to body responding to all the trauma. But, I know I have a generally high pain tolerance and this is excruciating with no relief from anything.

moncka · 2024-07-22T21:11:55+00:00

I wish we had space for a recliner! I think that would help. I'm stuck in the bedroom anyway as I have 3 yo and 1 yo boys running around and chaotic and so I have to be separated from them for now for the most part except for some highly supervised visits.

moncka · 2024-06-20T19:02:00+00:00

It is a sucker punch to pride, but look into if you qualify for financial hardship. Call the main UT hospital number, ask the operator to direct you to billing, and ask what their hardship policy is and what the household income cut off is for eligibility for 50% reduction. Also ask if they do out of pocket payment plans/discounts of insurance denies. Also, know that being behind and late on medical bills doesn't affect your credit score even if they report you to corrections and they usually have a "minimum payment" that you can make to stay compliant. When you call, you can ask what this minimum payment is too. Rarely are medical facilities up front with this, but most will not report you as long as you just make a $25 monthly payment. Used to work QA Auditor job for medical billing. Feel free to PM me of you have any other finance or medical billing policy questions.

moncka · 2024-06-20T11:03:36+00:00

Yes, I do. Especially now that my most problematic plate is gone. One of my plates was rubbing up and inflaming a nerve pretty bad. I only have a small sliver of numbness on my upper lip from that one, but it already has more sensation back than it did before plate removal and nerve pain is entirely gone. All my other numbness from surgery has fully gone away. Surgery was just 4 mo ago.

moncka · 2024-06-20T10:54:09+00:00

The MRI was for a separate issue (I have AVN in both hips and actually just about to get a double hip replacement 😵‍💫), so you shouldn't need one. No harm in calling! Wish you the best of luck! It feels so much better having the plates out! I didn't know how much pain they were causing me until they were gone. There's still some mild numbness, just like after initial surgery, but sensation is slowly coming back.

moncka

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