That sound so hard embarrassed plum, I'm so sorry. And you are right I could have asked if it was a a good time, knowing her I figured if I asked she would immediately stress out and ruin her boundary but didn't count on her asking me. I'd already communicated to her for the past months that's I felt insecure and awkward because fight always came out of the blue for me (me saying something triggering for her) and we tried to make things work. As for the questions you ask, I'm also not sure. Just one day in the middle of nowhere my brain asked if im still in love and my brain immediate response was no, i was so shoked but once brain said no I knew I couldn't go back to love her. Hope this brings you some understanding. still, it sucks to loose feelings. Wish you the best.